[krwheel]

So... a few nights ago I was hanging out with a girl and I've hung out with her before and I know basically what she's interested in and her personality functions, but never really connected to her knowing all that. But then she started to tell me a few past experiences and it just opened my vault of stories and experiences. It just seems interesting to me that I needed concrete history, despite my conscious knowledge of what this person is like.

What are some of your ISFJ experiences with relating to people through stories and experiences?

[Tucken]

MM I love others experiences, stories.

It's something that brings me much closer to the person. Those times you feel very connected to someone (a friend, in rare cases a complete stranger) it's because of this, I think. Someone opens up and that's what I want, a little peace of their soul.. I think talking about your experiences, basically giving of yourself, is very deeply "humane" in lack of a better word. It's a great feeling. Giving like this is so important.

I relate much better to people when they open up, but sometimes I'm bad with giving of myself. I need more stories!

[HandiAce]

Agreed, Tucken. I need more stories too! And I can't make them up either. That's just not right you know?

It's very difficult to connect with people when you haven't experienced similar things that they did. I'm not sure if this is so for all personalities.

Every story I tell to people I do solely to please them and include them.

I've felt like an alien at times because I was a fairly detached child, unlike other ISFJs who seem to fit in and cooperate with others. Well, I did fit in, just saw myself as the independent. Perhaps I had weak extraverting functions. I don't know.

Krwheel, I made a thread on here a while back about ISFJs and narrow interests. I mentioned that as soon as a person brought up the MBTI in a conversation, I instantly turned into an ENTP and started talking all about it. I can STRONGLY relate to just one short sentence opening up what you call a vault (I'm assuming the word you are using is describing immense depth of volume) of experiences. For me, though, those experiences are often not relevant. Sometimes the associations I make from another story a person tells are completely illogical to other people if I were to tell them how I made them.

[krwheel]

Krwheel, I made a thread on here a while back about ISFJs and narrow interests. I mentioned that as soon as a person brought up the MBTI in a conversation, I instantly turned into an ENTP and started talking all about it. I can STRONGLY relate to just one short sentence opening up what you call a vault (I'm assuming the word you are using is describing immense depth of volume) of experiences. For me, though, those experiences are often not relevant. Sometimes the associations I make from another story a person tells are completely illogical to other people if I were to tell them how I made them.

I totally meant the deep volume of experiences our minds store! Other sensors have really good memories, but I don't know that anyone can really understand how much an ISFJ remembers.

But along with what you were saying about the association to just a short sentence. I definitely experience the same thing. And it took me getting a little older to realize that my memories have emotions and feelings attached to them that make it so that they really may not be relevant to people I share them with (the seemingly illogical connection). I've found that as I experience more and learn more things (like MBTI and communication theory), I'm able to bring everything full circle and help people see my connections to past experiences.

Wow.... This is probably one of the hardest things for me to explain to other types. All the memories that I have and how each of them are significant.

[Liminality]

I find that I need concrete history to relate, often, and relate and empathise far better when I can truly hear someone's side of things in an argument, or hearing them talk about experiences and such. It's enjoyable also to hear people reminisce in detail at odd moments - although truma isn't enjoyable, it's more the closeness in particulaly traumatic accounts is the positive thing, if that makes sense.

When I can hear about vulnerable moments, or perhaps just pure and happy ones, for a person, it can really endear me to them, and make them feel alot safer to me, knowing where I am with them.

[Lady K]

I tend to feel like the best way to get my point across to someone is to share a life story - I think I also do this because it helps me show the person that I am talking to that I understand what they are feeling and going through, because I have also been through something similar. Aside from that, having similar stories to whoever I'm talking to makes me feel like I relate well with them, and I feel more comfortable when I can share stories that are related to whatever they're talking about.