Whatís it like to be you?
I think for the most part I try to make my life pretty structured, and one thing that other people can depend on is that I have a very strong sense of duty.
Iím a team player but I work best with some time alone. I like it when everything is laid out and I can just concentrate on doing the job. I hate it when I donít know where I am going, and I like feedback so I know Iím on the right track. If part of the job entails ambiguity, thatís fine just as long as the goal is to reduce ambiguity. I like being financially secure with the bills paid on time so my family can enjoy the things that we like to do. I like to have a fallback plan. I do like to laugh and have fun too, but work is more important to me, and then I make my little jokes. I always think I have to get my work done before I can go out or go home, when I can just sit down and relax without anything hanging over my head. I take responsibility seriously, and if Iím going to put my name on something, my desire is to insure itís as good as it can be.
A sense of right and wrong is extremely important, and I will not just stand by and watch people doing things wrong. It really tears me apart. I tend to want things in order and people doing the right things. I want to have some rules. I always wanted to please people, and a safe environment to me is where I donít have to compete with anyone elseís wishes. If I get into a situation where I feel very strongly and canít articulate the words or canít win, I just donít say anything. I tend to put up with conflict rather than deal with it. I try to deal with stress, but I am not necessarily a good confronter. I would like to be more of a stress avoider.
I find myself duty bound sometimes and find that I do things because of whatís expected of me. People can trust and count on me, and I am very dependable, almost to a fault. I strive to keep balance between work and home, and if Iím going to provide for my family Iím going to have to swallow some things at work. When I see families that really want to be together, thatís a relationship that those people worked at for many years to achieve. Being a friend means caring enough about an individual to call them to see how they are doing, and if I can see someone has held true to their word, then theyíve probably gained my trust. If you were to ask me to define the word love, you would get responses like caring, responsibility, and loyalty.
I am a very private person and I donít like a lot of attention. Although I enjoy being with people, observing them, and just being a part of the group, I really like some solitude. People who donít know me perceive me as pretty formal and rigid, and then Iíll get out of character and people donít know how to deal with that. They misinterpret my subtle sense of humor. I do have some ability to improvise every once in a while. I take a lot of pleasure in the simple things.
With a problem, I will try to look at all the parts and line them up to insure I donít miss something. I have to force myself to look at the big picture and solve it before I can say, ďYes, this is going to work.Ē Iím not the idea person, but if I have experience I will give my opinion about how I think it should be done. If itís new, I am very much apt to sit back and take it all in and sit on it and think about it. I try to catch myself, but itís so unnatural for me to see the good side of things, and turning around my perspective takes a lot out of me. I want a rock-solid case for why I feel the way I do. A lot of my ideas are very practical, not theoreticalóthe down-to-earth stuff people really need to know. Sometimes when people donít see my point, I tend to withdraw or stand back.
I canít stand people who donít care for others, who are irresponsible or rude, who shoot their mouth off without knowing what they are talking about or who donít do what they are supposed to do and want something for nothing. I especially canít tolerate people who donít take other peopleís time or privacy into consideration.
I get up in the morning and do my routine. And I take time at the end of each day to try to plan whatís happening the next day, what Iím going to be working on first, second, third, and so on through out the day, to eliminate the unexpected. Sometimes I might carry a book or something in case I have to wait somewhere. That makes life easy and full. Stability is important to me and change may not be that easy, but variety is good too. I seek advice when I need to change.