It wasn't until yesterday that I actually thought about the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence. When I thought about this distinction, I immediately realized what has been a problem of mine the entire time.
Iíve often been recognized or complimented for my thoroughness, strong will and intelligence. I havenít always had high expectations of myself, but I always managed to surprise myself and surpass what I was thought I was capable of doing. I always managed to stay faithful to my will and have always been able to put myself into a task Ė be it for myself or others.
All of these success stories have led to me having a decently high self-confidence, because Iím now fairly certain of what I can expect of myself. I know I can achieve almost anything realistic I put my mind to. My confidence is high Ė ďnow, why am I not truly happy with the person I am?Ē Iíve been thinking. Shouldnít I be very happy for the gifts Iíve been given? I definitely am, but I just feel like that there is something missing.
Getting a compliment is nice, but if this compliment is always based on my practical skills, it gets old. It boosts my confidence every time, but my self-esteem is left rather untouched. It seems like ISTJs are to be appreciated for our practical skills and thinking, but how does that build self-esteem? Iím a very practical and concretely thinking person, but I just donít feel that my practical behavior helps others appreciate me for who I am, and not what I do.
What are your thoughts?