Ok, here is my problem... dad is an INFJ, and I am basically incapable of communicating effectively with him. I either end up accidentally hurting his feelings or become so annoyed with him that I need to leave. And its killing me because I want him to be happy, but I don't know how to act around him and its always really awkward. Some of of our main points of umm... misunderstanding?
- we both like old trucks and tractors and whatnot, but he is always trying to make, like, "relationship building time" out of working outside while I am always focused on the task at hand and would honestly rather be alone
- he always wants help with EVERYTHING!!!!! and, as I brought up in the working with an ISTP thread, that just screams "I am incompetent and want to blame my problems on you" to me. Apparently he thinks we can spend quality time together while working on something?
- any time we are together he talks non stop. yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak. and of course I can't just sit there and listen/look like I'm listening...he requires responses every five frickin seconds.
- he is ALWAYS asking what my plans are, what i'm doing, who i'm seeing, who i'm doing and then needs to update me with all the personal details of his life including the taste of the glue he licked on the envelope for the card that he is sending to his fourth cousin that he hasn't seen in 15 years, but he still likes to say happy anniversary to even though he never liked his cousins choice in women since she could never brew a good pot of...you get the point
- and he gets off on saying stereotypical father things. l cant think of a good example though.
a lot of times i just go along with what he thinks is going on, which usually winds up with me not saying the right thing/ not saying enough. sometimes I just say whats on my mind, like one of my latest comments was "I know you want to elaborate, so go ahead..." which came out so badly that it offended an ISTJ.
I just get so insanely tired of "trying to bond", which is what he is ALWAYS trying to do, and I can't escape it. I love him, but I just don't have that emotional depth, and all I really want is to be left alone sometimes. Anytime I ever try to convey that it ends badly.
I introduced him to MBTI one time, and he tested as an INFJ, and i believe it was accurate. I had him read my profile too in hopes that he would understand himself and I better, but it was more like "oh, thats neat" and he never thought about it again.
So I guess I know what the problem is...and I try to understand that he's an INFJ and that's just him, but its not working. How can I get along better with my INFJ?