[curious0610]

There are INFJ threads about this, but didn't see one for ISTJ so thought I'd start one. =) Several of my close friends are ISTJ females, and the ISTJ males I do know don't seem like they are marrying/dating anytime soon. Of all the ISTJs I know, only 2 have had 1 long-term relationship, soooo I want to understand you guys better.

What are:
Top 5 Characteristics
Top 5 First impressions
(what would first attract you to someone/want to know them better?)
Top 5 Signs you are beginning to be interested in someone

[Caius20]

What are:
Top 5 Characteristics
Top 5 Dislikes
Top 5 Desires
Top 5 First impressions
(well, this one isn't necessarily about preference, but overall I was wondering what would first attract you to someone/want to know them better?)

Also: How do you act around someone you are beginning to be interested in but don't know well yet?

Are you sure you aren't just hopelessly attracted to us ISTJ men? ;)


Top 5 characteristics... hmmm....

Music

I really love a woman that I can share my love of music with. We don't have to have the same taste in music, but, music is one way that I communicate how I am feeling at any given time. She should be into that.

Intelligence/thirst for learning

This one is big for me. I don't really care WHAT topic it is that she is into, but being into a science, or an art, or something intellectual is super hot. I seem to lately have a thing for Biology girls, though.

Open/adventurous

I am pretty blunt, and open to talking about anything and everything whether or not it is socially acceptable. I like to go on hikes, and be outdoorsy. When I am out in the wild, I kind-of go wherever I feel like. She should want to follow me on my journeys!

punctual, on time, etc

There is nothing more annoying than people who can't speak, can't type, and aren't on time! ughhh!

in tune with their emotions.

Since I am so slow, and dumb about my emotions, I much prefer people that are in-tune with these things.

Top 5 dislikes:

I highly dislike disorder in my home, so she should be neat and tidy.

I dislike drama, but this dislike is in direct conflict with the usual women that I date. I guess it makes my life less boring. haha.

I dislike women that let me walk all over them. Gender roles does not mean door mat. Telling me when I am being an ass will piss me off, but I will respect you for it.

I can't think of more.

Top 5 Desires:

Their desire, or what I would desire in them?

Hmm... Things that I would be attracted to in a first impression:

Honestly, how you hold yourself as a woman attracts me. If you're hunched over, and looking around meekly, I'm likely not to notice you. If you stand up straight, push your chest out, and walk with confidence I will notice. You don't have to be a super model to be noticed. Also, if you aren't a social butterfly, I am even more likely to notice you. For whatever reason, I am attracted to the quiet, confident type girls. It makes me want to go, grab you around the waist and pull you off into the corner for an actual meaningful conversation leading to an even more meaningful night...

Hmm... What else? I notice if you over-do it on the makeup. Make it natural. Don't dress like a slut. Accentuate yourself, by all means, but don't show me everything... see the adventurous quality that I have above? That is an adventure all of its own.

How do I act around someone I am interested?

Well, I would go and talk to them more often, have a brighter smile for them, touch them more often, ask them to hang out, etc. I'm really not subtle about it. haha.

[niss]

There are INFJ threads about this, but didn't see one for ISTJ so thought I'd start one. =) Several of my close friends are ISTJ females, and the ISTJ males I do know don't seem like they are marrying/dating anytime soon. Of all the ISTJs I know, only 2 have had 1 long-term relationship, soooo I want to understand you guys better.

What are:
Top 5 Characteristics
Top 5 Dislikes
Top 5 Desires
Top 5 First impressions
(well, this one isn't necessarily about preference, but overall I was wondering what would first attract you to someone/want to know them better?)

Also: How do you act around someone you are beginning to be interested in but don't know well yet?

Well...you're runnin' off all the ISTJs 'cuz you're asking a lot of questions! To answer all them questions would feel like I'm writin' a novel.

I'll just give you a random sampling.

I look for clean, neat, classy, open attitude, and a nice smile. While I appreciate punctuality, organized, and got-it-together type people, I find that they make better friends than mates. If we're both wired the same way, one of us is superfluous.

They're gonna have to have similar values and life goals that compliment mine.

I don't wanna listen to a lot of idle chatter. If ya got something to say, then say it. But don't prattle on and on. Use your girlfriends for that thinkin' out loud stuff.

How I act around a person depends on the vibes I'm getting from them. I'd be more aggressive in pursuing the relationship if they were shy. If they are more forward, then I'm backing off and watching a little.

HTH

[curious0610]

Caius20:
I wouldn't say hopelessly attracted, maybe just attracted... well.maybe.just.a.bit.hopelessly.attracted. ;) Lately, I've had the chance to encounter ISTJ men, and it was definitely a different experience then with my ISTJ female friends/guy acquaintances from youth. You all intrigue me. I like the confidence.

Niss63:
I'll take out some of the questions, I definitely don't want to be running off all the ISTJs! And yes that helps :)

-I'm just perplexed at what to do! I've known ISTJs for such a long time, but this time it's so different. I'm interested. I'm intrigued. but I don't know where to go from here. I'm on the reserved/formal side. Definitely not forward, but I did ask him a question related to something (to see his reaction), and he seemed to back off and talk really quietly (which surpised me). Should I "drop a hanker-chief" or what would give you the signal that it's OK to start pursuing? I think I might have a crush on someone....

[Obstructions]

Uh..what Niss said, but also with a mind of common sense, and ability to make compromises.

[Caius20]

Ahhh! That's what you were driving at. Why didn't you ask before???

Personally, I just pretend that all women love me until proven otherwise. =P

But, it really depends on what you're willing to do. If he isn't showing any signs that he is into you, it doesn't mean that he isn't! You need to show some interest in him. Maybe touch him lightly but tapping his arm or something. If you haven't done that before, I am sure he would notice. I can almost always remember the first time someone touches me. Smile at him. Ask him about his life.

If you're really daring, ask him out for a coffee or something! I'm sure that's what you want anyway. =) Or, if you aren't as daring, be flirty and say that he should take you out sometime, if he's a good boy. I know that *I* love the hunt. And what is more provocative than someone saying "Tag. YOU'RE IT!" with a flirty, sexy undertone? =)

Honestly, the INFJ girl in my life (man oh man I wish she'd break up with her boyfriend...) is the one to initiate almost everything. Whenever I try to, she is busy. She always comes to me when she wants to hang out.

[niss]

Caius20:
I wouldn't say hopelessly attracted, maybe just attracted... well.maybe.just.a.bit.hopelessly.attracted. ;) Lately, I've had the chance to encounter ISTJ men, and it was definitely a different experience then with my ISTJ female friends/guy acquaintances from youth. You all intrigue me. I like the confidence.

Niss63:
I'll take out some of the questions, I definitely don't want to be running off all the ISTJs! And yes that helps :)

-I'm just perplexed at what to do! I've known ISTJs for such a long time, but this time it's so different. I'm interested. I'm intrigued. but I don't know where to go from here. I'm on the reserved/formal side. Definitely not forward, but I did ask him a question related to something (to see his reaction), and he seemed to back off and talk really quietly (which surpised me). Should I "drop a hanker-chief" or what would give you the signal that it's OK to start pursuing? I think I might have a crush on someone....

Talk to him. Don't follow around like a lost puppy, but when you're together, talk to him. Everyone, regardless of type likes to talk about themselves and their interests. Get him talking and you'll learn all you need to know. In order to share, he needs to feel safe, so your conversations need to be in an area where he feels comfortable, like it's his territory.

A nice warm smile and an open, sincere attitude will surely get his attention. Words of affirmation--if you appreciate how he handled something, or a job well done in a common area of interest, can go a long way to an ISTJ feeling appreciated. Translated: He'll want to hang out with you more.

A caution about what Caius advised--touch only if you know that your relationship is warm enough that he'll feel ok with touching. Unexpected touching can be a turn off, as can touching before he is ok with it.

Let the games begin!

[curious0610]

Thanks for the input everyone :)

[Wake]

Have good timing in our lives. We do things according to a plan and may not feel we have the resources to give to a gf, you know time, money, emotions(lol).

A conservative look, positive attitude, and be the initiator. Don't be afraid to push yourself on an ISTJ just a bit because the process may seem a bit awkward as though hes not interested, if you don't.

I find I don't always recognize when the right time to let my emotions play a primary role in decision making so to touch on that instinctual side is something which helps open up to possible mates.

[Johnnyguitarman]

The top five things I like in women are what i call the 5 B's :-

Brains
Boobs
Bum
Beauty
Breedabillity Potential.

OK, the last one is BP, but let's not mention BP right now HUH??