[SHISHI]

Hi all you ISTJ guys out there :)

I would like to ask you a question regarding the ISTJ guy I am with.

He often says he gets mad at me if he spends too much time with me. Now that hurts because it means something about my personality that annoys or upsets him.

For example, yesterday we went to a chairty cooking event together. He was not really into the idea but i somehow convinced him to go with me. On our way there we got stuck in traffic for a long time. I can see he started being impatient.

At the even I was chatting up with everyone and having a good time. I thought he was socializing as well because he was talking to some people on his own.

So at the end of the day he took me home around 5pm. I wanted to hangout for a bit longer but he said he wanted to be along for the night. I sensed he was not very happy so I asked him if I did something to upset him. He just said he wants to be alone.

When I got home I texted him but he did not reply. Kowning him I knew something was wrong. But I know when he wants to be alone I better leave him alone.

This morning he sent me a text saying that for some reason he always gets upset when he spends too much time with me. He is not upset anymore now. He said if I wanna talk we will talke tonight about it.

I was just like... man if me being myself upset this guy how can we ever be together as in getting married? I will be seeing him everyday and get him mad all the time!

Any suggestions ISTJ men out there? I would really appreciate your opinion!

SHISHI

[snail]

I imagine it probably has more to do with feeling overwhelmed because of excessive social stimulation than anything personal, at least from what you have revealed. Introterts need plenty of time to recharge alone, and being around people all day long can be tiring.
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[Perseus]

Hi all you ISTJ guys out there :)

I would like to ask you a question regarding the ISTJ guy I am with.

He often says he gets mad at me if he spends too much time with me. Now that hurts because it means something about my personality that annoys or upsets him.

For example, yesterday we went to a chairty cooking event together. He was not really into the idea but i somehow convinced him to go with me. On our way there we got stuck in traffic for a long time. I can see he started being impatient.

At the even I was chatting up with everyone and having a good time. I thought he was socializing as well because he was talking to some people on his own.

So at the end of the day he took me home around 5pm. I wanted to hangout for a bit longer but he said he wanted to be along for the night. I sensed he was not very happy so I asked him if I did something to upset him. He just said he wants to be alone.

When I got home I texted him but he did not reply. Kowning him I knew something was wrong. But I know when he wants to be alone I better leave him alone.

This morning he sent me a text saying that for some reason he always gets upset when he spends too much time with me. He is not upset anymore now. He said if I wanna talk we will talke tonight about it.

I was just like... man if me being myself upset this guy how can we ever be together as in getting married? I will be seeing him everyday and get him mad all the time!

Any suggestions ISTJ men out there? I would really appreciate your opinion!

SHISHI

Wear Green. See if he is the jealous type ?

[SHISHI]

I imagine it probably has more to do with feeling overwhelmed because of excessive social stimulation than anything personal, at least from what you have revealed. Introterts need plenty of time to recharge alone, and being around people all day long can be tiring.
Posted via Mobile Device

Yeah i know he said he gets mad at most people if he hangs out too much with them :P I guess Extroverts and Introverts relationship IS as challenging as many would say :(

I hate to be alone even if I don't hangout with friends I want to be where I can see other people. Stay at home on a weekend is torture for me!!!

Yesterday we talked he said when the traffic was bad he wanted me to ask the police officer if we can turn right on the light ahead, I did not really want to get out of the car in the middle of the road. So he was a bit pissed at that. Also, at the event I kept on calling him "this dude", he asked me why can't I just call him by his name. I swear I don't even recall calling him that lol.

Man how can we ever get married and live together like this?????

[SHISHI]

Wear Green. See if he is the jealous type ?

Hmmm I don't really think he is lol. Are u ? :P

[snail]

There might be other problems even after the social issues are resolved, because your spontaneity is likely to wear him out, too. SJ types tend to require a lot of planning and structure in order to feel comfortable and secure. Not having things happen according to plan can be a source of stress... like unexpectedly getting stuck in traffic when the plan was to arrive somewhere by a certain time. He will have to mentally rework all of his plans every time something changes. You may be unlikely to worry about such things and probably take life as it comes, not getting anxious over the unpredictable. Adaptability is probably easier for you than it is for him, so it will be important to empathize with his need for predictability and structure. My dad is an ISTJ, and one of the ways he expresses his love for his family is by planning out activities he knows will interest us in such detail that the experience will be optimized and we will be able to fit the most fun into the allotted amount of time. For example, he planned out what order we would have to go on all of the rides at Disneyland in order to make it to every single one over the course of a two-day vacation. If we had suddenly decided to go on one of the rides spontaneously, it would have required extensive replanning, because even having fun is a very serious business.
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[SHISHI]

There might be other problems even after the social issues are resolved, because your spontaneity is likely to wear him out, too. SJ types tend to require a lot of planning and structure in order to feel comfortable and secure. Not having things happen according to plan can be a source of stress... like unexpectedly getting stuck in traffic when the plan was to arrive somewhere by a certain time. He will have to mentally rework all of his plans every time something changes. You may be unlikely to worry about such things and probably take life as it comes, not getting anxious over the unpredictable. Adaptability is probably easier for you than it is for him, so it will be important to empathize with his need for predictability and structure. My dad is an ISTJ, and one of the ways he expresses his love for his family is by planning out activities he knows will interest us in such detail that the experience will be optimized and we will be able to fit the most fun into the allotted amount of time. For example, he planned out what order we would have to go on all of the rides at Disneyland in order to make it to every single one over the course of a two-day vacation. If we had suddenly decided to go on one of the rides spontaneously, it would have required extensive replanning, because even having fun is a very serious business.
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AHAHHAHA having fun is very serious business? that is just sooo cute :)

Yeah I guess so... I try not to stress over things I have no control of... I mean who can expect to be stuck in the traffic? If the situation is aleady stressful why should I add more stress on top of that???

Yeah i know I am VERY spotanious :D I liek to plan too but I can easily change my plan. I think life is mroe fun with the uncertainty. But i do love him for that he always keeps his words :) If he agrees to do something with me he never changes his mind :)

A good guy at heart really

[snail]

Ah, yes, the dependability is one of the major benefits. I have always loved that about my dad, and usually think of his over-planning as a cute quirk. It isn't just the ISTJs who do it. I have an INFJ friend who always lays the cheese across his crackers in a certain direction, and watches a movie on the same night every week. Routine sets boundaries that keep him from feeling out of control, but one person's shelter is another person's cage. I would feel limited by excessive order, and require more freedom. What brings him security would make me feel confined.
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[Perseus]

Hmmm I don't really think he is lol. Are u ? :P

My mistake. I have a lot of trouble managing* ISTJ types. I can't seem to understand them. I am trying to. I don't think they are very sociable types. ESFP are the opposite: social butterflies.

(*Not my best role.)

ISTJs I know are gardeners a lot of them and they work on their own. They may not show much initiative and never seem to be very enthusiastic.

I am INTP that likes people, but not all of them. The SFJs cause me trouble.

I don't get jealous very often. I am not so sure I understand it. I get so confused mostly. I get hounded by ISTJs and ESTJs and I find it extremely unpleasant. I also cross them inadvertently and this may apply to all Guardians SJ. That is because I am a NP.

Dogs ISTJ have called me a Snake ENTP and plotted against me. But other ones are completely OK. Not good as business partners with an INTP. The type relationship is:

INTP x ISTJ

Suitemate
a person one might be comfortable sharing an office. Prefer similar climates, but don't necessarily have much in common as far as goals or world view

INTP x ENTJ

Contrast
point and counterpoint on each function


I have a contrast with an ENTJ (the Boss) and we just do not get on. We leave each other in the cold.

http://typelogic.com/istj.html

[SHISHI]

My mistake. I have a lot of trouble managing* ISTJ types. I can't seem to understand them. I am trying to. I don't think they are very sociable types. ESFP are the opposite: social butterflies.

(*Not my best role.)

ISTJs I know are gardeners a lot of them and they work on their own. They may not show much initiative and never seem to be very enthusiastic.

I am INTP that likes people, but not all of them. The SFJs cause me trouble.

I don't get jealous very often. I am not so sure I understand it. I get so confused mostly. I get hounded by ISTJs and ESTJs and I find it extremely unpleasant. I also cross them inadvertently and this may apply to all Guardians SJ. That is because I am a NP.

Dogs ISTJ have called me a Snake ENTP and plotted against me. But other ones are completely OK. Not good as business partners with an INTP. The type relationship is:

INTP x ISTJ

Suitemate
a person one might be comfortable sharing an office. Prefer similar climates, but don't necessarily have much in common as far as goals or world view

INTP x ENTJ

Contrast
point and counterpoint on each function


I have a contrast with an ENTJ (the Boss) and we just do not get on. We leave each other in the cold.

ISTJ Profile

ahhhh Perseus, I hope you at least like us ESFPs :) I know i can be a bit too much sometimes :( I have alot of energy when I am happy or excited and have a hard time being calm.

The problem with ISTJ is that they keep too much to themselves :( It is very hard for those who want to be close to them to really understand them.

I do believe when my man says "I really like you, please forgive me" That is when he did something really upset me. Usually he denies like this "who says I like you?" hahah I know he is just kidding... he just cannot be all sweet and that. But as long as I know he is... I am okay... I on the other hand shower him with affection and sweet words.

But he does care... he cooks for me he helps me out on practical things and he is always always there when I really need him :)

ISTJs ahhhhh they can be very good hearted but so misunderstood :(