[teddy564339]

I think sometimes every type can get hung up on the difficulties of being that particular type. Every type has weaknesses, and these weaknesses lead to obstacles in life, particularly when dealing with other types. And I think sometimes it's easy to feel like these difficulties get overwhelming, and you start to wonder what it's like to be another type. It's not necessarily having a "pity party" or using type as an excuse, but it's a feeling of frustration of being someone of your own type. I think everyone feels this at least from time to time.


But I also think this is a situation of the grass being greener on the other side. It's easy to see someone of another type and think that life would be much easier if you were their type. But you don't always see the difficulties that come along with being that type.


The last piece to all of this, though, is that sometimes I think it's easy to take things for granted as your type. I think every type has natural advantages. But it's easy to forget about these because you get so used to them. I think ISJs in particular have a way of assuming that other people are like them in this regard..sometimes we assume that everyone has our natural advantages that we don't even notice.




So I wanted to look in this a little more in this thread. Other types are welcome to chime in with what they see are the advantages that ISFJs have. But I'm curious to hear what ISFJs think the advantages of being an ISFJ are.

This isn't quite like the "what are you proud of" thread...because I'm focusing more on the things that come naturally to us, rather than the things that we've had to work hard to achieve.


So I guess I'll start.



-I think it's easier for ISFJs to do what's needed in a work environment. Usually we're not ones to stir up drama or go against the rules of an establishment, and that makes it easier for employers to work with us. So, we usually don't have to worry about having problems at work because of a need to fix everything or stir things up.


-I think we're pretty good at doing repetitive tasks...everyone has to do these at some point in life, and we're pretty good at that.


-In general I think we're easy to get along with...we usually don't have a problem finding peaceful solutions to conflicts and this makes it easier for us to work with other people.


-We're pretty reliable, so we don't have to worry so much about other people feeling like they can't count on us.


-We don't usually have too many extravagant needs. We tend to be satisfied with simpler things in life, so we usually don't end up going on a never-ending quest to find something new and exciting.






These are just the things that I can think of. I'm curious to hear what else others can think of.

[NineTypesOfLight]

Great idea for a thread! We've been needing one of these. Here's some more, I hope these relate to you guys as well...

- Empathy — arguably the ISFJ's signature trait. We usually try our best to completely ignore things that might be a source of insecurity for others, and we seldom make things uncomfortable intentionally. Quite on the contrary, we're always hoping for everyone to enjoy themselves and to have the best time possible with each other, even if we aren't obvious about it.

- "Best friend" personality — we're always there for the people we like and we're always available to listen to them. We make an effort not to talk about ourselves too much and to keep complaining about our own troubles to a minimum. We're extremely in tune with others' interests and preferences so we're extremely good at giving gifts and making others feel better as well.

- Strong dislike of conflict — to us, the best solutions to problems (especially between people) are ones that provide understanding for everyone, as soon as possible. We don't like confrontation but if there's a problem we will try and solve it, even if it means talking about it.

- Being friendly without being smothering — we care, but we're not obvious about it (because that's obnoxious and can get to be too much). Caring is best when it's done in moderation, and good intentions should never be made too obvious because others can take advantage of it. Deep down we want everyone to enjoy themselves and for harmony to be present in most situations.

- Detail-orientated — comes in handy in a work environment because we easily spot what could be improved. It's also typical for us to be told that we have "good taste" because we know what is aesthetically pleasing and what others will find visually appealing.

- Emphasized positive emotions — feeling good is one of the greatest things in the world especially if it's "well deserved," therefore when we're happy, we're extremely happy, and nice to be around.

- Flexible personality — we're almost always "down for whatever." As long as the people we're with are content, we're most likely to also feel content. Being overly demanding isn't beneficial for anyone, and if someone has an idea of what they want to do, we're more likely than not up for it.

- Willingness to admit weakness — blaming other people is something we don't like to do and if we notice a weakness in ourselves we can readily admit to it. I know if I fuck something up I can easily own up to it (and possibly apologize) without having to force myself to do it.

[teddy564339]

- Empathy — arguably the ISFJ's signature trait. We usually try our best to completely ignore things that might be a source of insecurity for others, and we seldom make things uncomfortable intentionally. Quite on the contrary, we're always hoping for everyone to enjoy themselves and to have the best time possible with each other, even if we aren't obvious about it.

Yeah, I think this is true as long as the ISFJ feels confident in themselves and doesn't let their Si stand in the way of their Fe. I think when we're able to enjoy ourselves, then we're in a really good spot to help support others and help them enjoy themselves too. We have hurting people and we love seeing others happy...as long as we're already happy and healthy ourselves. It's when we're not in a happy place ourselves that we can't do this for others.

- "Best friend" personality — we're always there for the people we like and we're always available to listen to them. We make an effort not to talk about ourselves too much and to keep complaining about our own troubles to a minimum. We're extremely in tune with others' interests and preferences so we're extremely good at giving gifts and making others feel better as well.

Yeah, this is a lot like the first one...if an ISFJ is in a bad place in their lives, then they'll probably get into a rut of complaining and not fixing their problems. But...when an ISFJ is in a positive place, then we're really good at listening to others and making their lives better.

- Strong dislike of conflict — to us, the best solutions to problems (especially between people) are ones that provide understanding for everyone, as soon as possible. We don't like confrontation but if there's a problem we will try and solve it, even if it means talking about it.

While sometimes this can be a disadvantage, I think sometimes people forget how our dislike of conflict can often lead to solutions to resolve the conflict.

- Being friendly without being smothering — we care, but we're not obvious about it (because that's obnoxious and can get to be too much). Caring is best when it's done in moderation, and good intentions should never be made too obvious because others can take advantage of it. Deep down we want everyone to enjoy themselves and for harmony to be present in most situations.

Once again, if an ISFJ is in a bad place where they don't feel good about themselves, then they will get dependent upon others for validation and can smother them. However, if an ISFJ has the right amount of confidence, then we're very good at being supportive while not overwhelming someone like an extrovert might.

- Detail-orientated — comes in handy in a work environment because we easily spot what could be improved. It's also typical for us to be told that we have "good taste" because we know what is aesthetically pleasing and what others will find visually appealing.

Yep. While I have no talent for aesthetics, I am very detail oriented and am good at keeping things organized and in place.

- Emphasized positive emotions — feeling good is one of the greatest things in the world especially if it's "well deserved," therefore when we're happy, we're extremely happy, and nice to be around.

Yeah, I tend to forget about this one, and it's very true for me. A lot of times I think people don't see this in ISFJs...we tend to control our emotions, and I don't think people realize how extremely happy we are when we reach a really good spot. It goes back to being satisfied like I mentioned in the OP.

- Flexible personality — we're almost always "down for whatever." As long as the people we're with are content, we're most likely to also feel content. Being overly demanding isn't beneficial for anyone, and if someone has an idea of what they want to do, we're more likely than not up for it.

This is another Fe vs. Si situation. If we can use our Fe to overcome our Si, it makes us much more adaptable and easy to et along with. It's when our Si is too strong that we become too stubborn and demanding.

- Willingness to admit weakness — blaming other people is something we don't like to do and if we notice a weakness in ourselves we can readily admit to it. I know if I fuck something up I can easily own up to it (and possibly apologize) without having to force myself to do it.

I know I'm sounding like a broken record here, but again, when an ISFJ is healthy (and feel comfortable with people) then we are very good at being open about our faults. It's when we have confidence issues and are down on ourselves that we become too scared to admit our problems out of fear out of being viewed as weak. But I think ISFJs tend to like being transparent about their faults if they feel comfortable with someone.

[NineTypesOfLight]

@teddy564339, I agree with everything you said. It does require being in a good place for an ISFJ to be the "best" version of themselves. In my earlier post I was describing the characteristics of a healthy ISFJ because I was focusing solely on the positive sides of our type. :) If an ISFJ is in a bad place, they can easily be rid of most of those positive qualities. I believe the same goes for all types.

[teddy564339]

@teddy564339, I agree with everything you said. It does require being in a good place for an ISFJ to be the "best" version of themselves. In my earlier post I was describing the characteristics of a healthy ISFJ because I was focusing solely on the positive sides of our type. :) If an ISFJ is in a bad place, they can easily be rid of most of those positive qualities. I believe the same goes for all types.

Yeah, I didn't meant to discount any of the points you made, since I do see ISFJs doing them. I just also thought of some of the frustrations other types have mentioned about having with ISFJs, and usually I think it's because those ISFJs aren't doing the things you mentioned. And in so many of those cases I think it's a matter of Si dominating Fe too much.


But it's like you said...this is true for any type. If they're healthy, the positives will shine through much more than the negatives, and ISFJs do have particular positives that other types don't naturally have, even when they're healthy.

[emily64]

One of my favorites is our incredible memory, which goes along with attention to detail. I can remember some events so clearly and go back to them, which I do a lot when I'm feeling down to cheer myself up. I can look at a photo and remember what was going on around the time of the photo, why people were laughing, and details like that, and it's all so clear that I can feel the same as I felt then all over again. I love remembering things so well and retelling them, but I'm often disappointed when other people don't remember them, which isn't fair usually because they're not wired to take note of everything the way I am. I'll probably be very sad if I ever get Alzheimer's or something because I'm so sentimental.

[stephiphi]

I absolutely adore this thread.


Simple desires - We don't need a lot to be happy, so we can be fulfilled with relatively little and then be in a good place to give it right back to people we love. I also lose myself in the little things around me sometimes - I can transport into a different mindset just watching droplets falling on my umbrella or the way ice crystallized onto a twisting vine or the way a particular person carries herself that day. If those indirect little things can bring me some bit of calm, then how much more effective is something good that happens directly to me?

[Wakachi]

My SJ uncle was given a huge rump up the corporal ladders as an accountant.

Why?

Because he doesn't lie or bitch.

[kittychris07]

I feel like I have nothing new to add here, because all of the advantages have been summed up pretty well.

I guess because of our Fe, we may more likely to see the best in people or not be too critical of them. This may make us more accepting of others and be able to get along with them better. Personally, I like most people, and people have to do a lot to make me really dislike them.

But that also is a double-edged sword, because I have found that I have gone from liking someone to hating them (because I was resentful for having to put up with their behavior). I don't think I ever really dislike anyone, because dislike would be too weak a word for hatred. Usually when I switch to hating them, it's because they pushed me too far. At the point of hating someone, it's impossible to resolve a conflict (because I have made a negative judgment about them), but I wouldn't bother to try to solve the conflict while I liked the person more because I would be very easily forgiving and accommodating and assume the person had good intentions.

[emily64]

I absolutely adore this thread.


Simple desires - We don't need a lot to be happy, so we can be fulfilled with relatively little and then be in a good place to give it right back to people we love. I also lose myself in the little things around me sometimes - I can transport into a different mindset just watching droplets falling on my umbrella or the way ice crystallized onto a twisting vine or the way a particular person carries herself that day. If those indirect little things can bring me some bit of calm, then how much more effective is something good that happens directly to me?

This makes me think of how I try to get my friends to smile. I used to do it all the time. I'd just be watching TV with my best friend or doing something normal like that and I'd just turn to her and tell her to smile and that just made me so happy for some reason.