Ha ha, so I just read this description and it sounds almost exactly like ertertwert's girlfriend.
ISFj Uncovered "Beneath the Sweetness"
Kind of made me cringe some (though this "uncovered" section is the section where they pretty much point out the deep down issues/problems with a type, they do the same thing with the other types).
It's funny because I haven't been in a relationship in a long time, and the ones I have been in didn't go all that well. I actually have little problem being alone, so it doesn't really bother me....but it makes me wonder how hard it is to have a good relationship with an ISFJ.
Of course, we are all still different, and like with any type, it's all a matter of growing, maturing, and overcoming faults in order to be healthy and happy.
Unfortunately, this article doesn't offer any help at dealing with or overcoming the issues. The comments are a mixed bag...some are kind of biting, but others are kind of interesting too.
So apparently, ertertwert, you're not alone! Of course, like I said, this is the dark side of ISFJ's, so the hope is that your girlfriend can somehow work to let her bright side overcome her dark side!