[jamescarrolls]

I lived in Brazil for a year so I'm totally relaxed and at home with the idea of both kissing/hugging affection between the sexes and with verbal endearments. In fact I call everyone some sort of loving nickname: sweety, kitten, love, dear, sweetpea etc etc.

Bring on the kisses and hugs I say! Actually I'm quite reticent with it for myself but seeing my significant other doing it with others? Doesn't bother me at all. But Medea is right -- it's situational and what the person is comfortable with. If you are very open and she isn't then I think you both need to talk about why you do/do not like the affection.

Thank you.... Miss sts.

Then I can quite say that this is more of a personal issue. Something that needs time for both of us to understand. And time is all I have. I'll always be her friend. That's unconditional.

Miss sts... thank you very much for your feedback. You can throw me across the table anytime if you ever feel like venting or just for the hell of it.

[Liminality]

If it's sincere, physical affection and attention has a strong affect on me - though it can depend on the person and the sort of affection, seeing others being physically affectionate/or just more affectionate than they are with me could make me jealous, though I'd never say it - what Medea said - jelousy strikes at funny points, I think it depends on how confident the ISFJ is in the relationship, and what significance they give to that person and their actions, like others have sort've said.

As for endearmentisms, maybe I'd be suspicious, maybe I'd love it, depends on the guy. I like it when girls use them - the kinds of girls who do strike me as safe usually - I'm generally less confident with men so it figures that more women feel trustworthy and safe enough not to be suspicious just due to that in that way.

Regarding addictions, I know an ISFJ who's an ex alcoholic, became sober when she had kids , but ehh, that's just one.

Thanks for sharing by the way

[jamescarrolls]

If it's sincere, physical affection and attention has a strong affect on me - though it can depend on the person and the sort of affection, seeing others being physically affectionate/or just more affectionate than they are with me could make me jealous, though I'd never say it - what Medea said - jelousy strikes at funny points, I think it depends on how confident the ISFJ is in the relationship, and what significance they give to that person and their actions, like others have sort've said.

As for endearmentisms, maybe I'd be suspicious, maybe I'd love it, depends on the guy. I like it when girls use them - the kinds of girls who do strike me as safe usually - I'm generally less confident with men so it figures that more women feel trustworthy and safe enough not to be suspicious just due to that in that way.

Regarding addictions, I know an ISFJ who's an ex alcoholic, became sober when she had kids , but ehh, that's just one.

Thanks for sharing by the way

Depending on the person. But I can see where a man can be taking an advantage or hidden motives behind it. Even females? So... it takes time to see if that person is for real and genuine. And usually like Miss Medea said earlier, it all comes out in the wash. But I am grateful to know how each and everyone of you have your own side to how we see things. So... all in all, I guess this is an individuals persona.

Thank you Miss Liminality for always giving your insight.

Sincerely,
Johnny

[Lisethg89]

Personally, I feel very uncomfortable with hugs. I even struggle when showing affection to my close family and friends. Im not sure what it is. I am an active church goer and in my church its quite normal to greet others with a handshake and a kiss on the cheek. To this day, 6 yrs later I rather avoid people than greet them.

[jamescarrolls]

Personally, I feel very uncomfortable with hugs. I even struggle when showing affection to my close family and friends. Im not sure what it is. I am an active church goer and in my church its quite normal to greet others with a handshake and a kiss on the cheek. To this day, 6 yrs later I rather avoid people than greet them.

Can you give it one more try??? It seems that like you were saying before that you have. Maybe you can do it again. Of course, it is going to be very uncomfortable in the beginning.

I just say this because it would be nice if you can with your family.

I'm 41 and my father and mother were never used to it in the beginning. They are not huggers by tradition and maybe their up bringing. I don't know..... But they sure can't seem to get enough of it. They themselves had learned to give hugs to my friends that come by and pay their respect to them. They like doing that now. I can see it in their smile. My mother and father are in their 70's. People can change.

[Lisethg89]

Quote: Can you give it one more try??? It seems that like you were saying before that you have. Maybe you can do it again. Of course, it is going to be very uncomfortable in the beginning.

I just say this because it would be nice if you can with your family.

I'm 41 and my father and mother were never used to it in the beginning. They are not huggers by tradition and maybe their up bringing. I don't know..... But they sure can't seem to get enough of it. They themselves had learned to give hugs to my friends that come by and pay their respect to them. They like doing that now. I can see it in their smile. My mother and father are in their 70's. People can change.


I would like to be able to get over this, especially for my family. I have really tried and Ive seen some progress but there is this pull from my side which wont let me express myself physically. That pull of sorts, blocks my ability and desire to hug with my soul and not just my body. I dont know what it is. I can hug friends and family but usually I avoid it if I can.

But thanks, I will try to find a solution. There is nothing like a loving hug.

[jamescarrolls]

Lisethg89....

And that's okay too. For some reason it is just not there yet to give hugs. I believe as long as your family knows that you love them..... That's good enough for them, and I believe they are okay with that.