[Acerbusvenator]

Hi, All! :)

There's a man who is talking to me on a frequent basis, and from my "interviews" I've identified him as an ISTP. He confirmed his type by reading and agreeing with the descriptions of ISTPs that can be found on the Internet.

I've was over at the INTJ forum, and there is a thread there that gave me the idea for this thread.

So, to ISTPs and those who have insight into this question, would you please give examples of ISTP behavior when an ISTP is interested in someone for more than sex. Also, I'd be curious as to how that behavior changes after an extended time in a relationship.

Thanks!

We might pretend to be cold and reserved, but if you really want to know (speaking for myself) if the person is interested in you then ask.
Personally I appreciate when someone shows me what they want with me... but that might just be me.

Back to topic.

you know that an ISTP is interested in you when...

they try to find out all the information they can about you.
they tell you that they like you.
they get over-protective about you
they get self-protective when they think that you caught them being in love with you.

[soul215]

eh. my man is an ISTP.
He started off telling me hes always hanging around me because he had a lot of fun WITH me but he doesnt like me. I am an ENTJ, so i didnt want to believe that the attraction was just friendship because we were already getting intimate. months went by. Same story. "Im only around because youre fun to be with but I dont like you." Again, I dont believe it and I told him that Im going to make him change his mind. a year went by and hes still here. Same story again. "Im fun. Im great to be around but there is no feeling."

Ok. Fine. I got the hint.
Im moving on. BYE!

a few hours later. Hes telling me it took him just that long to realize that he does like me now. why? because I stop chasing him LMAO.
so overall. ISTP say things to test you out. TRUST ME! Mine picks fights with me JUST because he knows thats the only thing that will catch my attention when Im bored. Reasons why he led me on for nearly 2 years was because he thought I was enjoying the chase.

loser...

[Packey]

...when he's staring at you and the look on his face doesn't say "I'm going to kill you". That works for INTJs as well.

[rockthered101]

eh. my man is an ISTP.
He started off telling me hes always hanging around me because he had a lot of fun WITH me but he doesnt like me. I am an ENTJ, so i didnt want to believe that the attraction was just friendship because we were already getting intimate. months went by. Same story. "Im only around because youre fun to be with but I dont like you." Again, I dont believe it and I told him that Im going to make him change his mind. a year went by and hes still here. Same story again. "Im fun. Im great to be around but there is no feeling."

Ok. Fine. I got the hint.
Im moving on. BYE!

a few hours later. Hes telling me it took him just that long to realize that he does like me now. why? because I stop chasing him LMAO.
so overall. ISTP say things to test you out. TRUST ME! Mine picks fights with me JUST because he knows thats the only thing that will catch my attention when Im bored. Reasons why he led me on for nearly 2 years was because he thought I was enjoying the chase.

loser...

What the hell. 1) if he said he didn't want a relationship with you then he means it. You shouldn't/can't "make him change his mind"
that being said... if you want a relationship and he doesn't then why did you stay with him for so long?? Thats stupid.
2) ISTPs dont say things to test you out. I don't know where you got that. 3) if he has to pick fights with you to GET YOUR ATTENTION and you say you like him that's pretty effed up. You said you liked him yet you wont give him your attention unless he argues with you? what..... 4) he never led you on, he told you he didn't want a relationship and YOU chose to stay around. That's not leading you on... He was straight forward with you.

[Baraka]

You know an ISTP casually likes you if:

- You stalk them and they don't call the police or shoot you themselves
- They initiate spending time with you (bonus if you express zero interest in all things mechanical and they still want to hang out)
- You ask them if they like you and they say "yes"

An ISTP really likes you if:

- They make ANY future plans with you (I mean, even "six months in the future" future)
- They discuss or attempt to discuss their feelings with you
- They stick around for a while

[Kadjunga]

What the hell. 1) if he said he didn't want a relationship with you then he means it. You shouldn't/can't "make him change his mind"
that being said... if you want a relationship and he doesn't then why did you stay with him for so long?? Thats stupid.
2) ISTPs dont say things to test you out. I don't know where you got that. 3) if he has to pick fights with you to GET YOUR ATTENTION and you say you like him that's pretty effed up. You said you liked him yet you wont give him your attention unless he argues with you? what..... 4) he never led you on, he told you he didn't want a relationship and YOU chose to stay around. That's not leading you on... He was straight forward with you.

The "Testing" is something which can be found in very very select few stereotype descriptions. Descriptions written by butt hurt feelers who are not close to the istp at all and get quite a few facts wrong. ISTP's do not do testing on purpose almost ever and never break things just to fix them. But the ones who do not understand us at all and are looking for some random help jump at all the negative stuff since it gives them a reason why to move on or despise them. And people wonder why we never let anyone close fast?

Yes, he was not leading her on. It was her leading HERSELF on especially since the istp said he didnt want anything more than to be a friend. But since her story is nothing more than a 'fairytale story' then the point is moot. However, for anyone ELSE who might be reading. ISTP's are blunt and straightforward and if directly asked, they will answer. Do not read between the lines. Theres nothing there on purpose.

All in all, i believe the entj is nothing more than a troll. I do not feed trolls. But those huge points did need clarification.

[chinotto]

The "Testing" is something which can be found in very very select few stereotype descriptions. Descriptions written by butt hurt feelers who are not close to the istp at all and get quite a few facts wrong. ISTP's do not do testing on purpose almost ever and never break things just to fix them. But the ones who do not understand us at all and are looking for some random help jump at all the negative stuff since it gives them a reason why to move on or despise them. And people wonder why we never let anyone close fast?

Yes, he was not leading her on. It was her leading HERSELF on especially since the istp said he didnt want anything more than to be a friend. But since her story is nothing more than a 'fairytale story' then the point is moot. However, for anyone ELSE who might be reading. ISTP's are blunt and straightforward and if directly asked, they will answer. Do not read between the lines. Theres nothing there on purpose.

All in all, i believe the entj is nothing more than a troll. I do not feed trolls. But those huge points did need clarification.

Don't ISTP sometimes wait a LONG time to commit to something they think they might want, because they want to be SURE that they want it? E.g. the way you guys like a long friendship to feel someone out before getting romantically involved?

When this happens, I think that other types can sense the potential (or are comfortable taking a gamble on it?) before the ISTP is. In those cases the other person can feel confused or tested.

From the ISTP's perspective I am sure you are being honest, answering questions honestly in any given moment, telling the other person what you are sure of. To call it "testing" is not right or fair to you because that is not what you are trying to do at all. And I can see how that would piss you off.

But it seems that your brains work like "building a case", deciding that FOR SURE you care about somebody / want to invest in them. Sometimes we can see you building the case? Or at least thinking about it? Or something? Dunno. Maybe we always are totally making it up / being too hopeful. But sometimes it can feel like there's "something going on" or "more going on" inside you than you let on. Or maybe it just takes a while to make up your minds and we are filling it in with hope?

Hard to say, but it IS confusing on both sides.

And if someone cares about you enough to wait it out through this uncertainty (esp a feeler?), they are either totally insane or they like you a Lot.

[Kadjunga]

Don't ISTP sometimes wait a LONG time to commit to something they think they might want, because they want to be SURE that they want it? E.g. the way you guys like a long friendship to feel someone out before getting romantically involved?

When this happens, I think that other types can sense the potential (or are comfortable taking a gamble on it?) before the ISTP is. In those cases the other person can feel confused or tested.

From the ISTP's perspective I am sure you are being honest, answering questions honestly in any given moment, telling the other person what you are sure of. To call it "testing" is not right or fair to you because that is not what you are trying to do at all. And I can see how that would piss you off.

But it seems that your brains work like "building a case", deciding that FOR SURE you care about somebody / want to invest in them. Sometimes we can see you building the case? Or at least thinking about it? Or something? Dunno. Maybe we always are totally making it up / being too hopeful. But sometimes it can feel like there's "something going on" or "more going on" inside you than you let on. Or maybe it just takes a while to make up your minds and we are filling it in with hope?

Hard to say, but it IS confusing on both sides.

And if someone cares about you enough to wait it out through this uncertainty (esp a feeler?), they are either totally insane or they like you a Lot.

Yes, we take a long time to make up our minds if and when to commit and if it is worth it. ISTP's take a hell of a long time to let anyone close enough into the comfort zone and only people who are worth it reach it. And if someone is into us and we are into them, they get more time, more open communication and varying levels of trust which in turn builds up higher and higher over time. When other types see the distant and really slow way of letting anyone in and think that it is testing their 'love' then the problem is there instead. They know the istp is into them but not showing it too fast from the small signs. It is an issue with 'less developed' istp's and even the mature ones don't tend to jump into things without atleast giving it some thought.

I myself dont remember a single time when i had on purpose 'tested' if someone is into me or not in any way. I have made honest mistakes and tried to make up for them. If they thought it was 'testing' then thats beyond my control.

[yofi1]

I don't take a long time to commit at all. I think I just view commitment differently than most other people.

When it's right, it's right (right now).

[WmSheep]

We might pretend to be cold and reserved, but if you really want to know (speaking for myself) if the person is interested in you then ask.
Personally I appreciate when someone shows me what they want with me... but that might just be me.

Back to topic.

you know that an ISTP is interested in you when...

they try to find out all the information they can about you.
they tell you that they like you.
they get over-protective about you
they get self-protective when they think that you caught them being in love with you.

S##t, that's me to a tee.

i would also add that we can be somewhat clingy, and can get a little obsessive if things come to an end badly (ie we are dumped, not the dumper!!)