[MissFixit]

My dad is ISTJ and my mom is ENFx i think...

their marriage made it, but b.a.r.e.l.y. And it wasn't too much fun at the start. After 30 years they are happy, but that's because the kids are out of their hair and my dad has less to b*tch about.

My dad is wound so tight and is so hyper-critical. We all call him the "dream crusher". Combine that with his tendency to want everything his way, and be a neat freak, well.... it was hell.

On the positive side, he has been a rock of stability in all of our lives, both financially and otherwise. But we've learned that we just have to hide a lot of things from him so we don't stress him out too much.

I honestly don't ever want to have a relationship like my parents'.. but it was successful. :P

[Lilsnowy]

An ISTJ I knew for years was called a buzz kill, and a joy killer and a bad word by more than one person who knew him well. How sad is that? The whole world could see he had great qualities, but he made people feel accused and worthless.

I like this site because so many wonderful ISTJs are curious about themselves and want to learn about us too. I think if a loving, mature ISTJ can look at the ENFP he --or she-- loves, or is raising, and say, "Wow, she'll always be a child at heart and I can help her realize her dreams," there would be lot of happ ier people in the world. There are some very intelligent, loving, hard working, faithful ENFPs who long for someone who can cheer us on too, who will recieve our love and nourish our hearts.

Because we sure try for you ISTJs. We will be your biggest cheerleaders! We'll be very vocal about our love for you and how great you are! At least we will until we realize no amount of loving or striving will ever be enough, and then boy, will we fight! We'll even start acting like you at your worst. How sad is that? But we still might try to make it work because ENFPs have a vision of what can be, and we'll do almost anything to make it a reality, no matter how unrealistic.

[luige06]

I don't know about relationships (as I don't know of an ISTJ girls, but I do know about my dad.
We seem to clash about LOTS of things.
He prefers to get things done because they have to
I get things done because I want to
He wants me to go to college and earn money in life
I want to make music and be happy in life.
Lots of things like this.

[Halcy0n]

Same thing, just with my mom.

[anon]

I know an istj-enfp couple... they get along with each other only when there is a particular distance. But I don't think they really get each other, although they try to.

[luige06]

I know an istj-enfp couple... they get along with each other only when there is a particular distance. But I don't think they really get each other, although they try to.

But that's what we all want really.
We want somebody that can just GET us.
Or at least I do...

[sparkytheenfp]

My istj boyfriend can read me like a book, when im beginning to get emotional when i miss him (we are long distance at the moment) he will know by the tone in my voice, if he can see me on web cam he can read my face like a book; moreso, when we r together it's freaky how he can read me and my thoughts, it's like he is ultra-sensitive to it but doesnt know how to make me feel better or give me just a hug.. so Iv got used to that part and it has helped me mature and just deal with whatever im going through.
He is in tune with his cuddly lovey dovey side when we are alone, and when we are out together we act more like friends without all the cuddly stuff as he gets uncomfortable with displaying too much affection in public, and especially infront of my family. I pull him out of that though sometimes (evil grin)
I like being with him coz Im never bored, Id be bored with another feeling type..too many tears and id feel suffocated. I do like my space alot also, which suits me being with an istj.
All in all when we are together no day is boring, its more comfortable and yes he does 'get' me almost too well!!

[Graeb1]

I know an istj-enfp couple... they get along with each other only when there is a particular distance. But I don't think they really get each other, although they try to.

I'm the istj in such a couple and I can confirm what you've said.

[Sunrain]

My istj boyfriend can read me like a book, when im beginning to get emotional when i miss him (we are long distance at the moment) he will know by the tone in my voice, if he can see me on web cam he can read my face like a book; moreso, when we r together it's freaky how he can read me and my thoughts, it's like he is ultra-sensitive to it but doesnt know how to make me feel better or give me just a hug.. so Iv got used to that part and it has helped me mature and just deal with whatever im going through.
He is in tune with his cuddly lovey dovey side when we are alone, and when we are out together we act more like friends without all the cuddly stuff as he gets uncomfortable with displaying too much affection in public, and especially infront of my family. I pull him out of that though sometimes (evil grin)
I like being with him coz Im never bored, Id be bored with another feeling type..too many tears and id feel suffocated. I do like my space alot also, which suits me being with an istj.
All in all when we are together no day is boring, its more comfortable and yes he does 'get' me almost too well!!

It's like you're describing the 3 year relationship I had with an ISTJ! And I also relate to the "getting on really well when there's a distance" that other people wrote on here. My ISTJ ex-boyfriend could always tell when I was upset or happy, he could read me like a book too but he seemed to have no idea what to do to make me feel better and he found it incredibly stressful that he couldn't relate to my many levels. I love him to bits though and the relationship we had was amazing, so i think that YES, it can work :) (despite us not being together anymore :) )

[Graeb1]

It's like you're describing the 3 year relationship I had with an ISTJ! And I also relate to the "getting on really well when there's a distance" that other people wrote on here. My ISTJ ex-boyfriend could always tell when I was upset or happy, he could read me like a book too but he seemed to have no idea what to do to make me feel better and he found it incredibly stressful that he couldn't relate to my many levels. I love him to bits though and the relationship we had was amazing, so i think that YES, it can work :) (despite us not being together anymore :) )

So, did you ever tell your istj what he could do to make you feel better?