I think I recognise that I'm stuck in a Si-Ti loop. I was recently faced with a situation relating to old issues, in which I was lost as to the right thing to do - I felt incapable of making a decision. The deciding factor was worst case scenarios and taking the safe route; only ever ending up in refusals: 'no'.
In the past, years ago, when I made an attempt to act without agonising over the consequences (partially as I didn't have the experience ot conceive of such possibilities, and I doubt many other people would have, considering the consequences), which lead to an extended period of badness I dont ever want to re-experience, and a host of other negative consequences. Even before this, I would have some trouble knowing what was the right thing to do: sitting on the fence as I didn't want to impose an opinion I wasn't sure of, or as I could see both sides of the argument and couldn't just between them, generally avoiding ever doing anything wrong; always sticking to the safe path in life.
My question is, how can I, and should I trust that it is a good thing to be more certain in life, and with that in mind, how did you ISFJs (Or other types with similar experiences/experiences relating to ISFJs/relevant general advice) battle/deal with this sense of needing some one else point me in the right direction/lacking my own certainties on the issue?
I've worked on becoming more active in terms of conflict between friends, but this doesn't resolve my inner feelings when particular quandries arise - namley on the subject of romantic/sexual advances; dating and intimacy being a bit of an inexplicable phobia of mine; my response is overwhelming and always blinsidingly unexpected and unpredictable; exacerberating the fears of making rash decisions when even the safest can encounter situations where I'll have to deal with intense, suddenly appearing emotions due to romantic advances, or, after particularly unthreatening advances by people I don't really know, quandries over whether I should try to combat it through actively seeking some kind of experience - I can see all the negative possibility so this is highly unlikely to happen, and if so, highly likely to end in disaster in my eyes.
I worry that in asking this, I am looking for an excuse to do something foolish, with the momentum of having someone elses opinion on which to base my actions. I am never certain of anything myself.
In short, I wanna do the right thing, but I don't know how to go about knoing what it is I think is the right thing, particularly in high pressure situations.