Done at least nine drugs since my teen years and struggled with addictions to five of them. I used to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day before quit smoking close to two years ago. Hard liquor was my alcohol of choice and have lost count how many times I have gotten blacking out drunk to the point of passing out on the floor trying to run away from myself. Some nights I was to afraid to go to sleep because I was afraid I would forget to breath because my breathing was that labored from all the alcohol I had consumed. Considering all the drugs I've done , the heavy drinking, reckless behavior and suicide attempts by all rights I should not still be here. You definitely are not alone in your struggles with drugs and alcohol. My ISFJ personality drove me towards the drugs.