is it possible for this infj to be understood?!? - Page 2

is it possible for this infj to be understood?!?

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This is a discussion on is it possible for this infj to be understood?!? within the Intro forums, part of the Personality Cafe category; ...

  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetSurrender View Post
    amanda32 is pretty cool. You could get to know her. Give it a try. ;) She's been interviewed on camera by an INFJ and their discussion was really insightful. I won't make any generalized statements about her MBTI because, why? She's Amanda, after all, not her MBTI ;)

    Seriously if we all met in person I'd just triangle hug you two and the oxytocin would help youz more noticeably chillax.

    Welcome to the forum!

    No, I don't have any cookies. D: and I don't care if any of you understand me so long as my INFP best friend does, so there. : *pbbbbth!*
    thanks for your post, SweetSurrender. (btw: i love sarah mclachlan & tori amos!)

    i truly don't doubt that amanda32 would be pretty cool to those who know her. but i don't know her, and her post above reads to be judgmental to and of me (outside of what her MBTI may be). and i hold no ill-feelings toward her.

    i get that online communications can be subjectively misread or misunderstood, but regardless of how this thread may read, i don't feel "worked up" (ie - triggered) about it. however, i do admit that i was discouraged by reading her comment because I had read that this forum is "friendly" and "understanding"... things i was hoping i would experience here (and still hope to).

    i enjoy making connections, but i'm old enough that i don't have any real desire to go out of my way to get to know someone who has shown a lack of understanding for me without (in my view) just cause. that all said, thank you again and i do very much appreciate your thoughts and for welcoming me, SweetSurrender.

    YAY for you and for having a best friend who understands you! to feel connected and understood is a true, precious treasure! but can you help me understand what you meant by "no, i don't have any cookies"??

  2. #12

    Quote Originally Posted by amanda32 View Post
    Yeah, you guys could try explaining the way you feel and why instead of sticking your heads in your shell and then whining about how no one understands yous.
    Why so harsh on the new member? Don't greet people that way.


    ----------------------
    @squishfish , welcome to PerC! :)

    I hope you have a fun time here and can find the answers to your questions.
    Watercolourful and squishfish thanked this post.

  3. #13

    Hey Squish! Welcome to PerC, I'm a noob too.
    squishfish thanked this post.

  4. #14

    Quote Originally Posted by squishfish View Post
    i ask this out of absolute curiosity (truly not being antagonistic at all): can you please share what you mean by "NF sounds like a bad combination to me"?
    Well, for me, who's likely an INTJ, Ni means I know something without actually knowing it, and the Te is my only saving grace. The NF doesnt have that T though, so they may be more inclined to believe they're right when they're just intuiting things based off how they judge the world. Except, when you can't go back and reflect objectively, you can't correct for bias, which can lead to poor conclusions and misguided reactions.

    P would probably make an INFx somewhat more open to new experiences, but I'm not sure since I have limited experience with the different types, and haven't gone to the effort of reading online material. And I mean that as a disclaimer.

  5. #15

    Quote Originally Posted by snqrls View Post
    can you help me understand what you meant by "no, i don't have any cookies"??
    Oh, um, well, *thinks* it's customary to bring a plate of baked goodies to people who recently move in, y'know? Like, new neighbors y'know? It's something my mom always did as a welcoming gesture and opportunity to introduce herself, her family, and get to know the other person. I don't do it, myself. So, no cookies from me. D: I'm the hermit who doesn't bake. I'd sooner ask what kind of beverage a person likes and offer to make it for them, go out with them to get one some time, etc.

    What's your "cup of tea"? ^___^

  6. #16

    @JoSue0098 - mighty kind of you! thank you for stopping in and for the warm welcome. :)
    @heyariwhatsup - whatsup fellow noob? good to meet you!

  7. #17

    Quote Originally Posted by snqrls View Post
    Well, for me, who's likely an INTJ, Ni means I know something without actually knowing it, and the Te is my only saving grace. The NF doesnt have that T though, so they may be more inclined to believe they're right when they're just intuiting things based off how they judge the world. Except, when you can't go back and reflect objectively, you can't correct for bias, which can lead to poor conclusions and misguided reactions.

    P would probably make an INFx somewhat more open to new experiences, but I'm not sure since I have limited experience with the different types, and haven't gone to the effort of reading online material. And I mean that as a disclaimer.
    firstly, sngrls, thank you for coming back and taking the time to respond to my question. because i don't experience the NF in my personality as a deficit, i was curious as to your point of view.

    i'll start with a disclaimer also in that i'm not nearly as versed in types for me to comment on anything other than what i have read about the infj type as it relates to me. but i'll take a stab at it since i am noticing an interest within myself to explore these ideas.

    it seems to me that your original comment "nf sounds like a bad combination" is based on the value of objectivity and potentially the perceived devaluing of feelings, as well as the subjective idea of how there may be universal "rights" and "wrongs".

    if all things are equal, in that NFs ONLY based their understand of the world only on feelings, then there certainly would be a bias for the NF to experience the world in a felt way. however, it can similarly be argued that the Te who bases their understanding on logic or rationale alone would have a bias for only seeing the world through thoughts. of course, i think we can agree, that our lived experiences as human beings includes a combination of thinking and feeling, which is a unique combination in all of us. in other words, any one quality in the extreme can result in some potential challenges to an individual's experience and also that the idea of what's "right" and what's "wrong" is generally quite individualistic based on the built-in biases we all have.

    in my case, the strong feeling aspects of me have been and can be quite powerful at times. and surely, there have been many, many times that i have engaged in overly "emotional" decision making. while it has taken me a long time, i have learned to develop the F tendency in my character to have a better understanding of myself and others.

    with all that, in my particular case, i love the NF combination for me. :)

  8. #18

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetSurrender View Post
    Oh, um, well, *thinks* it's customary to bring a plate of baked goodies to people who recently move in, y'know? Like, new neighbors y'know? It's something my mom always did as a welcoming gesture and opportunity to introduce herself, her family, and get to know the other person. I don't do it, myself. So, no cookies from me. D: I'm the hermit who doesn't bake. I'd sooner ask what kind of beverage a person likes and offer to make it for them, go out with them to get one some time, etc.

    What's your "cup of tea"? ^___^
    how lovely! i did have a passing thought that perhaps you were referring to a neighbourly welcoming tradition of offering goodies, but i wasn't sure. and when i'm not sure, i ask!!

    while i very much ADORE cookies (despite being *mostly* paleo), i am just as happy and feeling welcomed that you have come by to kindly acknowledge my new presence here.

    but if we are sitting down for a beverage, i would have a green tea... or how i start my day off everyday is by whipping up a bulletproof coffee. :) what will you be having?

  9. #19

    Quote Originally Posted by squishfish View Post
    firstly, sngrls, thank you for coming back and taking the time to respond to my question. because i don't experience the NF in my personality as a deficit, i was curious as to your point of view.

    i'll start with a disclaimer also in that i'm not nearly as versed in types for me to comment on anything other than what i have read about the infj type as it relates to me. but i'll take a stab at it since i am noticing an interest within myself to explore these ideas.

    it seems to me that your original comment "nf sounds like a bad combination" is based on the value of objectivity and potentially the perceived devaluing of feelings, as well as the subjective idea of how there may be universal "rights" and "wrongs".

    if all things are equal, in that NFs ONLY based their understand of the world only on feelings, then there certainly would be a bias for the NF to experience the world in a felt way. however, it can similarly be argued that the Te who bases their understanding on logic or rationale alone would have a bias for only seeing the world through thoughts. of course, i think we can agree, that our lived experiences as human beings includes a combination of thinking and feeling, which is a unique combination in all of us. in other words, any one quality in the extreme can result in some potential challenges to an individual's experience and also that the idea of what's "right" and what's "wrong" is generally quite individualistic based on the built-in biases we all have.

    in my case, the strong feeling aspects of me have been and can be quite powerful at times. and surely, there have been many, many times that i have engaged in overly "emotional" decision making. while it has taken me a long time, i have learned to develop the F tendency in my character to have a better understanding of myself and others.

    with all that, in my particular case, i love the NF combination for me. :)
    Why are all you people so amicable. It makes me feel emotionally deficient in some way. Cause it's like you're better than us without even trying. SEriously, if I could admire something, it's how some personalities take conflict and neutralize it

    Anyway, with the bold you pretty much captured what I was thinking about myself, so ya, you're right. Though for the record, I dislike emotions for myself cause I can't trust them, and I dislike them in other people cause it makes for a lot of inanities in society; I definitely love and appreciate the feeler types for how genuine they are, but there's always a flipside.

  10. #20

    Quote Originally Posted by snqrls View Post
    Why are all you people so amicable. It makes me feel emotionally deficient in some way. Cause it's like you're better than us without even trying. SEriously, if I could admire something, it's how some personalities take conflict and neutralize it

    Anyway, with the bold you pretty much captured what I was thinking about myself, so ya, you're right. Though for the record, I dislike emotions for myself cause I can't trust them, and I dislike them in other people cause it makes for a lot of inanities in society; I definitely love and appreciate the feeler types for how genuine they are, but there's always a flipside.
    aww snqrls, a charmer, are you? my bet is that you're not emotionally deficient, although maybe somewhat emotionally discomforted! (and let's face it, emotions can certainly be discomforting, so who isn't emotionally discomforted at least some of the time?)

    i will share that i have been engaged intensely in my own personal development for a very, very long time... and let me also say: i've come a looooooooong way.

    it's my opinion that it's unfortunate in many ways that there is generally a lack of focus/education on emotional development. if we have to learn how to learn and how to exercise our bodies, why don't we learn how to develop (rather than deny and/or disavow) our emotions? it's puzzling to me!

    anyhoo, one of my favourite expressions is that "there's two sides to every coin", so you summarized my philosophy that "there's always a flipside". yes sir, there always is.
    Sweetish thanked this post.


 
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