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This is a discussion on I Think I Annoy People... within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by minavanhelsing Oh, I've been there before. It's called living with a parent who can literally spend five ...
I don't annoy anyone.. I'm the most introverted person ever. I am just scared that I might annoy someone else by talking about what I like..because I consider my interests to be very "not normal" and unable to start a conversation.
But I'm annoyed by a lot of people ._. High school sucks, bro.
I can relate.
I've had days when I just make the conscious effort to shut down and not make the little effort I usually do because people stop laughing, or they just don't listen, or they just stare... so I just give them 'a break'... or give myself a break, rather.
Every time I get comfortable around a new person or a new group of people and they start to see my personality develop, they tend to either get turned off or they start saying 'you used to be so quiet' ... as if that's an acceptable thing to say. It's the same as saying 'why do you talk so much now?'!!
People are annoyed because of our intellect and the perception of arrogance. I question my own humanity when I am the reason someone realizes that they arent as "smart" as I am, there is a moment when they look at the ground, as If they were cheated by god and left defeated by me.. I dont care if people are smart, I just like good convos..
My best bud is an intp and we had a 14 hour convo the other day... these are the moments I relish in life.
My imagination is scary at times, and the things I think of would scare most people. Not because its bad, just outside the realm of their ability to understand.
They are not hearing what you are saying... they are just waiting for you to ask how THEIR day is going or whatever.
I get all enthusiastic when someone from whom I hope to extract some interesting conversation asks what I've been doing or about my interests. I tell them and is usually met with "oh. ok, I've been doing X and Y. What do you think about Z?". Not paying attention to what I say at all.
Then all my hopes are dashed and I wonder if it is worth the excruciating effort to show your real interests and hope for an interesting conversation and understanding only for those precious few insights to go completely unnoticed. Then I withdraw and start replying in monosyllables and answering only when asked, sometimes sarcastically.
The ones talking to me don't seem to notice...
So yes, I worry about my breath being wasted and my words falling on deaf ears as it is a pointless waste of energy and mental calmness.
And I do worry about awkward silences when talking to new people.
I did not realize this was a quote. I suppose it's possible I culled it from some abyss in my brain, but mostly I said that because it's what I've come to realize. I've been on a few dates where I've spent the entire evening listening to my date ramble about his/herself, ended up going home and thinking what a bore the whole evening was, and woken up to text messages the next day that are all: "I had a GREAT time with you, let's do it again soon!"
Gahhh no.
But it works.
Sometimes I think it's helpful to have a little perspective too... you might be frustrated that a person never is interested in your interests, they might feel the same way -- that you talk too much, about boring subjects.
Alternatively ... sometimes when I'm with people I tune in just enough to be able to converse every half hour or so, and spend the rest of my time working out thoughts in my head.
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