I can relate, I don't feel like I could ever date because I'm so hit and miss with openness, and needy, paranoied and irrational deep down when it comes to intimacy and relationships.
So far I've been trying to stay on a middle ground - be moderately open more and more with more people I'm close to, rather than unload on one person. Making sure I remember how irrational I can get. Trying to put myself in challenging situations. Maybe five years ago I had serious trouble talking to people I didn't know when not accompanied by friends or family - I'd go mad with unhealthy Ne, now I'm able to join groups and be pretty sociable without some kind of safety net or feeling like I'm a waste of oxygen, first notice how dramatic that sort of thing can sound, then learn to find a little humour in it, be endeared by some of your faults, be forgiving to yourself and note good points, learn to do the same more with others in your mind and heart. Positivity makes it easier to trust and relate imo.
It's good you're finding humour, like krwheel says, the next step for me - maybe it's different for you - was to find the phrase 'It's okay' 'It'll be okay' 'It's going to be okay' - things arn't going to go wrong because I deserve it, it's not wrong for good things to happen to me, I deserve love just like anyone else - in songs and just repeating it to myself when things get difficult. I guess finding something somewhat intangible, not one agony aunt that's 'safe' for you. Maybe just a safe song.