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Stress Management

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This is a discussion on Stress Management within the ISTP Forum - The Mechanics forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Are you sure you have identified the real stress sources and it was not just the exam pressure that is ...

  1. #11
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Are you sure you have identified the real stress sources and it was not just the exam pressure that is getting to you?

    Being under constant emotional blackmailing (the default status of a strong feeler, like an infj) can cause a LOT of stress and pressure on anyone who is not very well in touch with their feelings and emotions. Communication helps, but they will still think you are just avoiding them and turn up the dial to get even more validation back.

    That source however, is very very tricky to resolve since the other person has to understand AND comprehend the issue. For a strong feeler to recognize, that the other person does not use feelings as the base line for communication is quite similar to trying to teach that you can start a fire by pouring water on some logs. It's difficult, but it can be achieved but requires effort from both parties.

    a quick fix however, is to reduce contact and ask for a 'few days / week off' so that you can chilllax and compose yourself. (Current excuse, post exam-tension blow off by vegetating).

  2. #12
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by VictoriaB View Post
    Lately I have been under a great deal of stress. I have finished my finals for the semester and was hoping that it was the root of my stress, but it seems worse now.

    I am finding myself becoming easily annoyed by others, having a lot of built up anger, loss of motivation, loss of appetite, and low self of steam. All of these are out of the ordinary for my regular state of mind and I've found myself at a loss of what I can do to change things.

    I have considered becoming more physically active, but I'm not motivated enough to even put in a good work out at the gym. I've also tried to do hobbies that I enjoy more, but it doesn't feel like its enough. I've also attempted to take a step back when I'm getting annoyed or angry to try and see if its something even worth getting worked up about.

    Even with my attempts I'm not feeling any change or relief from my efforts. It also doesn't help that my boyfriend is experiencing a lot of self conscious thoughts and is projecting them on me. He is very worried about his room mate, who is recently single and very promiscuous, hitting on me or trying to make a move. Also, there is issues arising with my boyfriends mother and his recently deceased sibling.

    I really just need any kind of help, advice, whatever.
    This is all pretty much the same thing with me, ill just address it one by one

    Ever since school and finals ended Ive become bored, but Im not motivated to do anything about it on my own. Ill wait for friends to call or someone else to make plans to even consider leaving the house. When Im taking classes and with a lot people I get used to the atmosphere, but when Finals are over I dont see people as much so I start to seclude myself again and get more irritated around people. So when school starts again I have to get used to people again.

    I have tried to motivate myself to work out more but thats not working out either. I used to tell myself I didnt have the time before but now I have all the time in the world and still dont do it. The rare times I do do it I always feel so much better and wonder why I dont do it more often.
    I tried taking steps back and wondeing if getting angry about things was worth it. It wasnt, at all. It just made things worse. Venting feels good temporarily but humans are creatures of habit, once something starts to feel good they are more likely to do it again and again. So then you find yourself getting mad over the dumbest things just for the chance to vent. So in my experience, its definitely not worth it. (though that doesnt mean all things arent)

    Im dating an INFJ, we arent official or anything but we hang out often enough for people to notice it. Hes much more feely than I am, which im still trying to get used to. He can say his feelings so easily, which still amazes me. But anyways, because we are not official or anything, he gets super insecure when guys hit on me. Hes slowly changing his anger towards them to me now, like im letting all this happen and its my fault for not being more aggressive and stopping them. In my mind flirting is harmless. Some of my best friends have super flirty personalities so Im really used to it. I just nonchalantly answer to them. which is probably why it bothers him, I play along rather than tell them off. But I think the more we hang out the more hes becoming ok with it. I think with your issue it will eventually pass, but if not then you should maybe talk to the roomate I suppose.

    Anyways, how I got over all this shit was I decided to do something impulsive and different. For me, I got a puppy. Best decision Ive ever made. He makes me active, distracts me from anything going wrong, Im in a much better and more friendly mood. When I take him to dog parks Im much more social with people as well. I havent been angry or had low self esteem in a while. Its great what a change of pace could do.
    Pretty much all my issues got fixed with one solution. Incredibly efficient.
    ArubaDear and hailfire thanked this post.

  3. #13
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Weird how there are multiple mentions of exams really taking a toll on people here in eerily similar ways...

  4. #14
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by DlusionAl View Post

    Anyways, how I got over all this shit was I decided to do something impulsive and different. For me, I got a puppy. Best decision Ive ever made. He makes me active, distracts me from anything going wrong, Im in a much better and more friendly mood. When I take him to dog parks Im much more social with people as well. I havent been angry or had low self esteem in a while. Its great what a change of pace could do.
    Pretty much all my issues got fixed with one solution. Incredibly efficient.

    HAHA, I just got a puppy about a week or so ago. I would agree that it's helped a lot. But I almost feel like its just a 'patch work' solution and that its just postponing the anger for the time being.

  5. #15
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by VictoriaB View Post
    HAHA, I just got a puppy about a week or so ago. I would agree that it's helped a lot. But I almost feel like its just a 'patch work' solution and that its just postponing the anger for the time being.
    Yeah I thought it would be like that too, but it ended up working out for me. I cant say it wasnt a patchwork but its not like it was either. Perhaps it postponed my anger and stress so much that I eventually forgot about it. So when I think about it now its like, Meh that was so long ago its whatever now. Thats how it was for me. I guess only time can tell now.
    VictoriaB thanked this post.

  6. #16
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    I like getting in a raging argument about anything and then going for a long walk at night so I can look at the stars and realize, that even on the geologic timescale (not the universes history) that my existence is very very insignificant, and all my problems even more so.

  7. #17
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Whenever I get in a mood like that, I disappear for a couple of days and basically let myself be at the mercy of my stress. I succumb to it. Just spiral down until I find the underlying issue that's causing everything else. Once I do that, all I gotta do is fix it and I'm golden.

  8. #18
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    @VictoriaB

    your situation might have improved since last post. Hope so. After reading your OP, I recognized those same feelings in myself as depression. It's very subtle and it's sort of foreign so it feels like something is "off" but you don't know how to fix it. It's not major. Just annoying, really and slow over time.

    Looking back, I was suppressing my natural tendencies for various reasons and because of that, I was feeling trapped within my circumstances. I got out of it by identifying then initiating plans to change things. While making those plans, new opportunities arose and I went with it and things started falling into place. Im out of my funk and back to my normal self. Basically, I said 'yes' to things I wouldn't normally and that really laid out new roads, more connections.

    We sort of need variance in life. Keeps us feeling alive. Sometimes we get complacent or comfortable. It's good to shake yourself up when needed.
    VictoriaB and hailfire thanked this post.


 
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