[polyglot]

My boyfriend (of 6 years now!) has tested as an ISTJ on a couple of tests.. He has a lot of very typical ISTJ traits. He is quite stubborn, but very polite, conformist, a good citizen, usually very peaceful, everybody likes him, he works hard, is very clean and orderly, etc. He is also very self-assured and decisive, and either chose "very accurate" or "very inaccurate" on the MBTI test questions (unlike me, i'm quite indecisive)

However, he is not as boring&dull as ISTJs are supposed to be according to the description.. First of all he is highly intelligent, is very interested in politics, he studied psychology in college before becomining a graphics designer. He likes theory and explaining things with theory/graphs etc. Although he is a tradional/conservative conformist when it comes to his own behavior, he is very pragmatic and liberal when discussing things. He will never say "thiefs are bad people" but will say that we shouldn't judge them because they might have good reasons to do what they do, and that things are complex etc. etc. He is also somewhat interested in philosophy (but doesn't think there is any reason to think too much about those things).

Although he came from a religious family he is not religious at all, rather an atheist. But he doesn't talk about that/bother others about it. And would never confront his family about it (they're very nice, and wouldn't ask him about his beliefs, but if they would he would change the subject and if they kept pushing he would say he doesn't believe).

He is really interested in improving and learning more when it comes to graphics design and computers. Often trying new operating systems, programs etc. And he is very much into the latest news, especially when it comes to technology, world news, politics etc.

He also gets very enthusiastic sometimes, when talking about his job, new technology (say, the new iOS5 that was introduced a while ago), when talking about a dragon he killed in World of Warcraft etc. He almost jumps up and down with a huge smile - like a little boy! Not very typical of an ISTJ, is it?

He also has a very good sense of humor, and we understand each other and have jokes that nobody else understands, but if any of us makes a reference, we start giggle :P And he smiles a lot.

He can be very serious though, and is very practical and down-to-earth. He thinks I'm "stupid" sometimes, and can be very harsh and direct. He is very annoyed with my mess, even though I try to be better and clean more, it's never good enough for him. He is very clean and there is no mess anywhere (all my friends are jealous I have a boyfriend like that ;)

Another reason I'm wondering if he is ISTJ or INTJ is that a relationship between ENFP and ISTJ is supposed to be really bad. And ours isn't. I guess that's because he's patient, finds me very "cute" and loves me very much, and I'm usually quite easy-going (i'll go to the same restaurant every single time because that's one of the few places he'll go, even though I would like to go different places), and I'll do pretty much anything if I can do it with him ^^

He's not interested in traveling at all, nor in exploring/seeing new places. He is kind of picky when it comes to food, told me he wouldn't mind eating the same food every day, didn't like vegetables but has improved a lot during the years with me..

He is VERY independent and needs a lot of space. He has a good self-asteem and doesn't need nor like compliments nor positive affirmation. He gets what he needs socially at work and with me, and doesn't like to attend parties etc. He is "friends" with everyone at his job, but keeps them at a distance and doesn't really tell them anything. I'm the only one he is open to, but he doesn't want to tell me everything either.. If he attends a party it is because he feels he "has to", and he wants me to come with him. However, when at a party, he is fun, smiling, joking and talks to everyone. He tells me that is just a mask though and that it wears him out. He doesn't feel like he can be himself.

When there is stress at his work he gets in a very bad mood and can't stop thinking about it when home. He also doesn't sleep well and he seems to be quite depressed when it's like that. When he is in a bad mood (because of work usually) there's NOTHING I can do about it, and if I try to give him advice he gets annoyed.

In his free time he works, tries to increase his competence and learn new things, reads blogs, forums, twitter, things that have to do with his work or interests. He also plays World of Warcraft a couple of hours every day.

He is NEVER addicted to anything though, neither World of Warcraft nor coffee. He usually drinks quite a lot of coffee but has no problem going days without coffee. He also stopped smoking the day we started going out (I told him I didn't like smoking), and I really admire that!

Does this sound like an ISTJ or an INTJ? I think he sounds mostly like an ISTJ, however his idealistic enthusiasm and need for improvement/increase his competence sounds like an INTJ to me. He does not like doing repetative things with a lot of detail for a long time, and he needs to see that he is going somewhere when it comes to his career. He gets annoyed with people at his work who just do what they have to do and nothing else. He feels everyone should work hard and do their best. Always try to improve.

Also the fact that he is very interesting and funny, likes World of Warcraft, LOTR, sitcoms, South Park etc. And when into something he forgets about the time. Like, he will plan to go to bed, but find a really interesting article and he forgets all about going to bed! Not very istj? He is not happy with himself when he sleeps long (he wants to get up early every morning)and has quite high standards for himself though.. My two ISTJ (female) friends are much more happy where they are and they are more "boring", and wouldn't mind staying in their current jobs for the rest of their lives..

ISTJ or INTJ?


edit: I guess I should add that English is not my native language, so please excuse grammar/spelling mistakes and odd choice of words! Thanks! :)

[Hobbes]

He sounds very ISTJ to me. In fact, for about 90-95% of that description you could have been talking about me.

[dalsgaard]

That sounds a lot like me, actually.

[polyglot]

He sounds very ISTJ to me. In fact, for about 90-95% of that description you could have been talking about me.

Interesting :) You say 90-95% though. What is it that is different from you?

[Stephen]

However, he is not as boring&dull as ISTJs are supposed to be according to the description.

Any description that tells you that ISTJs are unilaterally boring and/or dull is biased. That's a subjective interpretation of behavior without some kind of context. I'm sure there are people who consider me boring or dull, but there are many others who do not. Their opinion does not identify my type.

He will never say "thiefs are bad people" but will say that we shouldn't judge them because they might have good reasons to do what they do, and that things are complex etc. etc.

Thieves are not bad people, simply based on the fact that they steal. One's actions may face judgment as illegal or unethical, and land a thief in prison, but that only makes a thief a person who's done something unethical and criminal, not a bad person.

He also gets very enthusiastic sometimes, when talking about his job, new technology (say, the new iOS5 that was introduced a while ago), when talking about a dragon he killed in World of Warcraft etc. He almost jumps up and down with a huge smile - like a boy! Not very typical of an ISTJ, is it?

I think anyone with great enthusiasm for a subject is able to speak about it passionately. When I get around like-minded people and we get on a topic we enjoy, it's kind of like that. The huge smile part is a bit more selective for me, I think. If something catches me by surprise and is very funny, that's when that side of me comes out.

He can be very serious though, and is very practical and down-to-earth. He thinks I'm "stupid" sometimes, and can be very harsh and direct. He is very annoyed with my mess, even though I try to be better and clean more, it's never good enough for him. He is very clean and there is no mess anywhere (all my friends are jealous I have a boyfriend like that ;)

I like things in their place, but I can procrastinate a bit on getting them there. I don't judge others for the way they keep their homes or spaces. When I shared my space with an INFJ who would rarely clean and did things that were inconsiderate of my presence, it drove me up the wall. I don't see that as a common trait for INFJs, though.

Another reason I'm wondering if he is ISTJ or INTJ is that a relationship between ENFP and ISTJ is supposed to be really bad. And ours isn't. I guess that's because he's patient, finds me very "cute" and loves me very much, and I'm usually quite easy-going (i'll go to the same restaurant every single time because that's one of the few places he'll go, even though I would like to go different places), and I'll do pretty much anything if I can do it with him ^^

Our own @niss has been married to an ENFP for a long time. A relationship between two healthy and patient human beings can succeed on the basis of individual compatibility. This particular pairing is supposed to be more challenging than some (all things being equal, of course), but no combination of types is "really bad."

He's not interested in traveling at all, nor in exploring/seeing new places. He is kind of picky when it comes to food, told me he wouldn't mind eating the same food every day, didn't like vegetables but has improved a lot during the years with me..

I had a similar experience. When I got married, I was happy staying home every day and eating the same things. Being in a relationship with someone with opposing views of these gave me an alternate perspective. It's not uncommon for ISTJs to learn and adapt, then deeply personalize these new concepts. I'm a pretty eclectic eater now, and I like to explore.

When there is stress at his work he gets in a very bad mood and can't stop thinking about it when home. He also doesn't sleep well and he seems to be quite depressed when it's like that. When he is in a bad mood (because of work usually) there's NOTHING I can do about it, and if I try to give him advice he gets annoyed.

Some people take advice as criticism of their ability to handle things on their own. I know I had to learn to listen to advice from others, and also not to give it when it wasn't asked for.

I think he sounds mostly like an ISTJ, however his idealistic enthusiasm and need for improvement/increase his competence sounds like an INTJ to me. He does not like doing repetative things with a lot of detail for a long time, and he needs to see that he is going somewhere when it comes to his career. He gets annoyed with people at his work who just do what they have to do and nothing else. He feels everyone should work hard and do their best. Always try to improve.

Like @Hobbes, I identify with this. I also don't see anything here that conflicts with the ISTJ personality descriptions I've read. I can get complacent and defend my position at work as "steady and stable," especially when considering the economy out there right now, but I absolutely want to advance, and improve myself in all areas where I can. I'm just very patient about it.

ISTJ or INTJ?

Only he can define his type for you. Anyone else would simply be guessing.

[Hobbes]

Interesting :) You say 90-95% though. What is it that is different from you?

- I don't play video games, but that is more a generational thing (I'm likely a good bit older than him).
- I don't get giddy and jump around about anything (unless I score the winning run in softball).
- I'm actually a little messier than him.
- I love to travel.
- I don't get stressed about work, and I don't bring it home with me. I mentally turn it off when I am done for the day. (I'm not sure I'm a typical ISTJ in that fashion though).

Other than that pretty much everything you say describes me to a T.

Considering the reply from @dalsgaard, perhaps it is an enneagram thing (I'm a 5w6, often associated with INTJs).

[Rhee]

Being a Sensor or an Intuitive is about how an individual perceives and processes information.
It has NOTHING to do with whether a person is 'dull/boring/intelligent/funny/competent/open-minded'.

From your description, I would say your BF is a very typical ISTJ.

Does this sound like an ISTJ or an INTJ? I think he sounds mostly like an ISTJ, however his idealistic enthusiasm and need for improvement/increase his competence sounds like an INTJ to me.

I'm an ISTJ. My GF's an INTJ. We're both information junkies heavily driven towards improvement and competence, but I'm the one with the idealistic enthusiasm.

An ISTJ and an INTJ will outwardly have very similar interests, hobbies and general temperaments. Look into cognitive functions (Si vs. Ni) for the accurate distinction.

[ChanceyRose]

@polyglot, you haven't mentioned anything in your description that indicates your boyfriend uses Ni.

How does he learn? Does he need to DO or can he pick out a general principle and apply to other situations? My boyfriend is an ISXJ. He learns by doing or by comparing something to past experiences. I learn by understanding a general theory then applying it to other things.

When you talk with him about day to day things or current events, do you find yourself wanting to follow tangents while he tries to keep the conversation in the here and now? Yesterday my BF and I were reading one of those 'what happened today in history' articles. He was more interested in following the links that were presented about each specific event. I wanted to explore how those events influenced apparently unrelated things years or decades apart.

[polyglot]

@ChanceyRose aah, I get it now! He must be a sensor then... I have an INTJ friend and when we talk the conversation always ends up in a totally different place than it started. My boyfriend gets annoyed if I don't stick to the subject, and go "what if..?" too often! I think there is often a special connection between INTJ and ENFP, but I'm very happy my boyfriend is so down to earth and practical and takes responsibility! That probably has to do with his T and J as well though..

So I guess he must be an ISTJ, also because of what the other ISTJs have said. Thanks everyone!

[ChanceyRose]

Fellow Ns are a hoot to talk with because the conversations have no rules and will end up miles away from where they started but I love the Ss in my life because they are my anchors.