Do you fear being understood 100%?

**Benedox** · 05-19-2011 09:05 PM

I was just curious... Do ISFJs need to be somewhat misunderstood? The ISFJ I know has repeatedly said that this was one of her worst fears. If it's one of yours as well, why?

**AquaColum** · 05-19-2011 11:07 PM

Worst fears? Heck, it'd be great to be understood... not sure about 100%, that might feel like an invasion or something... I do need my space. But it'd be nice to be mostly understood. It'd save a lot of trouble and misunderstandings. I love my best friend because she understands me. It makes me feel less alone.

Hopefully I don't sound melodramatic "omg nobody undestands me!!1!!!! )':" ...I think people in general feel misunderstood. (Or maybe just teenagers?

)

**Bigbrother87** · 05-20-2011 06:24 AM

Personally, it's not the thought that someone could understand me 100% that scares me. It's the thought that someone who has taken the time to get to know me 100% or has had me explain myself fully and completely to them, might then possibly reject who I am, or try to change me...

I know I need some facts, some beliefs, some THINGs inside that are solid and don't change. And what happens if someone learns of those things and rejects them? I think it would feel like a rejection of me, something that would be very hard to handle, given those circumstances.

But, just basic, day to day communication type things? There, it would be really nice to be understood all the time!

**Fractals and Pterodactyls** · 05-20-2011 11:25 PM

Sort of. I long to be understood but if someone understood me 100% there may be parts of me they don't accept. Ultimately, I don't worry so much about being misunderstood as I do not being accepted for who I am.

**mrgreendots** · 05-21-2011 08:23 PM

If someone understood me 100% I'd be a little scared of them taking advantage of me. There probably wouldn't be much secret keeping between them and me and I do like to keep my thoughts to myself. I'd rather I'd be able to choose when I want to tell someone about my worries and what not than have them already know and giving them the freedom of judging me however they want to, maybe also telling other people if they were that immature.
Although I frequently wish that someone would simply walk by and tell someone misunderstanding me what I was like and what I felt at the moment.
At the moment there basically isn't anyone who understands me more than 20% so it can get frustrating knowing that no one knows the real me.

**hello317** · 05-21-2011 08:34 PM

Originally Posted by Benedox

I was just curious... Do ISFJs need to be somewhat misunderstood? The ISFJ I know has repeatedly said that this was one of her worst fears. If it's one of yours as well, why?

No. I wish more people could understand me. Not my fear at all. Love to have one more good friend who totally understands me.

**Benedox** · 05-21-2011 09:23 PM

Originally Posted by hello317

No. I wish more people could understand me. Not my fear at all. Love to have one more good friend who totally understands me.

What is the "real you" that you would like people to understand? Just curious... :)

**hello317** · 05-21-2011 09:33 PM

Originally Posted by Benedox

What is the "real you" that you would like people to understand? Just curious... :)

Oh no...when I said that, I meant.....I wish I can have more friends who are more compatible with me.
Friends who understand why I said certain things after I blurted out something.
Friends who understand how I think if I have a certain look on my face.
Friends who think similar as me so that I don't need to explain why I do certain stuff.
Friends who know what I want even I don't need to say it out.

Just some examples and all wishful thinking.

**teddy564339** · 05-22-2011 08:12 AM

Originally Posted by Bigbrother87

Personally, it's not the thought that someone could understand me 100% that scares me. It's the thought that someone who has taken the time to get to know me 100% or has had me explain myself fully and completely to them, might then possibly reject who I am, or try to change me...

This. I couldn't have said it any better.

**my melody** · 05-23-2011 09:12 AM

For me, yes it's partly what @Bigbrother87 said, but part of me likes being misunderstood and if I felt like someone understood me 100% I'd be really uncomfortable and probably feel threatened. I'm not really sure how to explain it, it's just that I like that I'm reserved and don't open up to many people. Even those who know me better than anyone else, they don't know everything, or don't really understand and part of me likes that. But I do wish sometimes I didn't feel quite so misunderstood. Part of me likes it, part of me hates it. Idk. XD I think I pretty much said that same thing over and over in this post, ugh, lol.