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This is a discussion on Interaction with other ISTJs IRL within the ISTJ Forum - The Duty Fulfillers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Originally Posted by Yardiff Bey I now have this image of Sela. She has a couple of awkward customers. She ...
I know two ISTJs, one guy and one girl. It's funny because even though their gender is different, their personalities are Very much alike. It's as if they can switch bodies and it really wouldn't make much of a difference except for the possible weirdness they'd feel lol. They both have what I perceive as very masculine personality traits. I knew the male friend before I got to know the female... so it felt very nostalgic to me as if I was getting to know the same person again except different gender & experiences in life. I think that's also what helped me get to know the ISTJ girl more easily & faster because I sort of knew how to approach her. I think if I hadn't known the first ISTJ friend before... I might have been too intimidated to approach/get to know the ISTJ girl better lol.
How I perceive at first meeting:
-prefers to keep to themselves. Don't care how others perceive/think of them. Appears aloof/stoic.
-tend not to initiate interaction unless spoken to first or required to.
-seems always busy. Tend to have a purpose for their actions & what they say. Wants to get to the point quickly.
-notices disorganization as they tend to be perfectionists.
-can be very blunt, direct, and sarcastic. Has dry sense of humor. Say what they think instead of sugarcoating.
-smart. Has a huge collection of information on what is important to them/what should be known. Confident in what they know.. aren't afraid to argue to get a point across when they know the other person is wrong.
-Practical. Tend to take things literally and not read into things.
-Very dependable & responsible. Predictable since they usually have strict schedules & routines they are comfortable with.
(their presence was sort of intimidating/cold to me. It was like they gave off a "don't bother me, I'm busy", "my time is too important to waste on you", "I don't care about you or what you think," aura most of the time). - not that that's what they actually thought, but how their actions/words came off.
Further perceptions after being acknowledged a friend:
-a very friendly & caring person. Will do what they can for you if you ask, or they see something is wrong. They worry for your safety?
-can be sensitive too, but are just extremely good at hiding it or just ignoring it by using logic. They hate appearing vulnerable but want to appear strong to others.
-perhaps they do care what people think, but only those closest to them. They don't want to hurt people they care about.
-has a silly, childish, playful side that comes out when they are enjoying themselves/interest. Just doesn't show this side unless in an appropriate setting & around the right people. Probably why they always tend to appear serious/calm other times?
-values honesty/truth/authenticity. Has so much to share and tend to be very open if you're just brave enough to ask. They will try their best to give you what they think is the right answer.
-They seem complicated because they are can be so hard to read... but really, they are very simple people who will be truthful if you just seriously ask/confront them.
-I think they show they care by Actions more than words. Perhaps that's easier for them than talking about their feelings openly.
-Nostalgic people... I think they tend to cherish their childhood memories. Past experiences are important to them.
-seems to have high standards/expectations/obligations. ("someone Should or Should Not do such and such"). Tend to have ideas in black & white.
(Not as intimidating anymore. Much more approachable & behavior softened a bit - > that could just be me though since I think they try to accommodate my personality)
I know not all ISTJs are the same, but so far that's my own experience with them. Overall, they are great people/friends if you really try and get to know them better.
Oh and I think I kinda agree with what the previous posters said. I think ISTJs need a more extroverted personality to get them to open up as they tend to just keep to themselves & not bother others. Being an introvert myself, I had to act more extroverted and take the initiative with them a lot, before they started to notice me too.
Last edited by Lunamir24; 08-27-2011 at 02:21 AM. Reason: additional information I thought of
^^ excellent observations! probably every line describes me.
i do not approach strangers, make eye contact, start small talk etc. there are people whom i have seen for years and years on a regular basis and still i never say 'hi' or crack a smile. some, after so many years, actually approach me and start making small talk... if i know i want to talk with them (of course i've been observing them for sometime to come to this decision) then we have a brief friendly (albeit a little formal) conversation. the rest gets my extremely short replies, very formal, and leave no possibility for future small talks.
those who now know me well say i'm quite a different person underneath. with people i value and respect i open up like some kind of beautiful flower. it will be rare and brief though, when i do open up. then i recoil as if from a flame and nothing really happens for a while.
as for meeting other ISTJs IRL not sure if i know any but i (used to) know some extremely difficult people... they would fit ISTJ description but then times 10 for everything! anyway, we seem polite and restrained in person but in written words there's a lot of inferred affection and understanding. i still prefer introverts.
BTW, it has become easier for me to take on roles that are not natural to me as I've gotten older.
You are gifted.
@Lunamir24 - I have gained an admiration for your insights you contribute here. I don't know you in real life, but I'm going to guess it's understanding people like you whom we ISTJs come to enjoy being around.
....but at the same time, I would probably be shocked and freaked out if certain people at my school were to gain this good of an understanding of me. My unwitting mysterious is what protects me.
Last edited by SoftBoiledLife; 08-28-2011 at 12:13 AM.