[Destiny Lund]

Mine & my husband's best friend Dan(INFP, well-developed T) has been dating an ISFJ girl. We recently found out through some unfortunate events that she's a pathological liar(we're 99.99% sure, nothing else fits). I know she's an ISFJ(an unhealthy one at that), I could bet my life she's a 6w7. He's having trouble leaving her & is clinging on to the .01% of hope that she's not insane & a pathological liar. She's been bringing us all down with so much of her drama, her manipulations, & guilt trips- trying to tear our friendships apart & keep Dan all to herself. I have never dealt with a pathological liar, let alone an ISFJ one. Has anyone else dealt with a pathological liar? Have you ever heard of an ISFJ pathological liar? Any helpful hints/tips? She is so unhealthy in so many ways. She's way too stubborn, constantly changing her mind with serious issues, panicky, always has anxiety attacks, paranoid, controlling, WAY too clingy smothering Dan, always thinks the worst, & always tells these dramatic elaborate stories that don't fit whatsoever & ruining people's lives with it all. I'm sure she has more issues than being a pathological liar. She is 1 of the most negative people I have ever met. I guess I created this thread to see if there was a chance anyone has dealt with anything like this & to vent. THANX.

[teddy564339]

I think Dan would know much better than any of us. It sounds like he sees something in her that you don't. For me, if I don't get along with someone, I simply stop being around that person. For Dan, it sounds like there must be some reason why he wants to be with her. I can't imagine what that would be, but I have to assume there's something.

[Destiny Lund]

I think Dan would know much better than any of us. It sounds like he sees something in her that you don't. For me, if I don't get along with someone, I simply stop being around that person. For Dan, it sounds like there must be some reason why he wants to be with her. I can't imagine what that would be, but I have to assume there's something.

You got me, it's just a heart-breaking cycle. All he does is get into relationships with broken people who mentally abuse him & just because he holds onto a couple decent traits of the girl, he won't let go til the relationship goes to hell & HE becomes the broken one. He's grown up/matured in many ways, but he's still a magnet for unhealthy relationships & he always wonders why in the end. I have no clue though. :-(
I wasn't asking about what he sees in her though, I was wondering if anybody else has dealt with or had any advice about ISFJ pathological liars or pathological liars in general.

[teddy564339]

I wasn't asking about what he sees in her though, I was wondering if anybody else has dealt with or had any advice about ISFJ pathological liars or pathological liars in general.

Well, I offered that because I don't know how much of a response you're going to get here. As far as I can tell, I can't really see any connection between type and being a pathological liar. I don't even know how an ISFJ liar would be different than a liar of another type.

[Random00]

I don't really know how much help I can be (and I agree with teddy that I'm not entirely sure type affects how/why someone lies), but I use to be a bit of a pathological liar when I was younger. (Key words being "use to")

Really the only reason I did it was because I felt so utterly worthless. Lying seemed like the only option to keep someone interested in me long enough to solidify a friendship. Of course, once I started I couldn't really come clean because, I believed, they'd either no longer see me as interesting and leave, or leave because I lied to them. Of course by that point if was almost second nature to stretch the truth. It took a while for me to stop.

So... maybe she really likes him but is too self-defeatist to think she could interest him if she didn't lie/guilt trip everyone/etc.? And now she's too far in the hole to stop? Or she's just a really toxic person. I don't know.