I think I must be slightly atypical as an INTP because never, at any point in my life, have I had any difficulty fitting in. The chameleon aspect of my character has always been uber-strong. When I first read the short story, "The Martian" by Ray Bradbury, it felt as though I'd been impaled by a lightning bolt of recognition. I would have felt much better about that "recognition" if things had turned out well for the poor putty-Martian. As it was, I was left with a feeling of dread. I never felt that I had any more control over the process than the Martian did. I do tend to morph into whatever sort of companion-type is best received by the person I am standing next to, with a total absence of volition. For many years I filled the same sort of function within my contentious family. I was the Neutral Zone, the Fair Witness, the United Nations and Tower of Refuge all rolled into one. I do love people. I understand and relate to people. I think I change to better communicate, and to try to help people and learn from people. I think I may be exerting a bit more control over the morphing in my newer friendships. It isn't easy. People need so much. (Life is stressful sometimes.)
I think, to some extent, that is why I am still alone. It gives my "Morphing Martian" feature a rest if I can go home to a quiet solitude.
This feature has made it somewhat difficult to discern my own self. I have come to realize that while, in so many ways, I can seem very complex and even confusing, I am appallingly and profoundly simple. I don't need much more than very basic food, warmth, shelter and the opportunity to learn and understand the world around me. There just doesn't seem to be much to me. I would like to be well-known and loved by one other human being of the opposite sex, but, I am so damn simple (like plain, luke-warm oatmeal) that I'm not completely convinced that I would be worth the time, effort or committment. I mean, how often do you hear someone say, "I'll have the usual, - oatmeal. Plain and lukewarm, please." I have had romantic relationships with a few men. Nothing deep or lasting. I met and got to know an ISFJ male once. It was a singular experience. That was the first time I'd ever begun to feel any need for another person. It didn't work out, but I'd like to have a chance to experience that again. Apparently, there aren't many of them out there, though. Of course, romantic relationships are challenging regardless of type, so, I don't feel any particular disadvantage there.
Over time I have developed my will. I can make myself do anything I set my mind on. I can't seem to come up with much passion for things, though. My response is typically, "Well. That was interesting." Still, my will and my interests do get me sufficiently out and about.
Would I want to be anything other than an INTP? Why? What I want is basic food, warmth, shelter, the opportunity to learn and a loving, enduring, heterosexual relationship. Is there some other type that can guarantee these things? (Not that I have observed!) Furthermore, how could I ever want to be something else if I am already something other than anything I might want to be and never having been anything else, lack the critical mass of data with which to inform any decision for an alternate selection of choice? Change for me is gradual and experimental, not click and pick.
In re-reading, I realize I never mentioned being 'happy' anywhere. Something in me intuits that if I demand happiness, it may be at the expense of someone else in the world, somewhere, who ends up being rather unhappy. For myself, I just aspire to avoid unhappiness, I don't need to be happy.
I am not unhappy. INTP. Good.