Look up glycerol and read the most recent blog. I need good advice please
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This is a discussion on help needed - good advice please within the ISFJ Forum - The Nurturers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Look up glycerol and read the most recent blog. I need good advice please...
Look up glycerol and read the most recent blog. I need good advice please
You say you have a strong attraction, but no real "connection".
I think you should wait about 2 weeks, and then have another date. If it works then, go for it. If not, such is life.
If an ENFP loses interest, it's over. It may not seem like it's over, because they'll come back and be affectionate on you like they are with everyone else and it will be special, but not the kinda special you'll be looking for. They're interested in the possibilities that their intuition is coming up with, so the idea of being with you was intriguing until it became a reality (time to move on to the next possibility).
Now, as a feeler, I understand that you'll probably hold out hope. That's alright. I don't see you getting really hurt by an ENFP, because they are loving and sweet and fun to be with. So in the end I would bet that you'll have some good experiences, you'll find a common thread in your mutual love for people and desire to believe in the best in everyone (if you're not one of those bitter ISFJs). You'll likely have a little sexual tension. Ultimately, you'll be left unsatisfied, because he'll be busy butterflying around spreading his affection to other people and you'll not get the emotional capital that you need to create a romantic relationship.
I would say it's over. The ENFP is over you, as you say, and if you're clinging, that will make you seem less attractive. Time to move on. Easier said than done, believe me.
don't give up!
enfps are extremely insightful, idea people that can be fascinating to us grounded isfjs. from my experience, with enfps, if you're on their good side they will provide you with everything.. love, affection, and most importantly.. lots and lots of stuff (yes, they love giving things!) we do speak different languages though but you just got to let them do the talking and always give positive feedback to their ideas. they do love suggestions, if you want to do something, talk about it! they'll usually figure out a way to make it happen; always be appreciative. when you're with an enfp you don't have to always be with them.. (emotionally).. you must live your own life, for yourself.. leave the emotion out of the relationship and just try to be FUN! try to have a good time! enfps want to be happy and seem to be so turned off by pointless emotions and drama some people seem to always be creating. if you're Light Minded and not taking things too seriously, and just trying to have a good time with them then the relationship will work, trust me!! a little honesty and directness never hurts either with this type, they'll get angry and furious during the moment sometimes but that usually goes away, plus they always give 2nd chances.. (well not always, if you cross a certain line, i've noticed enfps having no problem cutting people out of their lives that they don't care for.. they'll do it and not think twice about it.. lol)
just don't invest yourself too emotionally with this type.
never be jealous. always go with the flow.
never give them a reason to despise something about you. they can be judgmental and jump to all types of conclusions..
i really feel like this type of relationship can work if the isfj understands the enfp and the enfp isn't completely bored/turned off by the isfj. lol
anyway, best of luck :)
Thanks guys. That actually gave me more realistic approaches. I went on a date yesterday with him and ive concluded that it is over. It was alittle embarrassing becasue I confessed my feelings and it was one way. Of coarse the feelings part caught up and there were a bunch of tears. yikes. I know im not clingly, just stuck on this idea of him and I, but not really him. Youknow? Well anyway it is all said and done and found out first hand that there is very little compatibility. we like details, they ahte them. we like routine and are conservative, they love new and adventure. they like ideas and we like facts. we are schedulued and they are not at all. haha. It just wouldn't work. Anyway thanks again. You guys are awesome. What types have you guys noticed are attractive and stable for you and which ones are not as stable?
if you can find one that's at least sort of like minded i'd say an infp. yes, the enfp's introverted cousin. lol
they really are great though, i've known one for 3-4 years.. couldn't ask for a better friend.. not only does he genuinely care for me but he's so interesting.. and we've never had a dull conversation.. they aren't practical, nor do we see things eye to eye.. (Not at all!) but if you can get beyond that they really are great and have sooo much to give. leave your emotions at home with this type too, they can have powerful feelings but there's no reason to get all emo-isfj with them, just be light minded n have a good carefree time.
if you're looking for a more dynamic, emotional partner.. then try an esfp.. ugh, it's honestly best to just avoid the drama though.. they'll be so fun in the beginning of the relationship but don't be fooled.. it's just them trying to provoke a positive response, they hate criticism so i guess this is their way of minimizing it.. plz avoid this type at all cost, they'll drain you of everything unless you find one that's very emotionally stable.. you'll love their positive emotions, jeez you will, i sure do.. but once you get to know them you'll realize the bad, almost depression-like moods they have are inescapable and nothing you say or do will make them feel any better and then the next day they'll act like nothing happened and don't know what you're talking about.. lol..
of course... these are just my experiences...
haha i can see that. i dated one and he was unfrtunately not very stable so it ended pretty quickly. but my best friend at school is a more stable one and i love him to death but i don;t think it will go any further. My sister is an infp and i am so grateful to even know here. she is awesome so i totally know what you mean about them. for some reaon i attract a lot of enfps in my life, my roomate is one too and we are great at first and then it jsut dies. i really need to get away from that haha. but yea i wanna try a thinking type jsut because we would balance out you know? my dad is an intp and we get along great. i love him to death. i ahve a few friends that are esfj's but im scared for a relationship with them for they get kinda controlling and think very highly of themselveslol but yea, waht do you think of the thinking types? any experience?
I keep hearing terrible things about ISFJs with ENFPS, INFPs, ISTJs, ESTJs, INTJs - I'm rather curious as to why you guys don't ever see ENTJs as your ideal. Are you guys that needy of being loving or loved - spreading emotions and stuff. Even losers like INFJs and INTPs get in the sack with you guys.
Here's my idea of love.
First meeting, We do absolutely nothing, however you notice that I am being aggressive towards you.
First date, I am rubbing your back, but no kissing or hand holding.
Second date, I am now rubbing your buttocks, no kissing hand holding cuddling that kind of crap.
Third date, I am pulling your hair and other stuff.
Here are the other personalities ideal of love:
1. INFJ: I'M SPECIAL! I'M SPECIAL!
2. ENFP: Look at me!!!! WEEEE let's dance Look at me!!!!!
i dont think i have ever been romantically involved with an entj although i do ahve some friends that are those. But that is funny about the enfp's idea about love becasue it is kind of true. I just hear like through people and websites taht enfp's and isfj's just do not do well together. And i kind of experienced it and it was true but just seeing if I was just being unfaithful i guess? haha. Thanks though, amusing post