[VintageYellow]

I've been in a relationship with an ISTP for about 8 months now and so far I think it's going really well. We both have similar interests and senses of humor. We need more time and space to ourselves probably more than most couples, however we see each other about three times a week and can hang out the entire day and night without getting tired of each other. Neither of us have much relationship experience, we're both a little socially awkward and anxious; for example when I told him I liked him for the first time he just looked down and didn't say anything for a good minute before he finally got up the courage to say, "I like you too." I know he likes me by his actions more than words - he always wants to snuggle, kiss or touch me in any way and when I tell him "I should probably head home" and always tries to grab me and keep me there with him for as long as he can. And we I finally do leave he'll watch me drive off and hold his hands over his heart (adorable).



So since this relationship started neither of us has used the word "love" until I finally got up the courage to say it tonight...via a text after saying good night. His response? "*snuggles and purrs* You're too awesome."

His line "you're too awesome" made me a little insecure as to how he really feels. To me that sounds like something you would say to a best friend, not a girlfriend of eight months. I'm really hoping it's just his awkwardness or fear that held him back from saying he loves me too but now there's doubt in my mind. So I wanted to get some opinions from ISTPs or those dating ISTPs about this?

[FacePalm]

never dated an ISFJ because my mom is one :D

watch MadMen If you haven't yet....Don Draper (ISTP) Betty Draper (ISFJ)

umm..how old are you two? :)

[DustyDrill]

never dated an ISFJ because my mom is one :D

watch MadMen If you haven't yet....Don Draper (ISTP) Betty Draper (ISFJ)

umm..how old are you two? :)

I don't think Don Draper is ISTP. I'd say he's ISFP or ESFP. Generally, ISTPs doesn't care enough about what other people think to succeed in advertising/sales.

Some famous ISTP characters are Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Sherlock Holmes, Lara Croft, Kumar (from Harold and Kumar), John Rambo, Alan Grant (Jurassic Park).

Oh, and to answer the original post, he's not sure if he loves you. He needs to think about it. Once you say that shit you can't take it back. He has to be sure.

[CaptainMauzer]

Continuing what Dusty said; you're boyfriend probably was not expecting you to say that to him, it caught him off guard. Give him a day or so to process how he feels.

[Laney]

What they said. With my husband, once he said I love you the entire tone of the relationship changed. I was now a permanent fixture in his life, and there wasn't any going back.

[ohtochooseaname]

He may have also just been trying to say something different than "I love you too" because that would effectively be the canned response. IMO he may have been trying to say "I love you" in a way, which was more meaningful because it wasn't the socially obligated response.

[tine]

Yeah, give him a few days. When I had someone tell me they loved me I got really embarrassed and unsure and hid away for a while becaus eI wanted to let it sink in.

[thunder]

It may take a few days for him to process it and understand his feelings, but it may take even longer. Or, he could take a few days to process it but not act upon his conclusion as to his emotions because he thinks he expresses it well enough. So I'd say don't become anxious waiting for days with the expectation he'll respond with "I love you". Even if I know I love someone, I still won't say it often.

If you had expected/want him to say "I love you", or you feel out of funk because of his response, then tell him, but don't make a huge deal out of it.

[Shrek]

I've only ever said it jokingly.

Those words sound way too formal, like asking someone to marry you, why can't we just enjoy ourselves and forget that shit?

[Charles Schwaniger]

I have never had a good experience involving me saying "I love you" in a serious tone.