[peoplhi]

she was great. fun. exciting. affectionate. but sadly taken. we tried to be just friends but feelings developed. i couldn't start anything because it would be wrong to be in an affair. but there was a definite attraction between the two of us. we'd go around holding hands. sleep in the same bed embracing one another. we'd cook together, eat together, and spend as much time as possible with one another.

then things turned sour. she often asks for my help. i helped her with everything. advise her on life decisions, help with her homework, pay for her things, cheer her up when she's down. but toward the end of our relationship, besides her company and the occasional thank you, i'd get nothing in return. and even when we're hanging out together she started to ignore me. this went on for a while. it was a one sided relationship. i confronted her about it. she denied it. it kept happening. i confronted her again, she said it was happening but felt like i wanted her to be someone else. she kept pointing out that i was being unfair to her. i kept feeling used. then she accused me of trying to break her up with her boyfriend, which is a ridiculous accusation since i went out of my way to help her with it. i drove her a long distance to when she was in distress so she could make up with him. i make breakfast for her when she was sick so she could spend time with him. and when she cried on my shoulder i comforted her by telling her that she'd be able to spend time with him soon.



it made me angry with her senselessness. and soon after i realized that i was being used as well. that she has had previous friends who she cries to and pays for her and helps her, though they never were was close as i was to her emotionally or even physically. but anyways, i ended the friendship and possible emotional affair. it was very hard for me and lead me to cry quite a bit for quite some time. now we no longer talk to one another.

how do i keep this from happening again? it was painful and time consuming and not something i want a repeat of.

[Lav]

I wonder why she does that.

[peoplhi]

My guess is that she doesn't know how to handle emotionally stressful things in her life without the help of another person. Her usual methods of dealing with problems is to first try to find someone else at fault. If that doesn't work she would try to come up with an excuse that makes it so that the problem is not her's to deal with. And if that doesn't work she'll feel as if the world is against her. And her boyfriend isn't very good at support and seems to just ignore any problems in his or her life. So she goes to other people.