ENFP/ISFJ compatibility?

ENFP/ISFJ compatibility?

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This is a discussion on ENFP/ISFJ compatibility? within the ISFJ Forum - The Nurturers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Im just curious what the compatibility is between these two and what your guys' opinions are on ENFP's? I like ...

  1. #1
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    ENFP/ISFJ compatibility?

    Im just curious what the compatibility is between these two and what your guys' opinions are on ENFP's?

    I like ISFJs. I feel like everything is nicely complemented.
    The only gripe I have is the constriction Ive noticed some of them have. Theyre flexible in some ways with things and in other ways not at all.
    But I think this is something I have to learn to appreciate.

  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I'll give my two cents, I have a very good ISFJ friend. I have fallen for her one time, and she fell for me, but at different times. So it was a no-go, lol. But we're friends nonetheless. What I get the most out of her is her loyalty and her warmth... she's quite concerned with friends. What she has told about myself and I believe is relevant here, is that I am, for all purposes, a very intellectual person, but someone who can relate easily to her and initiate good conversations. I think the ENxP, the Ne thing, makes us seem intellectual (it's true, in most cases), but our F makes it easer for us to relate to people. And ISFJs, being intimacy-seekers (IMO) as they are, really like that. We ENFPs however have to be the catalyzing action in conversations (than again that could be the case in any E-I thing )

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Hmm this is was great to read and thank you.

    I do find that i have to strike up a conversation, sometimes i feel like the conversation is boring or sputtering a bit. When we get excited about something though we both share alot of enthusiasm which i enjoy a lot.
    I really like how caring he is, he gives me constant praise and approval which I really appreciate and love. I feel like hell never leave my side and always be around when i need him, and of course vice versa.

    I find his Introversion sort of extreme. He literally does not like to go out or meet new people. When i present him with the opportunity to meet people similar to him he doesnt want to meet them. Hes a very confident person, he just..really isnt social at all. I suppose as long as hes ok with me being social im ok with letting people do as they wish.

    Hes pretty textbook ISFJ. On an emotional level we connect extremely well. On a mental level however I would say that I am the one talking about things that are more stimulating (Im a physics major so I dont expect everyone to be interested in that). He usually wants to talk about music or the past or experiences...I love talking about those things, just not all the time lol. I hope I dont bore him with my conversation!

    Just curious if anyone else has had this match up and what it was like.
    TheWildOne, Judson Joist, Judson Joist and 3 others thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    My bff is an ISFJ and if I was a guy I would marry her in a heartbeat.
    That is all . . .
    morningglory010, wsmf, ItsAlwaysSunny and 7 others thanked this post.

  6. #5
    ESFJ - The Caregivers

    My mother is an ISFJ. I don't know about this particular match, but if you're okay with him being pretty hermit-like and trying to take care of you constantly (my mom does this in the form of nagging sometimes, which my TP brothers don't appreciate), and as long as you are willing to make sure he doesn't feel taken for granted, then you should be pretty happy. My mom is an awesome person, and I think ISFJs can be great in relationships if they're matched up with someone who can appreciate them for who they are.
    Linnifae, refugee, under skies and 2 others thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I'm an ENFP who dated an ISFJ for about a year and a half. The biggest stumbling block for us was that ISFJ will pretty much always want additional levels of commitment and security, while the ENFP will not want to rush into commitment for commitment's sake and will want to move at his or her own pace, no matter how arbitrary it feels to the ISFJ.

    Communication about feelings is good and easy for both partners, although for my ISFJ no amount of reassurance was enough to convince her how deeply I cared about her, and her reluctance to take my words at face value led to building resentment on my part. A healthy ISFJ has all the security he or she needs in themselves, and so doesn't require a partner to provide security, and thus can trust much more easily. An ISFJ wants nothing more than to be able to trust wholeheartedly, but I think many ISFJs find taking that step incredibly difficult.

    ENFP can also easily, easily take ISFJ for granted (as can most other types) -- I know I fell into that trap often. ISFJs have a hard time expressing things that bother them and tend to let resentments fester, so that ENFPs are not entirely sure what the base complaint is. Oftentimes I think ENFPs can't understand "what the big deal" is about something to an ISFJ, like leaving dishes in the sink or calling you at a later time than promised, since ISFJs like schedules and really abhor uncertainty.

    The SJ/NFP contrast will likely also trigger conflicts over organizational differences, and the ISFJ will need to realize that their ENFP will probably never reach whatever organizational standard they have. Compromise here is hard -- ENFPs are grateful when ISFJs take the organizational reins quietly, but this can leave the ISFJs feeling totally used and like ENFP isn't doing an equal share -- which, let's face it, they're not. There's no real solution for this -- either the ISFJ makes peace with it and believes that this inequality is outweighed by the positives the ENFP brings to the relationship, or they don't and feel taken advantage of. Unfortunately, eventually continued expressions of unhappiness with ENFPs organizational performance will leave ENFP feeling hectored.

    Also, ISFJs can fail to recognize that ENFPs need social stimulation outside of the relationship. ENFPs have a desire to integrate their relationship into their larger social network, but my ISFJ would always want to leave parties early or would back out at the last minute and then I'd feel guilty for "abandoning" them. It can be sort of counterintuitive and very difficult for an ISFJ to encourage a romantic partner to find other (platonic) interests, but it will go so far towards building a healthy relationship.

    The good thing about ENFPs is that we are tremendously affectionate, thoughtful, considerate, gentle, inventive, and a bit silly. ISFJs are dedicated, responsible, self-sacrificing, dependable, and loving. There are a lot of attractive qualities in each type, but by paying attention to the pitfalls I listed above you can create a really healthy, lasting relationship.

  8. #7
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    I have an ENFP male friend, and an ISFJ female friend. I've noticed a little chemistry between them that I don't think either of them have. I personally believe they would make a great couple, but he has a girlfriend currently. That may just be these two though, I don't know many other ENFP's to judge upon.

  9. #8
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    glukupikron has a lot of very good points. I dated an ENFP for a while, and there were a lot of very complimentary components that our personalities contributed to each other. It seems to me that most ISFJs are reflective enough to appreciate the intuition that the ENFP possesses. I really liked that she made it easier for me to socialize, but also understood when I needed to re-energize and get away from socializing. She seemed to appreciate my calm way of quickly taking care of the mundane details so she could focus on socializing and creating fun.

    For the most part, we usually recognized our different perspectives and realities, but it seemed like the point upon which we had trouble understanding each other was how to define our values as we were in a relationship with each other. We seemed to like the excitement of our different personalities so much, that we both made too much compromise. ENFPs almost seem to have no morals, while ISFJs seem to have too many. We seemed to recognize the difference and swung right past each other trying to create a happy medium. So I ended up having no morals and became uncomfortable and she had too many morals and became uncomfortable. So it would seem to me that ISFJs and ENFPs could have good relationships as long as they figure out how to understand and accept the other's values.

  10. #9
    INTP - The Thinkers

    The Perseus System identifies sever friction between the two that could lead to severe acrimony. The SJ v NP conflict is jailbait to the latter. However, a business relationship between the two could pay dividends.

    In normal circumstances the best match is ISFJ x ESTJ. Need for Security x Bullying.
    pinkrasputin, firedell and zashiq5 thanked this post.

  11. #10
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Newbie Opinion:

    I've been married for 7 years to an ISxJ -- taint easy. Contributions to many aspects of a relationship can be shared by the 2 types (very yin-yang for us), however the 'J' can be difficult to handle. Meaning, one partner can not "regulate" the rules of the relationship, no more so than one partner can "enliven" the relationship.

    Both parties MUST RESPECT and AVOID CHANGING their partners. ISxJ's inflexibility of opinion, coupled with their unease at approaching anything unknown, literally leaves the "the future" of the relationship on the shoulders of the ENFP. This is as unfair as leaving the daily minutia of the relationship to the ISxJ. BOTH PARTIE must operate ouside of their preferred comfort zones to be successful.

    **WARNING: ISxJ's appear to be very friendly and kind-hearted.. on the surface. For ENFPs, beware that you may be let down when you realize he/she loves you out of a sense of duty (rescuer/reformer), rather than deeply shared emotions. Be ready to accept love that you may interpret as shallow. it isn't, it's just VERY different from your expression.

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