What do ISFJs hate the most?

**friction** · 07-25-2012 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by DeadMilkman

So it's ok to be annoyed at someone for being blunt but it's not ok for the person being blunt to be annoyed at being disregarded. The "find more important things to get annoyed with" argument goes both ways here. Importance is relative, most would agree that having windows open on a hot day with the AC on is wasteful and just runs up the electric bill. IMO it doesn't warrant a 30 minute sit down discussion about feelings....it is what it is.

No, not exactly - it's okay both ways. But this thread is about what annoys ISFJs, and being commanded is what annoys me. Being disregarded also annoys me greatly, when it happens to me.

It seems like you want to discuss a particular situation you're having. I can do that, but it will change my responses a bit:

Obviously, the windows should be shut when turning on the AC. If someone does not, I would assume that they forgot. You should remember that forgetting to do something isn't intentionally disregarding someone. So I would say, if you're going to get annoyed, get annoyed at the person's forgetfullness. It takes the bite off the action (or lack of) a bit.

Two things now:

1. If someone has to repeatedly ask me to do something, it's probably 'cause I forgot. It doesn't mean I don't respect you. I do feel bad if I forget something simple. Sometimes bluntness is needed, sometimes composure is required.

2. Having said that, when I have to repeatedly ask someone to do something, it really frustrates me. I have a pretty short temper, personally, so I'll normally blow up, but the incident usually blows over...

I don't need to discuss my feelings for 30 mins because someone reminded me to shut the AC off, however, I have to say that if resentment for other things has been building up, this could just be the last straw.

It is what it is. Not always rational, sometimes emotional.

**DeadMilkman** · 07-25-2012 10:58 AM

Originally Posted by friction

No, not exactly - it's okay both ways. But this thread is about what annoys ISFJs, and being commanded is what annoys me. Being disregarded also annoys me greatly, when it happens to me.

It seems like you want to discuss a particular situation you're having. I can do that, but it will change my responses a bit:

Obviously, the windows should be shut when turning on the AC. If someone does not, I would assume that they forgot. You should remember that forgetting to do something isn't intentionally disregarding someone. So I would say, if you're going to get annoyed, get annoyed at the person's forgetfullness. It takes the bite off the action (or lack of) a bit.

Two things now:

1. If someone has to repeatedly ask me to do something, it's probably 'cause I forgot. It doesn't mean I don't respect you. I do feel bad if I forget something simple. Sometimes bluntness is needed, sometimes composure is required.

2. Having said that, when I have to repeatedly ask someone to do something, it really frustrates me. I have a pretty short temper, personally, so I'll normally blow up, but the incident usually blows over...

I don't need to discuss my feelings for 30 mins because someone reminded me to shut the AC off, however, I have to say that if resentment for other things has been building up, this could just be the last straw.

It is what it is. Not always rational, sometimes emotional.

That's fair. The only reason I engaged the idea is because I'm married to a very forgetful ISFJ. Things like this happen often so it does get frustrating for us both. The intention wasn't to annoy you, but an effort to help me understand different ways of thinking.

**brownbear** · 07-25-2012 03:26 PM

Peoples that are arrogant, vanity (no substance), ignorant, pretentious, dishonest, opportunistic, bad motives, dominant is okay but do not control every single thing that I do, controlling, loud and aggressive, violent, showy.