[rawr_sheila]

I want to know if it is a common trait of ISTJs to be cold. I haven't read any profiles that state or describe ISTJs as cold, but I know it must be a stereotype. I've read lots of threads and seen many posts that describe us being cold. Esp the girls; we are ice queens.



Under what circumstances do you behave this way?

How often do you show this?

How do you get rid of this coldness?

Any other thoughts?

[The NF Expert]

While I'm not an ISTJ, I wouldn't say that ISTJs are cold. Both of the ISTJs that I know (my father is an ISTJ, and I also know a girl at college who's an ISTJ (though she might be INTJ)), I would actually say that they are quite warm. Maybe not as warm as other types might be, but warm in their own way. Both of them are somewhat distant than other people and other types that I know, but (my dad especially), is quite sociable and friendly with everyone that they interact with. They are both light hearted, curious, and happy to have a conversation with someone. (Of course, this doesn't mean that other ISTJs aren't cold, just that the ones I know aren't. XD). My dad is a bit cool with me if we have a disagreement about something though.

So, while I'm not an ISTJ, I hope I was able to add to the discussion some.

[ParfaitMan]

The ISTJs I know have great senses of humor!

I don't know if all ISTJs are like this, but one peer of mine is insistent on rules. He often tries to enforce his own ethical code without explaining why something is right or wrong. I certainly don't mind people being cold (ISTP, hello) but I find my friend's behavior pretty irritating.

My dad is an ISTJ, and he is probably the coolest being on the face of this entire planet. I know people of all 16 personality types, and my dad is by far the coolest. Seriously. Everyone who meets him falls in love with him. He's one of the warmest people I know, and he's quite a charmer.

[ISTLgal]

Firstly, lets define cold...(my understanding of it)

Lacking curiosity, lacking outward appearance of excitement or joy. Flat affect. Disinterest in others, more self-contained and self-interested. Unfriendly. Generally seriousness.

Under what circumstances do you behave this way?

If I'm tired, have no energy, busy, not feeling confident in myself or if I'm not sure about the person I'm interacting with. I'll appear cold if I'm anxious. I'm cold towards my family members in that I don't often show those social niceties like saying 'I'm home' or 'have a good' day. I just hate doing that stuff and I figure my family know me well enough to be able to put up with that - however, it gets on my mums' nerves. Everyone else is fine with it.

How often do you show this?

As often as the above circumstances are taking place.

How do you get rid of this coldness?

Force myself to smile if I think the people I'm around are worth it. This is generally in everyday interactions - I'll also force myself to talk to them and make polite conversation. This does require much effort though. I don't think Fe users often appreciate how much effort we really put into this.

Any other thoughts?

It's how we are. We are serious - externally. We don't show our emotions (what we're feeling on the inside) on the outside and many times people can mistake this for us being robotic and cold, but it's not true. Just because we like to hide our feelings doesn't mean we have none. We have an abundance of feelings, but expressing those is just not our forte. It feels awkward. This can be hard for extroverted, especially extroverted feeling types to comprehend. I try to make-up for this by being conscious when I'm aware extroverted feeling types to display more of my emotions outwardly, and to reflect their warmth..I'm a bit of a cameleon. Sometimes this confuses friends if I often respond to them in different ways and I'm having a conversation with both at the same time!

[SuperDevastation]

I only know 1 ISTJ (one of my grandmas) and she's pretty cold and rather selective with who she loves, which isn't good.

[Andrew Wilson]

Under what circumstances do you behave this way?
cold? when I don't wear a jumper to class :P
Probably when I'm stressed out


How often do you show this?
I don't get stressed out that often, maybe for a few days in a month.. but it is pretty rare


How do you get rid of this coldness?
It helps when I remember to step back and realise that the future hasn't happened yet and all I have is the present : )
and when I remember that I should stop for a moment and really try and take in how a person is feeling and understand what they are saying before saying anything too harsh or making judgements and it also helps to keep thoughts to yourself if the urge comes to tell anybody to do anything or 'what they are doing is wrong and this is precisely why'

Any other thoughts?
ISTJ's might come across as being cold but I doubt that is the conscious effort. Being a 'cold' person isn't how we are wanted to be seen, we don't want anybody to hate us and we also don't want to be hating others. Well, that could be my perspective.. but I definitely don't want to be seen as cold, to anybody.. ever.

Cliche's start with a grain of truth and stereotypes with a boulder. Basically, I think that most ISTJ's just need to clean their window's, let the light in and start challenging their own assumptions. : )

[Yardiff Bey]

Under what circumstances do you behave this way?
Usually when I've had enough of someone. Not just a small snit with them, when I'd like to take a chainsaw to them and slice them into a billion parts.

How often do you show this?
Far too much recently. *sigh* Depends how often that I get really "done" with people.

How do you get rid of this coldness?
By avoiding those who bring it on. IE cutting someone out of my life, permanently.

Any other thoughts?
I don't think that you'd like my thoughts right now. Especially given that I'm about to cut a couple out of my life, permanently. I can do without their stress and drama and manipulative BS.

Though I am a little sad about the guy of the couple. He's a good guy, just doesn't realize how fucking evil his girl is. Wilfully blind...

[Ama]

Under what circumstances do you behave this way?

When I've had enough. When my boundary is met.
When I see, people use me as their trashcan for their victim-BS.
When someone does not pay me the respect I, as a human being, deserve.
When someone truly shows he thinks he is better than me.
... and so on. A lot of things, related to arrogance, ignorance, inconsiderateness, injustice, yada yada yada

How often do you show this?

Very often in my job. Because natural science is a realm of assholes, trying to compensate their shitty lives. (Of course, there are many cool people, but at the moment, the majority I see are idiots.) Especially in physics you can find socially awkward people that otherwise wouldn't have a job and a glimpse of a life, if this field of work wouldn't have been established.

How do you get rid of this coldness?

It is very hard. I vent. I draw boundaries. I make my point. I keep close to the mentally stable people in my job ( like three at the moment) and try to get away as far as possible from the morons.

And it drains me totally to fight that behaviour, I encounter.

Any other thoughts?

The coldness is actually a severely factual state, set up as a distinct mantle of protection. If I would involve my feelings everyday in that surrounding, I would have become a serial killer, a very devious one.

[Holgrave]

Oh, I'm very cold. Didn't you hear? I have Asperger's.

Okay, seriously though.
Under what circumstances do you behave this way?
I'm honestly not sure. My sister comments on it a lot though. So, I guess that's my neutral state, especially in social situations where I don't know anyone.

How often do you show this?
I assume most of the time. I have one of those mouths that looks like I'm always frowning, so, I have to be really happy or find something really amusing in order to break that "frown."

How do you get rid of this coldness?
Just start talking to me. I'm quite friendly, just asocial. I think people are usually surprised once I start talking.

Any other thoughts?
I have several thoughts, but none pertaining to the subject, so I'll just leave it at that.

[Owfin]

Under what circumstances do you behave this way?

Not many. I can be very analytical but I almost always give off an impression of being "warm" (yet still very stereotypically T-ish-I'm weird like that). Usually only when I'm pissed off.

How often do you show this?

Rarely, as detailed above.

How do you get rid of this coldness?

Calming down.

Any other thoughts?

When I am cold I get very "sharp". I have an unnerving edge to my voice that sounds like I'm about to explode at you.