Howdy. Just popping in these parts of the forum to get some advice on communication.
My wife is an ISFJ and we have been having difficulty communicating when I attempt to give her advice. As a Ti/Ne, my advice comes in the form of noticing when things are inefficient and bring this up in a neutral, conversational manner in the hopes that through discussion and reason, whomever Iím talking to will notice what I have noticed and react accordingly. Too easyÖ for an INTP.
I have found that when I communicate like this with my ISFJ wife, she tends to get a little upset (some times more than others). I see it as a combination of her Si/Fe. She tends to make decisions and consider information through her Si (details of past experiences) and Fe (emotional resonance with reality). It seems that when I casually notice something and bring it to her attention, she takes this as an affront to her Si so what I believe is neutral advice comes across as a domineering attack on her past experiences, her methods and emotional sensibilities. This is exacerbated all the more when our two views on a situation have little or no common ground. I suppose then I tend to be a bit dismissive.
I think I answered a little bit of my own question in writing this, but how would you ISFJs deal with an INTP jerk like me? Also, how do you ISFJs take advice, and what is the best form it can take? How can I get my help to not come across as a personal attack on her methods? Any and all comments are appreciated. I figure Iíve got the rest of my life to live with this woman, so Iíd better take every opportunity to find ways to smooth out our communication.