[ISTJ] Ask an ISTJ relationship question thread

Ask an ISTJ relationship question thread

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This is a discussion on Ask an ISTJ relationship question thread within the ISTJ Forum - The Duty Fulfillers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; As per the title. I think we've been getting too many variations of "what do ISTJ's xXx when xXx" and ...

  1. #1

    Ask an ISTJ relationship question thread

    As per the title.

    I think we've been getting too many variations of "what do ISTJ's xXx when xXx" and suchlike in the way of posts. With some luck people can be directed to one really, really long thread - read through it - and ask their question if it hasn't already been asked and answered.

    Who knows, if this takes off it can maybe be stickied. <_<

    Edit: Please try to keep it solidly on-topic, eh? Long-winded derails and suchlike will destroy any value. Take all potential derails to the Random thread, thanks!
    faeriegal713, Donovan, Donovan and 13 others thanked this post.



  2. #2

    General question: "How do I know that ISTJ xXx loves or likes or cares for me?" (Add variations such as "it's really confusing", etc.)

    Answer: If they are spending time with you, they love or like or care for you. We tend not to hang around people that we don't like. If we didn't like you, we wouldn't be around you at all.

    That said, we're often very busy people. We can't just drop everything in an instant to spend time with you (unless it's really important, like someone being hospitalized or killed or something). If you need help from us that badly - we are there for those who are our friends. Not so much acquaintances or those in the outer circle of our friendship.

    If you are in our absolute inner circle of friendship, we'll crawl across broken glass to help you.

  3. #3
    Unknown

    Good luck with that....
    faeriegal713, Donovan, Donovan and 13 others thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    INTJ - The Scientists

    If any new threads are created relative to this topic, we should reply with a link to this one.

    TBH, though, the redundancy of the questions won't stop if people are too lazy to use the search option to begin with. Assuming this thread gets to 500 pages or so, it will me much "harder" to search through this thread to find a question relating to yours, vs. searching thread titles.

    Not only that, but those of us who answer said questions may not necessarily keep up with all the questions, causing the wounded to create new threads anyways.

    I suppose my pessimism steams from me never checking threads i'm more than 10 pages behind on.

    All in all, I support the idea in theory... just wanted to rain on your parade ;)

    I'm going to stop rambling now. Good Luck!
    Last edited by Ryan; 07-25-2011 at 05:46 AM. Reason: Typo
    faeriegal713, hello317, niss and 10 others thanked this post.

  6. #5
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    Can a mod please sticky this so that lazy people do not have to use the search function?
    niss, Sela, petals of stone and 6 others thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I found this ISTJ description interesting and mostly focused on relationships:

    ISTJ

    Trustee/Inspector — "I Serve Truth & Justice"

    The ISTJ's word is as good as gold, and they honor their commitments faithfully. They believe that to do otherwise would be nothing less than a breach of honor and trustworthiness. Consequently, they take their vows very seriously, and once they have said "I do", that means they are bound to the relationship until "death do us apart" or otherwise. ISTJs are driven to fulfill their responsibilities and duties, and will do so with tireless effort. They will do their best to meet the obligations presented by the different relationship roles which they play during their lives, i.e. spouse, parent, offspring, etc. They may have difficulty showing warmth, but they frequently feel it in abundance, and most develop the ability to show it through sheer effort. If nothing else, the ISTJ holds the gold medal of all the personality types for Effort. They will put forth tremendous amounts of effort to accomplish goals which are important to them. If healthy relationships are among these goals, you can bet that the ISTJ will do everything that they can to foster and maintain healthy relationships.

    ISTJ Strengths

    • Honor their commitments
    • Take their relationship roles very seriously
    • Usually able to communicate what's on their minds with precision
    • Good listeners
    • Extremely good (albeit conservative) with money
    • Able to take constructive criticism well
    • Able to tolerate conflict situations without emotional upheaval
    • Able to dole out punishment or criticism when called for


    ISTJ Weaknesses

    • Tendency to believe that they're always right
    • Tendency to get involved in "win-lose" conversations
    • Not naturally in-tune with what others are feeling
    • Their value for structure may seem rigid to others
    • Not likely to give enough praise or affirmation to their loved ones

    ISTJs in Love

    ISTJs are committed, loyal partners, who will put forth tremendous amounts of effort into making their relationships work. Once they have made a commitment to a relationship, they will stick with it until the end. They gladly accept their duty towards fulfilling their role in the relationship. ISTJs are generally willing and able to do anything which they have defined as a goal. So, if maintaining a good relationship is important to the ISTJ, they are likely to have a good relationship. If they have not added this goal to their internal "list" of duties, they are likely to approach the relationship in their "natural" state, which is extremely practical, traditional, and structured.

    Romantically, the ISTJ is likely to approach intimacy from a physical perspective, rather than as a means of expressing love and affection. They usually have a problem expressing their deepest feelings, even though they may be very strongly felt. They will expect romance on a relatively scheduled basis, and are likely to honor traditions regarding gender role-playing. Male ISTJs will assert their perspective on their partners, while female ISTJs will tend to follow along with what their male counterparts want (although they will be uncomfortable with anything extremely out of the traditional norm).

    ISTJs do not feel threatened by constructive criticism or conflict situations. When faced with criticism, the ISTJ is likely to believe that their point of view is correct. They have a tremendous amount of respect for Facts, and base their opinions on known facts and logic. Consequently, they have a hard time seeing the viability of viewpoints which don't match their own. When the ISTJ gets involved in a disagreement over a point, they usually begin to attempt to recruit the other person over to their own point of view, fully believing that they are right, and that the other individual simply needs to understand the facts of the situation. In such situations, the ISTJ may or may not be right, but their confidence in their own "rightness" can shake the confidence of others involved. This habit can quickly turn conversations into "win-lose" situations, and can present a special problem in intimate relationships. While they may inadvertantly shake the confidence of their colleagues with their "I'm right" approach, the same behavior may cause serious issues within their intimate relationships. The ISTJ's constant assertion of "rightness" may send a message to their mates that they do not value their opinions. If the ISTJ has a mate with a strong Feeling preference, they may inadvertantly wreak havoc with their self-esteem, since Feeling individuals are extremely sensitive to conflict and criticism, and are especially vulnerable in their intimate relationships.

    Since ISTJs make decisions using the Thinking function (rather than Feeling), they are not naturally likely to consider their mates feelings and emotions in daily living. This may be a problem if their mates have the Feeling preference, since Feeling individuals usually expect a lot of positive affirmation, which the ISTJ does not naturally communicate to them. The ISTJ needs to remember that others may need to hear that they are loved and valued, even if the ISTJ doesn't need to hear this themself.

    ISTJs are generally very capable and efficient at most things which they endeavor. Consequently, their mates are likely to hold a good amount of respect for them. Daily concerns are likely to be well-provided for by the ISTJ. If other concerns, such as emotional needs, are pointed out to the ISTJ as important issues for their mates, the ISTJ will rise to the occasion and add the task of addressing these needs to the internal "list" of duties. Since the ISTJ is so willing to work hard at issues, and so tireless at performing tasks which they feel should be done, the ISTJ generally makes a wonderful, caring mate who is willing and able to promote a healthy, lasting relationship which is also a partnership.
    Memphisto, niss, dirnthelord and 24 others thanked this post.

  8. #7
    Unknown

    @Ryan , @General Lee

    The search function on this site is useless. I don't even bother with it anymore. I use Google instead, I just type (for example) "istj enfp site:personalitycafe.com" into there and away I go. It works a hell of a lot better.

    Curious as to the result of this particular one?
    Last edited by Stephen; 07-24-2011 at 11:06 PM.
    SamIAm, Btmangan, niss and 17 others thanked this post.

  9. #8
    Unknown

    @NaughyChimp --

    Part of this appears to come from personality page, while other parts may be from another site. It would be great if you would cite your source(s).
    Sela, Yardiff Bey, NaughyChimp and 2 others thanked this post.

  10. #9

    Actually, this is what we need. Who's up for a challenge?
    niss, petals of stone, eyeless112987 and 1 others thanked this post.

  11. #10
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by niss View Post
    @NaughyChimp --

    Part of this appears to come from personality page, while other parts may be from another site. It would be great if you would cite your source(s).
    Thanks, niss. Wasn't aware of correct protocol.
    niss, Ryan, Out0fAmmo and 1 others thanked this post.


     
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