[niss]

My ISTP boyfriend's dad is an ISTJ and he never says thank you to his son. I know it hurts him that his dad never expresses any gratitude for the help, chores and work that he does around the house. He tries so hard to make his dad proud, and he must be because his son is an amazing person, but he never expresses it.
Is that an ISTJ thing as well?

Unfortunately, yes. We are stoics personified. Therefore, praise for anything considered normal duties feels fake and unnecessary to us. We don't expect praise for those things and we don't normally give praise for them.



It is something we have to work to overcome. Some times, we seem to be so complacent in our ISTJness that we don't see what we are missing.

[niss]

Yes, my Dad is also an ISTJ and I have always had difficulty getting on with him, when I try to help him out, even now, I just get =nothing but criticism.

That is so true...when we are unhealthy, we can become so focused and hyper-critical that someone can wash the dishes and clean the kitchen, doing an overall great job, and what we say first is "You missed a spot on the counter."

[Sela]

Personally, I do thank the bus driver, unless the bus driver was rude or drove badly, but it costs nothing to show appreciation for someone doing their job well. The next time I ride on that bus, the driver might just have remembered me and if I need to know which stop, etc if I am going to a different place than before then he might be more willing to be helpful and be friendly himself by way of reciprocation.

In the past, I used to live in the city (and didn't have a working car at the time) and rode the bus frequently. Anyway, while I don't feel like they're going "above and beyond" when they (for instance the bus drivers) just get you to the stop you want to get off at, I have always still thanked them.

... and one day I was repaid in kind. It was the middle of winter, I was six months pregnant, and got fired (illegally, but that's a story for another day) from the job I had at the time. It was THE LAST BUS of the day, and instead of just driving to the terminal and parking the bus (and leaving me to my own devices to trudge through the snow about a mile to my apartment) he actually deviated from his route and dropped me off right in front of the building.

I'll never forget that, even though I no longer live in the city (and live too far away to catch ANY bus).

[Svidrigailov]

I have always thanked them for their services. Yes they are doing there job but it's nice to give them a pat on the back. I'm sure most of you would appreciate someone thanking you for simply for doing their job.

Also, does the logic of not thanking someone because they are only doing their job apply to everyone?
Would you not thank a Soldier for his services in defending your liberty because it is his job to do so? Or a Police Officer for simply doing his?

If he wasn't just doing his job then you may not have been able to get a bus or a taxi to your destination.
That's the way I tend to think of it.

[Mercer]

My ISTP boyfriend's dad is an ISTJ and he never says thank you to his son. I know it hurts him that his dad never expresses any gratitude for the help, chores and work that he does around the house. He tries so hard to make his dad proud, and he must be because his son is an amazing person, but he never expresses it.
Is that an ISTJ thing as well?

i dont say thank you ever, my dad used to drive me to work and he would say "i haent heard one fucking thank you out of you since we started this". which is true but he dosnt need to be a baby about it.

[Mercer]

I have always thanked them for their services. Yes they are doing there job but it's nice to give them a pat on the back. I'm sure most of you would appreciate someone thanking you for simply for doing their job.

Also, does the logic of not thanking someone because they are only doing their job apply to everyone?
Would you not thank a Soldier for his services in defending your liberty because it is his job to do so? Or a Police Officer for simply doing his?

If he wasn't just doing his job then you may not have been able to get a bus or a taxi to your destination.
That's the way I tend to think of it.

well, on that note, police officers and soldiers are warriors, the march into gunfire and face the greatest enemy any human could ever face, another humans irrational agression.

[NeedsNewNameNow]

I've never felt obligated to say thank you, but I've done my time in those customer service jobs, and at least those people who showed a little gratitude helped make it just a little more bearable. (especially when you have to deal with some difficult people, the appreciative ones are so much better. So now I routinely thank people, just to hopefully do the same.

[Svidrigailov]

well, on that note, police officers and soldiers are warriors, the march into gunfire and face the greatest enemy any human could ever face, another humans irrational agression.

Regardless of their bravery, the thread title is 'I dislike thanking someone for doing what they're supposed to do'. Soldiers and Police Officers are only doing what they are supposed to do. Serve and Protect. But that doesn't mean that they don't deserve our gratitude.

That was the point I was making. The Bus Driver or Taxi Driver may not put themselves in the Danger Zone everyday. But their services are still invaluable. Many people rely on them and without them, those people may not be able to travel over longer distances.

[Time to Paradox]

If he wasn't just doing his job then you may not have been able to get a bus or a taxi to your destination.
That's the way I tend to think of it.

But it's his obligation to fulfill his duty or else he gets fired. Most people are really just doing it for their salary.

But I see where you're coming from and I understand that I should be, perhaps, more lenient to what others do for me, even if I see it only as what they should be doing. It makes me uncomfortable to do so, but I'll try to thank people when I can as, I won't lie, I do feel a certain happiness when others thank me for a job well done.

[Frannyy]

... yeah what's wrong with saying 'thank you'?? I say thank you all the time, it's one of my favorite things to say to people!!... you should be thankful that there is even a taxi driver to drive you to where you need to be on time and provide service to make your day run smoother