[teddy564339]

Ha ha, so I just read this description and it sounds almost exactly like ertertwert's girlfriend.

ISFj Uncovered "Beneath the Sweetness"




Kind of made me cringe some (though this "uncovered" section is the section where they pretty much point out the deep down issues/problems with a type, they do the same thing with the other types).

It's funny because I haven't been in a relationship in a long time, and the ones I have been in didn't go all that well. I actually have little problem being alone, so it doesn't really bother me....but it makes me wonder how hard it is to have a good relationship with an ISFJ.

Of course, we are all still different, and like with any type, it's all a matter of growing, maturing, and overcoming faults in order to be healthy and happy.

Unfortunately, this article doesn't offer any help at dealing with or overcoming the issues. The comments are a mixed bag...some are kind of biting, but others are kind of interesting too.



So apparently, ertertwert, you're not alone! Of course, like I said, this is the dark side of ISFJ's, so the hope is that your girlfriend can somehow work to let her bright side overcome her dark side!

[ertertwert]

That link was 100% accurate of my impressions of ISFJ's in my life (my mom and my girlfriend).

[PurdyFlower]

ISFj Uncovered "Beneath the Sweetness"

I just read that article and unfortunately it sounds like myself. I can relate to this thread and I'm not proud of it.

[teddy564339]

I just read that article and unfortunately it sounds like myself. I can relate to this thread and I'm not proud of it.

Make sure you look at these threads too!

Advice for ISFJ's



ISFJs, what do you like about yourselves?



Of course, it's always important to be aware of personal faults and try to improve them, but as ISFJ's, it's also extremely important to think positively about yourself and don't get too down on yourself!

[PurdyFlower]

Make sure you look at these threads too!

Advice for ISFJ's



ISFJs, what do you like about yourselves?



Of course, it's always important to be aware of personal faults and try to improve them, but as ISFJ's, it's also extremely important to think positively about yourself and don't get too down on yourself!

Thanks a lot.

[ertertwert]

Figured I'd conclude this topic. The relationship ended a few weeks ago. Thanks for the advice though.

[PurdyFlower]

I'm sorry to hear that...I hope everything else works out.

[Razare]

You shouldn't vent to people who can't handle it. INFJ's are fixers when people vent.

My ISFJ friend vents to me sometimes about his problems and when he gets really rediculous, I spell out how every single one of his problems is really just a manifestation of a problem that he has.

Of course this makes him miserable, and I tell him sorry afterward, that I was just telling the truth and didn't mean to offend him.

I think ISFJ's may be prone to this, I am not certain, but at the very least my friend is prone to this. He complains about things that he is unwilling to change. At first, I'd tell him what he should do to fix his problem but then after a while, I started to realize he had no intention of fixing it. He likes to feel sorry for himself.

[teddy564339]

You shouldn't vent to people who can't handle it. INFJ's are fixers when people vent.

My ISFJ friend vents to me sometimes about his problems and when he gets really rediculous, I spell out how every single one of his problems is really just a manifestation of a problem that he has.

Of course this makes him miserable, and I tell him sorry afterward, that I was just telling the truth and didn't mean to offend him.

I think ISFJ's may be prone to this, I am not certain, but at the very least my friend is prone to this. He complains about things that he is unwilling to change. At first, I'd tell him what he should do to fix his problem but then after a while, I started to realize he had no intention of fixing it. He likes to feel sorry for himself.

Yeah, that doesn't sound surprising. I know that that's the way I am, a lot of times I'll complain about something I have no intention of doing anything about. I think ISFJ's have a tendency to just accept the problems with their current situations, preferring that to the extra work and risk of a possible solution.

But venting does help a whole lot, and it really makes things worse when people try to start fixing my problems. Most of the time I just need to let out my pent up feelings, and then I'll feel a lot better and I won't be bothered by my problem. So the problem is that only works for the right person, and it sounds like INFJ's aren't that person. ;)

I almost decided to type some excerpts from my MBTI relationship book about ISFJ/INFJ relationships, but I don't think it would be worth the trouble to type it at this point.

[dejavu]

You shouldn't vent to people who can't handle it. INFJ's are fixers when people vent.

My ISFJ friend vents to me sometimes about his problems and when he gets really rediculous, I spell out how every single one of his problems is really just a manifestation of a problem that he has.

Of course this makes him miserable, and I tell him sorry afterward, that I was just telling the truth and didn't mean to offend him.

I think ISFJ's may be prone to this, I am not certain, but at the very least my friend is prone to this. He complains about things that he is unwilling to change. At first, I'd tell him what he should do to fix his problem but then after a while, I started to realize he had no intention of fixing it. He likes to feel sorry for himself.

This has been my exact experience, except that I mainly only thought the things you were brave enough to say. It turns out that I'm not an INFJ like I thought I was (rather, an ENFP or INFP) but still have the same inclination to try and fix the problem when someone is venting. I appreciate that people need to vent, but if they're just doing it for the sake of letting it all out and having a pity party, I am not the person to turn to. I'll help fix it, though.

I know only one ISFJ, but the one I know is exactly the same. He vents and complains about things that he is not willing to change and never means to change. It's very frustrating.