[MBTI Enthusiast]

I read something about this pairing that described it as "the irresistible force vs. the immovable object". I was crushed in between these forces as my parents were both ISTJs.

There was constant conflict, neither understanding how the other could possibly have an alternate opinion or way of doing things or different priorities. Some of the conflict was overt, a lot ended up being passive aggressive undermining each other, especially my mom was very passive aggressive. They had a very traditional household and value system so Dad was unquestionable head of household and Mom was expected to basically serve and obey, which she seemed comfortable with in theory, except when she could never get her priorities heard I got the sense that her spirit was being oh so slowly and steadily crushed, strangled, smothered, and blotted out. She almost never showed any emotion (except for bursts of "Just do it! Now! Because I said so!" type anger usually at my younger sister) but my sister and I have both accidentally caught her silently crying and whispering "I hate my life".

My parents stayed together because of their traditional values and what I consider a very misguided sense of loyalty. I think everyone would have been better off if they divorced. I know for a fact in his own words that my father resented my mother more than any person in his life shortly before he died. They disagreed on the best course of action for his terminal disease, and her way of caring was to try with all her might to get him to do the "right" course of action, and he despised her for it. And he needed her, and needed validation from her, but couldn't communicate that in any positive way. I have never seen two people more loyal and caring to each other in such a bizarre and destructive way.



Sorry to be so depressing.

I'm curious to know their enneagram types. She sounds 9-ish in a way.

[MBTI Enthusiast]

Mine didn't work out only because we turned from lovers into roommates who happened to share the same interests. The boring and the routine crept in.

I see you're a 9! Curious. Do you know her enneagram type?

[Ryan]

Oh what I've learned in the past three months... this is embarrassing.

[dugger11]

I would like everyone's opinion on this, especially any ISTJ girls. Do you think an ISTJ male- ISTJ female would be able to have a romantic relationship? Could they keep it going? Why or why not?

My opinion is that yes, they [or ANY type] has the potential to get into a relationship, however, my lack of knowledge on ISTJ girls make me wonder if they could keep the relationship going. It also depends on their values and how "healthy" their mental state is. However, there are other people I have talked to who say it just can't be done.

As an ISTJ female married to an ISTJ male, yes.

[MBTI Enthusiast]

From my experience, they work very, very well when you are a Female 9 and your partner is a Male 6.

[demonicgod92]

when your wallet always has money in it (from being over conservative)

[DaisyChain]

Someone put a poll here a couple of months ago - "which type would you most like to be in a relationship with?" or something, and I put down ISTJ because that's the sort of person I like. But when I think about the actual ISTJs I know in real life, I'm dubious. I see in them the things that I don't like about myself - not a people manager, not a good judge of character, not good at making connections with people.

[Marie Claire]

I know of an ISTJ couple that was married for thirteen years and then divorced. He was a type 9 and complained that his wife was too negative and critical. He also mentioned that she had never once said that she was sorry while they were together. He had a problem with her wanting to arrive at least half an hour early for appointments and thought that she wasn't affectionate enough. I think that her love language was acts of service because she told him when they split that he should have done things around the house without being asked. I also got the feeling that there was some passive agressive behavior on his side.

[MBTI Enthusiast]

I know of an ISTJ couple that was married for thirteen years and then divorced. He was a type 9 and complained that his wife was too negative and critical. He also mentioned that she had never once said that she was sorry while they were together. He had a problem with her wanting to arrive at least half an hour early for appointments and thought that she wasn't affectionate enough. I think that her love language was acts of service because she told him when they split that he should have done things around the house without being asked. I also got the feeling that there was some passive agressive behavior on his side.

Type 9 + Type 1 perhaps?

[kamali.senior]

I am a type 2 xNFP. I was with an ISTJ for years and I loved her so much. She was a cheater though...She was never open about her feelings, and was stubborn in some of the stupidest ways. She had lupus, and I told her we could get married and I would take care of her and I even found her a job in San Diego at the Naval hospital and she flaked on me... we were in an open relationship for our last year together to combat the loneliness at her request and I gave her everything she wanted but it still wasn't enough. I went back to Atlanta to see her and she went through my phone when we were together and she told me she didn't want to share me... so I went and cut everyone off ...when I went back home to SD where she could not watch me and I never cheated on her and begged for her to come to San Diego cause she was so unhappy and she never came. She cheated on me and I left her. I loved her completely and she just cheated on me and then turned around and tried to talk about it and justify it. I can't take anyone in my life that doesn't respect me. And you can't tell someone you love them and then do something like that