[ISFJ] ISFJ vs ISTJ - major differences and subtleties

ISFJ vs ISTJ - major differences and subtleties

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18
Thank Tree23Thanks

This is a discussion on ISFJ vs ISTJ - major differences and subtleties within the ISFJ Forum - The Nurturers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; So I have a friend who insists she's an ISTJ but my ENTP husband and I agree she's an ISFJ. ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    ISFJ vs ISTJ - major differences and subtleties

    So I have a friend who insists she's an ISTJ but my ENTP husband and I agree she's an ISFJ. I've studied MBTI for nearly four years and am passionate about while she's read it for an hour. See, the problem is she is mixing up "emotions" with feelers when I tried to explain to her that that has nothing to do with feelers vs thinkers. She insists she's uncomfortable with peoples feelings and that she's not overly emotional. She also claims to over analyze everything which makes her a "T".
    But the evidence points to her being ISFJ - she's volunteers 70hrs a month, brought me soup after my surgery, has taken care of an ill woman for a month at her home, etc.

    I opened up "Gifts Differing" by Isabel Briggs Myer and read to her the differences of F vs T..... At the end of our 45 minute discussion she said "Are you mad? I don't want you to be sad or mad at me for talking about this so long. I am open minded to re-take the test." I asked, "Why would you care if I was sad or mad? Only a feeler would care to that extent."

    You see, I think that many ISFJs can be mistaken for ISTJs because of their loyalty to authority and rules. Consideration/Loyalty for rules and authority can override people/relationships at times which may make the ISFJ appear heartless or cold.
    Even my ENTJ father-in-law who used to teach MBTI in the military was mistaken for his wife to be an ISTJ but really she's an ISFJ (who readily agrees to this).

    .... anyway what are some stark differences that you guys notice between you ISFJs and ISTJs? Did any of you guys mistaken yourself for ISTJ then later realized you were an ISFJ?

    Thank you for your help! :)



  2. #2
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    It's funny that you mention this, because I was just having a conversation with my ISTJ sister about this. We get along so well, it's shocking. We're very similar, and we have similar experiences in social situations. Our thought processes and ideologies are nearly identical, so I can definitely see why it's easy to mistype us. A few key differences, though:

    1) She has difficulty expressing her emotions sometimes. Not that she doesn't know how to identify the emotion, but she feels uncomfortable saying it explicitly to people. As an ISFJ, I freely tell people if I admire them or love them, and I have no problem whatsoever in explaining my emotions to other people.

    2) She has a much higher tolerance for criticism and conflict than I do. I can't stand either, and I'm easily hurt by criticism (even if it's constructive). She's able to tune out conflict and hurtful comments, which I can't do -- I start crying in either situation, embarrassingly enough.

    3) Deadlines and time management come a lot more easily to her than they do to me. I am awful at managing my time myself, due to a lack of super strong self-discipline, although if structure (i.e. an agenda) is imposed on me, I love it and thrive under it. I hate deadlines because I always find myself doing the work the night before (I'm a notorious procrastinator), but that's not her at all.

    Hope that helped!
    renna, chimeric, DeadMilkman and 2 others thanked this post.

  3. #3
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    Remember that neither are really dogmatic about F or T, though it can be hard to see that if they use it to defend their Si understanding. But if you look at ESTJ vs ESFJ, then you will see a huge fundamental fight over T and F. Doesn't mean they can't get along or agree on things, but their reasoning in arguments won't hold much value to either one, whereas ISFJs can more easily see the value of T and ISTJs can more easily see the value of F. Of course, if you have ISJs bump into an N dominant...
    teddy564339, renna, Jawz and 1 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    You should get her to read descriptions of Fe, Te, Fi, Ti. That should theoretically clear up the misunderstanding rather quickly.

    For the most part it does sound like she's a feeler given her focus on other people even if it makes her uncomfortable (That's more to do with personal experience and history). However, it could be possible that it's how she was brought up to behave.
    renna thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by flight97 View Post
    As an ISFJ, I freely tell people if I admire them or love them, and I have no problem whatsoever in explaining my emotions to other people.
    I've seen her and even tell me how much she cares for me, misses me or loves me. Good point - Fi cannot explain feelings very well whereas Fe can.

    I start crying in either situation, embarrassingly enough.
    She cries frequently.... or has been known too ( I think she's gotten her hormones in check since then though. Her hormones were unhealthy high on estrogen.) but yet does not think she's overly emotional now... Yet when I was giving her criticism about how she doesn't fit into the Te mold of an ISTJ - she started getting frustrated and saying "I'll retake the test" - harmony conflict aka her Fe taking over.

    3) Deadlines and time management come a lot more easily to her than they do to me. I am awful at managing my time myself, due to a lack of super strong self-discipline, although if structure (i.e. an agenda) is imposed on me, I love it and thrive under it. I hate deadlines because I always find myself doing the work the night before (I'm a notorious procrastinator), but that's not her at all.
    Ok this is where she's adamant she's an ISTJ because of her time management skills. The thing is - Ive seen ISFJs suck at this and excel well on this. To me, for the ISFJs it almost seems that their Fe pushes them to excel at this because they do not want disharmony in their workplace or work performance.

    Thank you so much for your help!

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by KeroKai View Post
    You should get her to read descriptions of Fe, Te, Fi, Ti. That should theoretically clear up the misunderstanding rather quickly.

    For the most part it does sound like she's a feeler given her focus on other people even if it makes her uncomfortable (That's more to do with personal experience and history). However, it could be possible that it's how she was brought up to behave.
    I tried but it was two in the morning and I didn't want to overly confuse her. I definitely will next time.

    And, you're right, we did take into consideration that she was brought up to behave caring and supporting to all people. I just see an ISTJ fizzling out on that aspect - they would rather manage something that gives back to people than doing it themselves personally. You know?

  7. #7
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    Maybe she has Enneagram Type 1 in her tri-type? That's probably the biggest reason I ended up confusing myself for an ISTJ. Type 1 values perfection in some areas, and they can be pretty objective in going about how to reach their goals.
    cheapsunglasses thanked this post.

  8. #8
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    well im ISFJ and my husband is ISTJ and alot of the differences i notice are that he is not very polite or appreciative. He knows the social queues as do i and will plan ahead to not upset the balance in society, but he also is very self involved. He will tell me that i need to think about myself because no one else will, which is a very bad way to look at things in my opinion. He will help others but he is a strong believer that if you dont immediately respond to his help by fixing your problem and taking care of yourself he will stop being helpful to you. I think and help others because i feel empathy for them or just like them in general. He has very little empathy and will show sympathy in only extreme cases. He is one of those people that never sits down, constantly has to be doing something, i can take things in stride and dont have that need to accomplish that other types seem to have. Dont get me wrong, i will do what is necessary, but i dont have to always be up and doing something. In arguments i tend to remember all the past problems and explain how those actions fit into the overall picture, he likes to deflect to non-related issues.

    Im not sure how much of this is us as individuals and how much type related.
    renna, DeadMilkman and Choice thanked this post.

  9. #9
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers


    I have a friend who's an ISFJ. Although we have a lot of similar perspectives on things, we are very different socially. While both of us will try to take into account others' feelings, she has always been a lot better at it than me. I don't purposely set out to offend anyone, but she seems to more instinctively know when to keep her mouth shut! :S She would rather be quiet and not say anything to challenge anyone whereas I will just blurt out whatever comes to my mind without necessarily considering how it will impact anyone else. In some ways I am more "selfish" than she is, because honestly, the person most on my mind is me about 80% of the time.

    I also think she cares way more about fitting into societal norms/expectations. She once told me she thought I was a very "free" person. I don't do anything to purposely stand out, but I won't go along with something I don't want to. She wouldn't go along with things that contradict her values, but she'd be more likely to follow a trend so that others feel comfortable, whereas I wouldn't.
    Mendi the ISFJ thanked this post.

  10. #10
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    The main difference isn't just the letters, think of the functions. This will determine the difference between ISFJ and ISTJ.

    it's easy to tell the difference.
    If she examples Te she will think aloud and it will be very easy for her to understand other peoples thought patterns on the contrary to her Ti. If you ever see her solve a maths problem or a system or something she won't explain it until she understands it completely and more than likely she will be right

    If she examples Fe, you will know, very involved with other peoples feelings ISFJ's are the best people in the world to talk to when they have the energy to focus on you, it's horrible when it is focused on themselves; 'that's good and all, but can we please make this about me?' If she displays Fi, it will be so difficult to catch onto other peoples feelings and conversation will be awkward, slow and painful for her. While the other person is doing most of the talking followed by slight head nods and 'yeah, I feel like that sometimes' if the topic is about their feelings.

    although, that is just my experience with the ISFJ (my sister is an ISFJ)


 
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. [ISFP] Differences between ISFP's and ISFJ's
    By teddy564339 in forum ISFP Forum - The Artists
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 06-24-2014, 02:18 PM
  2. [Enneagram Type 4] Some more major differences between 4w5 and 4w3
    By Raichan in forum Type 4 Forum - The Individualist
    Replies: 54
    Last Post: 12-25-2012, 10:23 AM
  3. Differences between ISFJ's and ESFJ's?
    By ginagia in forum SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-07-2012, 09:48 AM
  4. ISTJ Psychology Major
    By CorgiGirl in forum Intro
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-10-2011, 10:00 AM
  5. Major Differences Between PCs and Macs?
    By sunshine in forum General Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-10-2009, 10:14 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:25 PM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
2014 PersonalityCafe