[Miss Scarlet]

This is a little off topic. But I think it applies nicely.

[Ablysmal]

I got out of my head. Lol
That should tell you where the problem actually was.

O_o how do you do such a thing?

All I imagine is this



so you can then examine what went wrong within your own brain.

[Agent Blackout]

O_o how do you do such a thing?

All I imagine is this



so you can then examine what went wrong within your own brain.

Lol! Reality is a bitch. But it's a fun game.

[Incorporeal]

I'm in a mild state of existentialism almost every day. It's not really a crisis... just a prolonged and unpleasant malaise. I haven't dealt with it, I just keep on living, and then I suppose one day I won't. I've never really felt assaulted by existential thoughts, and if I ever was I just forgot about it.

I relate to this. ". . . a prolonged and unpleasant state of malaise" is a great way to describe what I feel. I did have a crisis at one point, though. If nowadays may be likened to living in inclement weather, my crisis' analogue is actually being struck by lightning. Perhaps at present I feel my hair standing up, still singeing in the uncomfortable, protracted aftermath.

[tangosthenes]

poorly....

[qingdom]

O_o how do you do such a thing? ... All I imagine is this.

[Ablysmal]

I feel bad for the poor sucker that gets my brain.

[blackacidlizzard]

Well...

I didn't pull the trigger.

*shrug*

[intpblogger]

My first one must have happened sometime around the age of 13, when I was dealing with depression (unknown cause-- triggered by either puberty or moving to a different country, or just from being an INTP I guess). I worked through it by forgetting about it I guess-- like someone already said, concentrating on keeping my mind busy on other things such as work, trying to live up to my version of "successful", eventually falling in love and getting married (all things that I guess keep the Ti-Fe loop happy), and maintaining my obsession with work (neuroscience). You'll be surprised how "falling in love" can mask your inner dark side.

Long story short-- I was working towards my PhD in a different city to where my husband worked and I "accidently" fell in love or went limerent over a younger student in the lab. Looking back on the experience, it seems like he spoke directly to my Ti-Fe axis-- he was a charmer who valued and respected me, even admired me and "needed" me to teach him things. I "enjoyed" and even "got high off of" the frequent intellectual conversations/debates on any scientific topic under the sun (but would effectively tune-out for any other discussion). Moving back with my husband and the great pain and heartache I experienced being separated from my limerent object, even when logic told me that I loved my husband and would never logically consider being with this person and that the whole thing was just an awful mistake on my mind's part, eventually led to my decision to crawl myself out of that frightful experience. But, it came with the sudden realization that I had acted completely against what I thought were my values, I lost some of my deep seated assumptions about marriage, love, monogamy, I "lost" my identity, sense of self and meaning in life (crisis #2). This eventually led me to typology and to this forum. I'm going to try to write about my thoughts and personal experiences here (wordpress blog called neuroscienceofpersonality). But, give me some time and patience as I work through my thoughts (going back over every decision/experience of my 29 year life). I'd love to hear from others that have "discovered themselves" through love/limerent experiences or affairs or even other troubling experiences that got your conscious mind (Ti) to walk straight up to your previously unconscious/less conscious decision-making center (Fe) and ask: What were you thinking???????????????? Was that really me????

I'm a big fan of the discovery of self through thinking about the push-pull relationship between Dominant and Inferior functions mentioned here: see Personality Junkie website. Any insight from INTPs and other personality types greatly welcomed!

[Strider95]

First experienced it when I was around 8.

No idea what triggered it. There I was trying to sleep and I thought about and realized how deceptive the passage of time is, how (seemingly) soon enough all of my loved ones will be gone and I'd think where did the time fly? And for what? I'll die soon enough. And then what? The scariness of realizing one's own fragility and pointlessness of one's existence got to me. I cried then. Everyone asked me why, I knew they would think it stupid or worse consider it; saddening themselves, so I didn't tell anyone.

Existentialism has become a part of me by now. It defines my thought processes. I do sometimes get hopeless and aimless, bored with the pointlessness. But I have started taking life as a big joke by now.

"The universe is a big joke, and the joke is on us."