[Hiccups24-7]

How do ISFJs view love?
love is joy, love is connection, love is peace, love is comfort.
Do you believe in finding the One, or a soulmate of some kind?
I believe we have the ability to connect with a lot of different people, just because we find someone who we feel is a soulmate doesn't mean there isn't someone else out there that isn't as perfect.
Do you value stability over passion?
A balance is ideal but is it realistic? I think so. It can work if you make it happen. If a relationship lost it's passion and it became noticeable I'd be looking for the closest defibrillator around.
Do you tend to settle for what you can easily have rather than look for your Ideal lover?
I'd gladly spend the rest of my life searching than to settle for second best, what ever that is.
Do you tend to keep a relationship going even if you're not "head over heels" in love with your partner?
I have in the past but I think I learnt my lesson on that, if the defibrillator didn't work then I'd call it.

[Probably Unresolved]

How do ISFJs view love?
Perhaps through some kind of common goal or shared interest two (or more) people become friends, and decide to make the commitment to eachother to preserve their relationship, enjoy life together, and enjoy eachother, making eachother happy and enriching eachother's lives, and helping eachother with priority when they are in need. Love is most importantly an understanding between people. For a relationship to work you need to understand eachother enough to get past any conflict, with your relationship becoming stronger from what doesn't kill it.
Do you believe in finding the One, or a soulmate of some kind?
It makes for a nice story, but as they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Restricting yourself to just "the one" can put you through a lot of stress if things start to turn rotten.
Do you value stability over passion?
Yes, but there still has to be a bit of passion involved. I'm not particularly good at hiding my negative feelings, and in a relationship without passion my own evident misery would more than likely upset the other person and it would just spiral downward from there.
Do you tend to settle for what you can easily have rather than look for your Ideal lover?
It really depends on how much I feel like the other person needs me. If someone takes an interest in me and I feel like they'd probably live through me telling them "thanks, but no thanks", I don't have much problem doing so; but if I know that it would hurt their feelings, I'd feel a bit guilty to say no. If I like them the least bit and I'm not with someone else, I'll say yes to see how it works out. I don't have a problem saying no if I dislike the person, though (which has happened before, because I was too nice to the guy). If I feel from the start I'd have no chance being happy at all myself while keeping the other person happy, I won't bother.
Do you tend to keep a relationship going even if you're not "head over heels" in love with your partner?
This kind of continues from the previous question, for me. If I become interested in someone while in a relationship with someone else, I feel guilty no matter what I do. I feel guilty for leaving the first person in the middle of a relationship, especially if there were no recent conflicts to serve as a reason - I wouldn't want to hurt that person and leave them upset with themselves wondering what they did wrong. Whether the reason is interest in someone else or "I just don't think I love you that much anymore", I tend to stay for this reason. But I would also feel guilty by hanging on to them but "cheating" as I pursue the second person. My greatest fear would be having no one left, because I'm afraid I burnt my bridge to the first person before failing with the second person.

[Scarlett_]

Stability or passion?

Always stability first. I need to feel secure before sharing my more impassioned side. Letting someone else see the things I feel passionate about... it seems like such a private thing. Before I let myself get swept up in the feelings, or let someone else see that side of me there needs to be that level of trust.

Perhaps your friends stays in the relationship because she feels safe with the routine. With that being said, perhaps there's also a side of her she only lets her boyfriend see. And although you're her friend, she doesn't necessarily let you see this side her. They may very well have a very passionate relationship, have secret inside jokes, have fun and enjoy time with each other, but keep it as a more private matter.

Key point being... though ISFJ are nurturing and friendly, they can also be very private people. They need stability before sharing that fun Fe side of their personalities.

[Stokholm]

How do ISFJs view love?
My mom (INTJ) always tells me that we have a choice over who we love. But for her, I think it was always about someone who she could work with (who ended up being my INFJ dad; typing unsure). For me, I've adopted that idea that we can choose who we love, otherwise how could we fall out of love and what would someone do if they couldn't choose and just loved the wrong person?
But I see love as a commitment, and almost a service in a way. Me being in love with someone means that I would be dedicated to them and value their happiness over everything else. Basically me saying, "I love you" would mean "I wish to give my life to your benefit and achieve you goals." This is going to sound weird, but go watch the movie Megamind (great movie) and notice how Minion doesn't have any goals of his own other than to help Megamind even though they aren't romantic in any way, and how Minion leaves when Megamind says "Well maybe I don't need you!"
Do you believe in finding the One, or a soulmate of some kind?
I'm going to refer to my parents again, my Dad was in charge of a summer camp and my Mom was a lead staff member their and they not only affected the camp in a major way, they affected summer camps across the country from conferences and meetings, the board of the camp association still refers to my Mom for changes to this day. Basically, they did more for summer camps then either could have alone. There is a person, or more than one person out there, that will help the other do more than previously capable.
Do you value stability over passion?
You ask this question like they can't exist simultaneously.
Do you tend to settle for what you can easily have rather than look for your Ideal lover?
There probably is one person out there for me that is perfect in every way that I see her, but she may be in Russia or Switzerland for all I know. But then there may be one person that would not be suited for me in any way whom I would find hideous inside and out. Then there is the gradient in between of various compatibility that would provide various results of appreciation.
Do you tend to keep a relationship going even if you're not "head over heels" in love with your partner?
We ISFJ's value being appreciated: that's how we know we are loved. We are also very selfless and think very little of ourselves and our own values (well we do, but our value is valuing others). So if we feel appreciated or that we are doing the person better by being in the relationship with them, then yes we will stay even if we aren't "head over heels."

But I read you post about your ISFJ-couple, and I can see how she chooses this, and how it is frustrating. I often worry myself by thinking that I might just settle for being single when getting married and having kids is something I really want. And as others have said, we like routine and hate new endeavors, especially when we are directed toward taking the wheel. So your ISFJ friend may be scared of being single again, that she may end up with someone who doesn't appreciate her or she may feel fulfilled caring for her BF even if she isn't in love or she may feel obligated to him. Or for all you know, they may be the wildest daring couple when it's just the two of them and they're too shy to admit it. That may not be the case, you know them better than I do. I'm just trying to give some different possibilities of what goes on in her head.

My advice, rather than just condemn the relationship, ask her what she sees in him and why she doesn't believe in love. Basically just get some perspective, and if it seems like she doesn't seem happy or can't think of any reason to keep it, than get her to realize this and inspire her to go for something new and possibly more fulfilling. And if she gets worried about being alone or worse off, let her know that you still care for and appreciate her even if it's not true.