[NaughyChimp]

ISTJs, I think, in general, commas, are regarded as implicit. I don't like being explicit. If *explicicity is what you desire (seems to me that ENFPs love verbal affirmation) then you may not find ISTJs meet this desire. Unless this is communicated to the ISTJ and they make a conscious effort to do it.



*made up word.

: ) Yes, I love me some verbal affirmation (as well as made-up words).

But as far as needing to hear that someone likes me... I regard that more as confirmation. I can understand how the ENFPish need for constant affirmation can become exhausting for others. But surely the logical ISTJ can respect that I don't want to jump to conclusions about someone's innermost feelings for me unless he states them himself. If a man never says, "I like you" or "I care about you" or "I love you" then who am I to infer what's felt in his heart?

[Yardiff Bey]

: ) Yes, I love me some verbal affirmation (as well as made-up words).

But as far as needing to hear that someone likes me... I regard that more as confirmation. I can understand how the ENFPish need for constant affirmation can become exhausting for others. But surely the logical ISTJ can respect that I don't want to jump to conclusions about someone's innermost feelings for me unless he states them himself. If a man never says, "I like you" or "I care about you" or "I love you" then who am I to infer what's felt in his heart?

Yeah, these are things that need to be said to a SO.

[Stephen]

: ) Yes, I love me some verbal affirmation (as well as made-up words).

I was having a conversation about this with my girlfriend recently. We're both naturally more action-based in expression of affection, but we both adapted to being more verbal about it due to problems with exes in previous relationships. As a result, we're now managing a comfortable long-distance relationship and are pretty good at communicating such things across the distance.

What I'm saying is that such things can be learned. An ISTJ who cares enough about you will learn how to communicate with you in your love language. You may just have to be direct about asking him to do so.

And speaking personally... the made up words are actually pretty fun.

[CallSignOWL]

To me, it seems weird to think of a male ENFP. It just seems like a feminine personality to me. But maybe I'm ignorant and they don't seem feminine?

My brother is an ENFP. Most "feeler" types seem feminine, or at least their descriptions do . He's not very feminine, but definitely needs the emotional connection/conformation thing. And wont shut up. EVER.

[Stephen]

And wont shut up. EVER.

This is how I feel about many people.

[CorgiGirl]

Here's a hypothetical situation. I'm interested in other ISTJs inputs on the idea.

Say you're friends with someone of the opposite sex. You didn't really gauge your friendship as anything more, maybe the person is very friendly in general and you chat the person up because that's what that person does. (BTW, I have met guys who act really friendly to girls but don't mean anything by it, they're just friendly people and they don't really see a gender split in friendliness like other guys do). On top of this, the person is dating someone, so you are quite sure that they are just adding you to their list of friends. But then the person dumps their SO and tells you that they dumped them for you. What do you do?

[MBTI Enthusiast]

Here's a hypothetical situation. I'm interested in other ISTJs inputs on the idea.

Say you're friends with someone of the opposite sex. You didn't really gauge your friendship as anything more, maybe the person is very friendly in general and you chat the person up because that's what that person does. (BTW, I have met guys who act really friendly to girls but don't mean anything by it, they're just friendly people and they don't really see a gender split in friendliness like other guys do). On top of this, the person is dating someone, so you are quite sure that they are just adding you to their list of friends. But then the person dumps their SO and tells you that they dumped them for you. What do you do?

Probably drop my jaw to begin with.

[Doback]

Infatuation/Lust vs Love -

This quasi-question/opinion has been inspired by some talking with R/L friends a week ago. Possibly the wrong thread for it, wth.

"How long before you should say 'I love you'?"

My personal thought is: 6+ months.

Reasoning: If it's only an infatuation/lust that the two of you have, then it will start to wane in roughly 3 months. In 6 months time you'll pretty much know that the relationship is dead, whether on your part or your partner's part. If you're both still going strong at 6 months, then it is a bit more long-lasting. The word love can then be used to describe the relationship.

Interested to know everyone else's thoughts (non-ISTJ as well).

I'll drop the L-bomb on two occasions: Wedding day, birth of my child.

Other than that, you'll never hear it from me.

[Doback]

Yeah, these are things that need to be said to a SO.

I disagree.

If those things must be said, they better have a "too" afterwards.

Just one man's opinion.

[kuropuu]

Here's a hypothetical situation. I'm interested in other ISTJs inputs on the idea.

Say you're friends with someone of the opposite sex. You didn't really gauge your friendship as anything more, maybe the person is very friendly in general and you chat the person up because that's what that person does. (BTW, I have met guys who act really friendly to girls but don't mean anything by it, they're just friendly people and they don't really see a gender split in friendliness like other guys do). On top of this, the person is dating someone, so you are quite sure that they are just adding you to their list of friends. But then the person dumps their SO and tells you that they dumped them for you. What do you do?

I actually experienced this exact situation, but with a member of the same sex. She thought that I was nice to her because I liked her, apparently she did not get the meaning of the word 'heterosexual'. In my case, it was a creepy, almost-stalker thing, but I think that if it's not it should be like any other possible relationship. Evaluate the other person, determine if it could work, and, most importantly, if you want it to work. I don't think the person should get any different treatment because of why they dumped their ex. In fact, I think it's almost a good thing, there are a ton of other ways they could have gone about it. (Trying to cheat, leading the other person on when they think they could be happier with someone else...) Unfortunately, a situation like this is almost always going to be creepy and not end well. (At least that's how it plays out in my head.)