It seems like you want to discuss a particular situation you're having. I can do that, but it will change my responses a bit:
Obviously, the windows should be shut when turning on the AC. If someone does not, I would assume that they forgot. You should remember that forgetting to do something isn't intentionally disregarding someone. So I would say, if you're going to get annoyed, get annoyed at the person's forgetfullness. It takes the bite off the action (or lack of) a bit.
Two things now:
1. If someone has to repeatedly ask me to do something, it's probably 'cause I forgot. It doesn't mean I don't respect you. I do feel bad if I forget something simple. Sometimes bluntness is needed, sometimes composure is required.
2. Having said that, when I have to repeatedly ask someone to do something, it really frustrates me. I have a pretty short temper, personally, so I'll normally blow up, but the incident usually blows over...
I don't need to discuss my feelings for 30 mins because someone reminded me to shut the AC off, however, I have to say that if resentment for other things has been building up, this could just be the last straw.
It is what it is. Not always rational, sometimes emotional.