I can't really get a clear picture of where we stand because his actions change from one day to the next, and I don't feel like it is a good idea to have a "talk" about it. But it is hard for me to do my awesomely accomodating thing with him because his needs seem to change. If he wants some validation and reassurance that I'm going to stick around - and he is an enneagram 6 so he probably DOES want that - then I need more stable actions from him. I can't get secure, comfortable, or bold about showing just how much I want this to work over the long term if I can't have two consecutive days of seeing that he is into it.
When he is enthusiastic it is pretty damn amazing - but then the next day he acts like he is just tolerating me, and it makes me question everything.
@DaisyChain - Does it help you at all to find out this seems to be something that happens if we spend time together two days in a row? Sometimes it also happens if I text him more than once in a day. The last time it happened with the texting I backed off significantly, and then after this last sign of him being really into the relationship I started texting again once earlier in the day. The response was good for about three days, then when we spent two days in a row together (with many hours of a break in between) he was acting very into it the first day, and the second kind of withdrawn. Still responding to me, not rude or anything, just not nearly as enthusiastic as he had been up to that point.
And I can't think of anything at all I could have done that would have made him withdraw. So I am thinking it might be an I/E thing, but how can we develop any kind of secure foundation if he doesn't really enjoy spending more than one day with me at a time? Again, I'm not talking about two days straight, just two days where we spend a chunk of our free time together. I could see myself with him for good - but not if I question his feelings this much because his actions change. I could be misreading or the changes could be about something else but I don't know that is true so I am trying to figure out how I could be contributing.
I do know that when he is tired he shows it alot, and this last time I know he was tired, but how can I be sure that these changes are due to energy levels and not due to a mood that has something to do with me? I'm a ExFx so I need lots of validation....
I am almost certain that my analysis in this thread makes me sound exhausting! I am not like this in my afk life. And once I get enough confidence in this person's desire to have me around I won't obsess. In the meantime I am too socially tuned not to notice these changes, and I put effort into relationships so I am taking it seriously. Not typically so obsessive though.