[Penquisitor]

I have had this issue. Though, frankly speaking I just tend to mirror the way people are feeling around me in any given situation as to fit in when I myself might just be feeling nothing, which is actually most of the time, and in the end I'm not really affected by it. However, in the same manner I've had people call me out because they thought I was depressed when, again, I was feeling nothing. I've had everyone in my house hold, including my half-brothers, one day just starting to ask me if I was okay which struck me as odd at first until my father eventually filled me in on what everyone was thinking.



This however is a completely different issue. It annoys me that us introverts can seem depressed or anti-social because we like to spend time alone. Given my age (19) people usually just think of me that way because I'm supposedly in that time of my life where I'm meant to go out with friends and have 'fun'. Sadly the definition of 'fun' in a world dominated by extroversion isn't the same as my definition of fun and whenever I want to be left alone with my own thoughts I am pestered by people who don't seem to understand how I function. Apparently I'm expected to go out, and either get drunk with 'friends' or dance in nightclubs. Although I do enjoy alcohol I tend to moderate the amount I take in at any given moment because I simply enjoy being lucid. Now my main problem are the nightclubs that I'm supposed to go to. Not only is the music too loud and not a type of music I enjoy, it's too crowded and I just feel like I don't even fit in there. I'd much rather be doing something else.

Apparently some people think that not going out at night at all means you have no social life when I am quite content with the little social interactions I do have with my very small number of friends during day time. Others would say that what I just described would be cutting loose and that I am too reserved, but if it's not something I enjoy it is not cutting loose at least for me, again a stereotype enforced by a world dominated by extroversion. I am not implying that all people my age should be doing is going out clubbing by the way, but given the age of my half-brothers who are quite extroverted and spend all of their weekends going to parties(and trying to pull me along with them) it's what I'm pestered about the most and the example that came to mind the sooner. I actually spent about five minutes after writing the main chunk of text thinking about another example but eventually I just got tired and decided to move on to something else.

[nadjasix]

Then managers and executives and whatnot tell me I'm a lazy piece of shit who needs more discipline, and it increases my self-hatred.

Bartleby the Scrivener.

I feel you, brutha. My response is to just not do any of it. None. I refuse to work, fuck it. Just no.

[Belovodia]

Thanks op for this revelation, I will no longer feel inadequate around introverted thinkers.

I always felt inadequate around my istj mother, but it never occurred to me that she might
feel emotionally inferior around me.

It's a huge relief knowing that every type has their insecurities; I used to think that infp's
were the only ones with all these hangups - feeling that logic was considered superior by
the cultural norms.

[Ablysmal]

Thanks op for this revelation, I will no longer feel inadequate around introverted thinkers.

I always felt inadequate around my istj mother, but it never occurred to me that she might
feel emotionally inferior around me.

It's a huge relief knowing that every type has their insecurities; I used to think that infp's
were the only ones with all these hangups - feeling that logic was considered superior by
the cultural norms.

Neither logic nor emotions are superior IMO. They have to work in a synchronized manner to reap the best outcome.

And of course every type has insecurities. Typed or not, people are people, and everyone feels emotionally inadequate from time to time.

[Belovodia]

Neither logic nor emotions are superior IMO. They have to work in a synchronized manner to reap the best outcome.

And of course every type has insecurities. Typed or not, people are people, and everyone feels emotionally inadequate from time to time.

You misunderstood the tone of my post - what can I say; just the difference between Ti and Fi

[TrailMix]

I've never really had that problem... I'm actually really expressive of my emotions if they're positive emotions.

HOWEVER, I hide ALL of my negative emotions which is good and bad in a lot of ways... I've never felt inadequate though, it's always been a conscious choice for me, but has now become more of a habit. I'm unable to express more than an ounce of negativity in a social setting without feeling awful or having to cut myself off

[OMG WTF BRO]

I do have trouble showing emotion on a superficial level, and I really can't comfort someone I'm not close with. It's like I truly don't comprehend what they're saying.

But if I really care about someone I don't have trouble listening to them and I try to let them know I care. There are a few people IRL and even on;line that know I will listen to THEM and them alone if they have a problem, because I'm very selective about who's problems I will listen to.

I just believe that a lot of emotions people have are not necessary (yes, I know I sound like a douchebag) but once I sense a person is similar to me and that we have a real connection I take their feelings seriously because I know they aren't drama queens. So I can be pretty attentive, and I try to be caring.

[dileep]

You see.. Its such a paradox that I am an extremely emotional person and yet I am uncomfortable at times expressing them in a way I want. I am moved by even small things but I sometimes lack the expression verbally. Maybe actions are after all so much better than words for someone like me..

[Dimensional Transition]

Bartleby the Scrivener.

I feel you, brutha. My response is to just not do any of it. None. I refuse to work, fuck it. Just no.

Oh sweet irony. Today I have been 'punished' for being too late, yet again. I couldn't help it, there was a traffic jam, but of course, I didn't even get the chance to explain. I think they just don't believe me anymore. So now, for a week I have to stay 2-3 hours longer at school every day, and arrive an hour earlier... If anything, it only makes me hate the educational system and people in general more and more. This whole thing is a waste of my precious, precious time. I actually have this weird tension all through my body that's telling me to punch through windows and beat some fuckers up. I guess an emotional outrage is waiting for a moment to break through. I hate people with positions that are 'higher' than me without deserving it. Tradition is for dumbasses. The man who punished me has not earned any of my respect yet, so I do not respect his decision of giving me this punishment to any degree. If it seemed fair, and I'd genuinely crossed some line, fine, I would accept my punishment, but this ridiculous bullshit makes me rage. Fuck people with undeserved positions of authority.

Only a year left and I'll be freed from this ridiculous system of weird old people trying to make young people's lives miserable. Such a waste of time, it's terrible. I can't wait to just join a group of artists/illustrators and make some art and hopefully at least enough money to live from. I won't have to deal with executives or 'principals' or whatever again. Sadly, this scenario seems highly unlikely. Very depressing.

I think the problem (sorry if there is overlap) is that we try to understand emotions from a logical standpoint.

It's like trying to make a 4 banger as powerful as a V8; it can be done, but it takes a lot of time and effort and planning, and in the end the V8 will still be more adept at being powerful since it just is by design.

We don't "get" emotions; we understand them, then mimic.

Us and emotions= running an OS through a virtual machine.

Them and emotions= running an OS directly from the hardware.




x01660

This doesn't apply to me at all.

I definitely 'feel' emotions and always have. I've never mimicked them. That actually sounds really unhealthy, just mimicking emotions. I do analyze my emotions from a logical standpoint, but that does not mean I don't get them or don't feel them.

[Jennywocky]

I'm wondering if other INTPs sometimes suffer from feelings of inadequacy as introverted thinkers.

Sometimes I feel like people expect me to be more emotionally expressive than I'm capable of. Someone's either going through a really hard time or has cause for celebration and wants me to be able to show that I'm really happy/sad for them, but I just don't operate like that.

Yeah. I can empathize deeply with someone (I can intuitively project "into them" and see the world through their eyes by imaging all the various things they might be going through, then sifting through it by listening to what they say and just keeping the stuff that seems to be at play with them), but I feel badly that I can't give them "raw emotional support." I mean, I am who I am. I'm calm, unflustered, easy-going and laughing a lot but just not one to get mushy or exude a lot of touchy-feelly "awwww" stuff; the former is my strength, even if it prevents me for projecting the raw goo of emotion.

I show my concern for people treating them kindly; listening to their problems; figuring out who they are and respecting and honoring that; encouring them to be more of who they are; opening their eyes to new possibilities; and providing solid and timely advice without being a bitch about it, I want to empower them but not control them. That's how I show love. But it's not typically an emotional display. Sometimes it leaves people wondering how I feel emotionally about them, since I express my love through more rational/intuitive ways.

I'm currently rooming with an extrovert (I think she's an ESFJ, with South American sensibilities, she's from there), so there's a lot of emotion flowing around. She's actually very receptive to who I am, but in our time of living together, I've definitely gotten the impression that I confuse her because I don't have these big emotional responses and she will misread my interest at first because I don't engage her nearly as much as she engages me. I'm really happy to be in my room much of the time and not constantly be talking to her, and it doesn't mean at all that I don't like her; I just don't extrovert my feelings naturally.

Especially in relationships, I sometimes feel like I cannot emotionally satisfy my partner because I'm not capable of throwing logic out the window. Even in love, things need to make sense, and I don't respond to the emotional manipulation which some people think is part and parcel with relationship turf.

That too. I spent 15 years before my separation in a relationship with an ISFJ, and I felt so inadequate; for everything I excelled at with my intuition and thinking skills, emotionally I felt completely unable to give my ex what was needed to create an emotional aura of caring and concern. We were speaking different languages. And it wasn't like I did not try, I agonized over it because I wanted so badly to make it work... but... I can't be something I'm not.

Deep Dark Secret #153: I feel really jealous sometimes of women who can operate at that level. I feel ignored by most men because they are looking for "most women" and not for someone like me. It has left me at times wrestling with my own femininity and who I am as a woman. Frustrating. But like I've said a few times, I am who I am.