[Introvertigo]

I have to actually stop her, again and again, from moving in on what I consider to be "my" jobs.
Poor dear would work herself to death if I were to take advantage.

You're a gentleman. I've sworn off any more relationships with people who have no qualms at all about taking advantage.

[the crow]

You're a gentleman. I've sworn off any more relationships with people who have no qualms at all about taking advantage.

And you are reasonable. Some women would have jumped all over me for being "sexist".

[CptKickerCutleg]

I can safely say I probably crave appreciation more than most.
But such a thing is unquantifiable in it's own essence, so I can't really say.
I feel awkward and unworthy of praise, but I crave it more than I crave air after swimming.
I do everything I can to help people in the hope they'll praise me, lifting the darkness and depression from my heart.

[exquisitesolace]

Now, one might think that this is unfair, and that the ISFJ should just suck it up and do things without that affirmation. And I'm not saying that there aren't times when this is necessary. But, at the same time, other types are also motivated by things that mean nothing to an ISFJ. I always feel that if another type needs something else (such as status, power, challenge, engagement, reward, etc) to be motivated, then they should also understand that for an ISFJ, that motivator may be simple appreciation. It's another case of understanding that if you would like to see more opportunities for motivation in your life, that's the way an ISFJ would feel about praise and appreciation. Despite the frustration with having to give it, it really is a pretty easy way to motivate someone...it's cheap and always available to give.

You know, I have been questioning if my true type really is ISFJ, mainly because of that – appreciation. I am not sure if that is an aspect of scoring highest on the types 2 and 4 (both are tied) on the enneagram. I’ve read more into the different types and functions and have found myself relating to mostly ISFJs and INFJs. But I’ve come to realize that I tend to crave others’ appreciation. Even a simple, “Thanks” every now and then when I’ve done something for others.. And sometimes when gratitude isn’t returned when I expected it, I may be disappointed or feel as if I am not worthy enough. It’s true that others may be motivated by status, power, challenge etc. (I know my INTJ friend is), and I do feel like for me, personally, a lot of the times, my self-motivation is derived from someone else’s validation of me. I know it’s unhealthy, to say the least, and that is something I am working on.

Yeah... I dunno if all ISFJs need more appreciation than warranted, in comparison to other types... But I have a suspicion, now that I think about it, that sometimes I want more appreciation than I should be getting =/ Or maybe I'm thinking too much, and I SHOULD be getting more appreciation. Doing group projects all by myself is quite annoying when I don't get much credit X_X

I can also resonate with this. When others aren’t complimenting/crediting me, I will think about whether or not my words, actions, or behaviors were even worth being appreciated. I tended to do a lot of the work in group projects (even if we’ve split up the work), too, which is why I prefer working alone, if given the option.

[TiNeSi]

It is not a hassle to praise ISFJs, because they're worth it and don't go around fishing for compliments. So, it comes naturally.

[teddy564339]

You know, I have been questioning if my true type really is ISFJ, mainly because of that – appreciation. I am not sure if that is an aspect of scoring highest on the types 2 and 4 (both are tied) on the enneagram. I’ve read more into the different types and functions and have found myself relating to mostly ISFJs and INFJs. But I’ve come to realize that I tend to crave others’ appreciation. Even a simple, “Thanks” every now and then when I’ve done something for others.. And sometimes when gratitude isn’t returned when I expected it, I may be disappointed or feel as if I am not worthy enough. It’s true that others may be motivated by status, power, challenge etc. (I know my INTJ friend is), and I do feel like for me, personally, a lot of the times, my self-motivation is derived from someone else’s validation of me. I know it’s unhealthy, to say the least, and that is something I am working on.




I can also resonate with this. When others aren’t complimenting/crediting me, I will think about whether or not my words, actions, or behaviors were even worth being appreciated. I tended to do a lot of the work in group projects (even if we’ve split up the work), too, which is why I prefer working alone, if given the option.

It is not a hassle to praise ISFJs, because they're worth it and don't go around fishing for compliments. So, it comes naturally.

Well, as TiNeSi kind of mentioned, I think all feeler types probably crave appreciation to some degree, at least more than thinker types. So that might not be much of a tell in terms of type.

What might be true, however, is that ISFJ's may be less likely to speak up about their desire for appreciation than other feelers. I think as SJ's, sometimes we're willing to suck it up and do our work, even if we don't get the appreciation we want...and we may not ask for it. It's possible that other feeling types may be less likely to do that. I don't know, it's hard to say.

[kexx]

I'm sort of a weird ISFJ, but appreciation is still really important to me. I really feel like I go out of my way for people I love and care about, which I like doing, but if they never seem to appreciate it or say thanks meaningfully every once in awhile I feel like they don't care back. I'm not very good at expressing myself through words so I do it through actions. Telling me they appreciate me or showing me they do is all I need.

Other than appreciation though I need to be intellectually challenged or be doing something creative. Otherwise I go crazy. @__@ I think I could go being unappreciated before someone takes my books and art away. I guess it makes me an unhealthy ISFJ, but I find myself being pretty cynical about people and just doing things and expecting no one to appreciate me. I don't want a lot of attention, just a meaningful thanks or someone to do something for me every once in awhile. :/

[Medea]

My wife - ISFJ - mentioned, just today, that she loves doing any amount of work, as long as it gets appreciated.
If I left it up to her, I would simply sit on my throne and never have to lift a finger.
My only duty would be to tell her, and show her, that she is appreciated.
I have to actually stop her, again and again, from moving in on what I consider to be "my" jobs.
Poor dear would work herself to death if I were to take advantage.

My mom is like this exactly. She's always the last to the table to eat, or do anything because she's always doing things for others.

[Medea]

Also I find that too much praise makes me uncomfortable, so often times I ask people not to.
But when it isn't given anymore or very rarely from then on, I regret it and secretly wish they would acknowledge me.
It matters more to me from select people that I hold in high regard though than most others.
If they don't notice the things I'm doing for them, or praise everyone else but me, I become down and leave.

[floryshe]

good topic.

this is definitely the motivating factor as to why some isfjs might be overly competitive.... don't look at me :|

and perhaps why isfjs might be more or less inclined to be the passive-aggressive cashier... :D

anyway, if i could just find someone that could justly dispense appreciation for things i know i do well.. i'd bee all over them! it really is a motivating factor when someone takes notice and says something positive. it makes me just want to do whatever i'm doing that much better - to go a few more miles than the miles i've already gone!