New ENFP obsessed with "shazaam" people / IN/STJ / superior who told me to "obey"

I love this forum. Every time I do a Google search on a question, the answer ends up here or typology.com. I've had problems with love and problems personalities with job - and for me, and what I find out is true for ENFPs in general, that's just death.

I used to see people as one fluffy mass, with those I love as prominent. Like the sacred and the profane. Everyone gets kind treatment - but the "shazaam" people are those who stay with me forever. Does anyone else pick their friends like that - there's just a spark, and that's it? For me, once the spark happens, I want to keep them because it usually lasts. Not sure if it's because I've made up my mind that they stay, or that they're meant to stay.

I've been trying to be in a relationship with an INTJ for two years. First he breaks up with me after I've spilled our woes to a friend - the ultimate violation for an INTJ I later find out - and then he states "You're red and I'm blue." Meaning - he's rational and I'm not. Then he woos me for 1.5 years with alternate hot and cold, between "friendship" and then, if I try to date others, finally showing his underbelly and wanting a relationship - his voice breaks, which it never does because he is Mr. MBA Thinker. Finally, I threw a temper tantrum and basically said, "No more - out of my life." Because the hot/cold thing is just - awful. I need him THERE. After - I found this site - and I understand better. Though that relationship is just - too him as Big Voice and me trying to match Big Voice.

At work, I am dealing with an ESTJ or ESFJ who has been raised to a superior position - I needed her as a SME lawyer for my training scripts, and now she is VP and therefore not giving me information I need - and is taking over my creative work and letting me basically edit. I don't know how to deal because she has just cut off communication and actually said the words to me "Come on, you know that's not true" and "You disobeyed." And - I don't know how to salvage a collaborative relationship with either of those statements on the table.

And I'm semi-dating an ISTJ - but he's so not going to put up with my crazy long e-mails and mixed-up mind once those are revealed. He's too stable and methodical. Wonder when I can reveal self without it driving him - or any non-N's - away?

That's all - I may start threads of questions later if they're worthwhile.

It's nice to meet all of you.

Jennifer

Welcome,

It sounds like the two of you have different ideas of what you want in relationship and it is causing lots of problems. This girl at work sounds like a real class act. I wonder if it is all because of the promotion she earned?

I hope you can find some answers to your problems.

Welcome! I hope you find answers to your problems.

Welcome to PersonalityCafe, Jennifer :).

Have to agree on what Curlyfusion already said in regard to your INTJ relationship: Sounds to me like too different ideas on a relationship.
But sounds like you're over him (?), so not that much to worry about ^^.
Oh and yeah the typical ESxx INxx clash...Maybe you might hand those guys some books about introverts :D.

Enjoy your stay!

Welcome to the forum

Welcome to PerC where every type are nice people

Omg i fucking love the title, so crazy. Welcome to this place

@writejen

Interesting first post, you'll do great here in the cafe - welcome! See you out there!

Shazaam!

Welcome to PerC @writejen