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This is a discussion on ISFJ, do you have an ENTP in your house? within the ISFJ Forum - The Nurturers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; What is the experience like? I'd like the bad and the good if you would please In my house, my ...
What is the experience like? I'd like the bad and the good if you would please
In my house, my husband is ISFJ and my son is ENTP. The good.....our son is very entertaining to my husband and really knows how to make him smile. My husband is proud of his intelligence. The bad....our son's lack of discipline drives my husband crazy and he hates that he constantly has to repeat himself.
What's it like your world interacting with an ENTP?
isfjs worry too much...its annoying
but i love em
From my roommate's perspective -
Good:
Creativity, excitement, interesting insights, energy, sarcastic or bombastic humor.
Bad:
Selfish (or self-interested), disregards most rules, outspoken, DGAF about conventions, questions everything, argumentative, insensitive.
...The timing of this thread is hilarious...
So, just yesterday, I figured out that my youngest brother is most definitely an ENTP. It shouldn't have come as much of a surprise that he's exactly opposite me, we've been at odds since forever and can never agree on anything.
The hard part is that I, my INFJ sister, and my untyped mom are all most definitely Feelers, and we have to deal with my brother's Thinking. I also have a younger brother who is a lot like my ENTP brother, but more mature, and an untyped dad.
To explain more, I'm 22 and the oldest, he's 15 and the youngest. Already a rough age, I understand, which makes it all the worse when we Feelers in the family see him disregarding us, arguing with us just to argue, not seeming to care about what we do for him, and presenting his logical Thought-out answer to something, but his answer runs counter to what we know of the situation.
He says he takes pleasure in his ability to manipulate people, his ability to lie "without lying", and that's been a bit tough on us.
However, now that we know it really DOES stem from a fundamental difference in how we see the world, we just have to make him interested in the other types and what makes them tick so he can't claim ignorance as to how we think and feel.
Will that change him? Not likely. But now will we be able to research how to possibly produce peace and harmony in the household? Definitely a possibility.
Oh, and you want the good, too? Definitely passionate when he gets into something, very protective in certain situations, can be very smart, when his smart-mouth doesn't run faster than his head. A leader, and a very convincing person.
the world and his drives and visions are very antagonizing at this point. he lives in boundaries which u may be related to. take his view of society seriously and get him to bring out his real beliefs in arguments...not just what is needed to win. do anything and everything to foster his confidence and self esteem. he wont be praising jesus much in his life if thats an issue...ur just going to have to drop that....just make sure hes being himself at work and at school because being fake will drive him up a wall as well. tell him how u feel...very directly...and if the way u feel is entirely based on dogma...then change(thats what isfjs have to do in order to mature anyways) because ull just run into a brick wall
if i seem beligerent then im sorry...i dont really know the situation
I've lived in conditions with an ISFJ. ISFJ women are fine, they find me an oddity. ISFJ men however, figure me out to be some weird guy that needs help/pushing.
How can "questions everythig" be bad? :) You gotta question things to understand them and also for them to improve^^What world we would live in if no one questioned anything^^Originally Posted by AirMarionette
I'm not sure about AirMarionette, but philosophical, scientific and creative questioning I understand/value.
It just gets irritating at times if someone question(s) your decisions frequently (usually in a position of authority), especially if you're feeling stressed out and you've already asked them to stop once. It's hard to process when you're feeling overwhelmed with Fe and feels like a personal jab at you. Not that you can't question us, just do it when we've calmed down so we can be more objective about it.
I think this is a classic example of the difference between having dom Ne and dom Si. I actually just did an extensive video chat with an ENTP PerC member and we touched on all kinds of differences between ENTPs and ISFJs, and it was fascinating for both of us to look at in detail how the two types often have very opposite needs. It's interesting how what stresses out one type is exactly what the other type needs.
As @SimpleSauropod said, I think one big aspect is that Js (particularly SJs) have a desire to get things done and finished. We feel a certain amount of stress when things still have to be done, and we get an immense amount of peace and satisfaction out of completing something and having it settled. For us, it's more about the end result that it is the process.
As I learned in my video chat, Ps often don't have this same desire. For Ps, it's more about the process. NPs in particular focus and care so much more about the underlying reasons behind something rather than details of the physical aspect of it. When this is combined with the Ti that NTPs have, it results in an NTP wanting to stretch out processes as long as possible, continually tweaking them and understanding everything just right. As I learned, ENTPs seek to infinitely generate possibilities and explore them.
I think this shows the strengths and the weaknesses of the types. When an Si-dom gets too controlled by it, they get stuck in ruts, they don't try anything new, and they don't question something out of a desire to stay in their comfort zone. When an Ne-dom gets too controlled by it, they don't ever complete anything or get anything done...it's not practical.
So ideally there would be a sort of compromise on both sides, and both would be able to help the other improve in their area of weakness.
Basically, it's about different types having different needs. If we don't understand, accept, value and respect the needs of those very different than us, and if we always look at it strictly from our own lens, they're always going to seem crazy to us because based on our needs, we wouldn't see any reason for someone else to act as they do.
Two of my distant family members are ISFJ and ENTP, the ISFJ woman being much older than the ENTP girl.
They get along ok except that sometimes ENTP tries to emotionally rally up the ISFJ by behaving like a jerk. The ISFJ reacts immediately, they have a fight, later they make up. This has been the pattern of relating between them for years.
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