[Lady K]

As mentioned in a previous thread, ISFJs have a tendency to want or aspire to security. So, let's talk about it. Are you secure currently? How did you achieve this? Does it make you happy? Do you plan to change something if you're not happy?



If you're not secure... do you care? What will you do to change it?

I think that's more than enough to start with. XD

[Liminality]

Ahh, silly ISFJs, don't be shy!

Let's have a try starting.

See self-pres type six. Security is virtually unachievable - like people refer to home - I consider security as a state of mind, or feeling. Insecurity is the ever present feeling something's wrong and trying to put a name to it.

What makes me feel secure, or atleast a little safer? Reading romance fiction (yaoi/shonen-ai). Watching a series or reading a book and being immersed in the world and characters. When i'm drunk and close with people physically. Being in special places I go to on holiday and listening to good music. Being close to natural beauty can help me feel soothed. People being very happy, laughing alot, affectionate.

I'm always trying to feel happy, feel secure, to asses what it is that's not good, that's bad about how I feel, why I don't feel secure.

[HandiAce]

These make me feel secure.

[Lady K]

*giggles* Nice one, Handi.

Security is a lot of things to me. Physical security - I like to keep my doors locked and I'm always paranoids about being harmed by the people around me (strangers mostly). I've just moved in with someone, and he's an ENTJ who never worries about that stuff... which is all well and good for him because he's a secure, strong guy, but for me.. it freaks the living daylights out of me when I get up and the doors are unlocked. Well.. it did at first. The changes are interesting. I've started to feel a little less paranoid since moving here, and finding the doors unlocked bothers me less and less. He's really sweet about it though - even though he basically scoffed at me the first time that I got upset about the doors being unlocked and told me it was unnecessary, he's been locking up all the doors for me. ^.^;;

I get pretty hung up on feeling safe with others too. I have a really hard time being completely open with people, and voicing my concerns, fears, feelings. I always feel like being that vulnerable is going to make me a target. I get open to a large extent, but it's always with stuff that I feel isn't really going to hurt me if they decide to try to use it against me - stuff I don't care about essentially.

I'm actually starting to feel more secure in my life than I have in a very long time. I'm no longer living with my large, loud, and annoying family (They're a huge source of stress for me). I feel more relaxed than I have in a long time. I would say that at this moment I am pretty happy with the way my life is going. I'm a bit skeptical in some respects, but I figure I can work it out, no matter how things end up falling.

[Hiccups24-7]

Are we slightly more prone to desiring it over other types? I'm not sure.. I don't want to be the exception! I guess I do desire feeling secure just as much as the next person perhaps? I do like change and unpredictable events but then I do need to balance it out with safe alone time. Sounds like an introvert? Heightened by my J?
I'm pretty sure my mum is an ENTJ (still working on that) who is full of nothing but fear and has doors locked 100% of the time, a lot worse than me.
I feel comfort in knowing what tomorrow will be like, and things like car trouble and moving house freak me out big time, they're nightmare/anxiety producing events. I don't like it one bit. It's not fun.

The thought of having a men by my side out at night is extremely comforting but I doubt it's no more than any other female. Sure some women are confident and maybe trained in self defence, but that instinct is no doubt still there to feel secure from a male partner. *shrugs*.

I live a predictable life, most days are the same but from time to time I need to get out and see people and do stuff.. to throw caution to the wind and let it blow me in any which direction.

So yeah it's not something I see in myself more than the average introvert though in my video challenge I answered this question (when do you feel most secure) with "when I am alone". I guess in that sense I feel secure knowing that anything that is going to happen is going to happen because of me, not someone else.. someone that could be unpredictable or....anything!!!!!!!! *mind boggles*.

[Lady K]

I don't really know that we are more prone to seeking security - it was just a topic that came up in another thread and was sort of derailing it so I made another thread just to talk it out. :)

I think it's funny that your possible ENTJ mom is full of worries, when my ENTJ male is basically full of none. He essentially feels that worrying is a waste of time. Perhaps it's their enneagram that is accountable for the difference - my ENTJ is a 9.

[Hiccups24-7]

She watches too much TV.. the news etc.
There are people on the TV who I refer to as her friends. She doesn't think it's funny.

[krwheel]

I've really been contemplating this the last few days and I think my biggest issue with security is openness with people. People are unpredictable and make their own choices that are completely beyond my control just the same as things in nature, but I'm very driven by people. People can do things based off of how they feel about me. They can be kind, caring and supportive. Or they could be cold and calculating or even indifferent and incapable of understanding. I've gotten to where I can accept that disasters happen, cars break down, it might snow at the end of May (gotta love Utah), a job may be lost, classes may not be what I want them to be. None of that happen because someone doesn't care about me. But people. People can reject me. That's my biggest insecurity. That's what I strive for. But I don't think it's realistic. There will be some people that I'll be close to, but I really can't expect everyone to be interested in joining my reality. So that's kinda a conflict I experience in seeking security.

[Synister]

Excuse me for inquiring, but would you say that your desire for security could come from a desire to control?

Just a question

[krwheel]

Excuse me for inquiring, but would you say that your desire for security could come from a desire to control?

Just a question

They are quite possibly related. And I think that many people that are seeking security can become controlling. I don't think that control is the root of the issue though. It would seem to be a much deeper seeded issue and control would be more of a symptom.