[hello317]

If you don't talk to people unless you need to, do you feel slightly guilty afterwards? Have you ever reflected about this?

[MonieJ]

Lol yeah all the time afterward I always think bk on it and go ugh why am I so socially awkward?

lol happened the other day actually :

I saw a old HS acquaintance the other day and she was all happy to see me for some odd reason. We weren't all that close or anything so it was a bit weird to me , anyhow she is tellin me about her life and askin me about mine I guess catchin up or whatever but what she didn't know was that I was just tryin to get the heck outta dodge(I was in the mall O_o ). So I made up some lame excuse to leave and she was kinda bummed so I felt bad enough afterward that I added her on my fb lol.

[Wake]

If there is something I should have talked with them about. Most of the time I talk as needed.

[danmelo]

An interesting question. I wouldn't say that I feel guilty so much as regret. I often find myself lonley and wishing that I had more like minded friends, ones that are interested in talking about deep topics instead of superficial, and its always after an event that I look back and think, maybe if I just talked or engaged to some of these people they might be someone that I could be friends with. But yes, I have and do reflect about that. I actually end up having a drink or two before I go out to places with people so that I'm a little more chatty :)

[CorgiGirl]

Oh yes, all of the time.

[Yardiff Bey]

When it comes to information, I can spout out a million $300 words. They tumble out so fast they trip over each other.

Talk to a guy: "Hi. How's things. Good to meetcha."

Talk to a girl (even a plain one, heaven forbid a pretty or drop-dead-gorgeous one): *everything seizes up inside*

The regret later is soul-cutting.

[Doback]

I never feel guilty. While I am an introvert and I loathe small talk, I'm not socially inept.

@Yardiff Bey - What about women makes you so anxious?

[tnredhead]

I don't feel guilty about not talking to others. That would imply that I felt that I was doing something "bad" or "wrong" by not talking to people. There are people that have come into my life that I wish I could have gotten to know better, but that had little to do with reticence on my part and more to do with the situations involved. I've never really thought about it until you brought it up. Thanks :-).

I saw a old HS acquaintance the other day and she was all happy to see me for some odd reason. We weren't all that close or anything so it was a bit weird to me , anyhow she is tellin me about her life and askin me about mine...

I absolutely hate when this happens. It is bad when you weren't close to the person, but even worse when they treated you like crap and then think you should suddenly act like best friends for some strange reason known only to them. I don't care what is happening in your life and I know you don't care what is happening in mine. If we did care about each others lives, we'd be friends or at least acquaintances. In other words, if we cared about each others lives, we'd actually be IN each others lives.

Maybe that's just me....

[Mercer]

If you don't talk to people unless you need to, do you feel slightly guilty afterwards? Have you ever reflected about this?

Somtimes I have a mental barrier set up that prevents me from responding to people. At work there was this girl who would always greet me and I wouldn't go to far beyond a hi. At the same time therre was this guy in highschool, who I really didn't like, who I would only grunt at when he greeted me (no sylibals for you), even though I regarded these people completely differently, I treated them roughly the same.

[ISTLgal]

Oh, yes I do this too. Its the bane of my existence! Constantly comes up again and again and again. I'll go through phases where I'm more social, catch up with friends. Then I go through more introverted phases and during those times, or if I find myself alone on a Saturday night or during the holidays wanting to catch-up with someone, but not sure who to call I feel so guilty that I haven't put more effort into friendships. I found it especially difficult dating an extrovert previously who made me feel extremely guilty for not being more social. It was like I was a horrible person inside because I didn't want to hang around people all the time.

I'm dealing with this in a healthier way now, I believe. I know that I need balance in my life, I know that relationships are important and I value them and the people I know. However, I also know that I can't spend excessive amounts of time socializing because its just too draining for me, and I don't have time at the moment with university studies anyway.

I think this world is very extrovert driven, and there are expectations that we feel like we need to meet that really aren't realistic for us. Don't compare yourself to other extroverts. Be the best person YOU can be. Try to explain to your friends that you are an introvert, and its not that you don't like them, its just that you need alone time to recharge. They'll usually understand if they're good friends. Although I find I don't like doing this sometimes because people think there's something wrong with me, like I have a mental illness. When in fact I'm just more self-aware than they are. Try and find pursuits or ways of spending your time that aren't so people focused so you're being productive, and using your time wisely, and then when someone does invite you out you have the energy to spend time with them. That's all I can think of right now.

Hope you keep figuring it all out. Know that you're not alone. Its tough. Its even tough for extroverts too. I know extroverts who LOVE people, and they can't find enough friends to hang out with. This is just as frustrating for them as it is for us having too many friends to keep in touch with.