My INTP best friend is bored with life? Help!

**Cover3** · 04-07-2012 12:43 AM

Originally Posted by Wishbutton

That's actually what I was thinking. I haven't been trying to suffocate her or anything, though she acts like that to me a bit (not suffocating, but very hugs-and-love) so I tend to fall back on perhaps she wants the same towards her?
But judging by her type and thinking pattern, I was just assuming she was more of a 'kick me out of my comfort zone and get my mind into gear' person. So I'm just kind of caught in between what will tick her off completely and what won't.
It's like walking in a minezone with her sometimes. D:
But I think what comes into play here is how big her T is, she's sort of in between. It changes frequently. She seems to need a bit of both F and T, but then I don't know, I'm not the brightest crayon in the box. She seems quite in tune with her F and T, I think she mentioned her T was low but still dominant, which I can see clearly. But I think there might just be more of a balance between her T and her F than maybe some of the people who have joined the board here? I think it's just a difference of balance.
But I still appreciate your posts! I'm trying everything haha, and I think (hope) it's working. She really is a bit of an attention-seeker, haha, so she just likes lots of people talking about her, thus why she ranted so much on her tumblr. But she's getting better, as far as I can tell, I think the problem is just the massive distance issue. I'm seeing her again in a week, so I can percieve some things better. :D
Thanks everyone for your comments though! Really really helpful!
I'm sorry if I'm annoying to your type, I know ENFPs can get a bit obsessive and suffocating.... for experience as one. ;D I really just care about her though! I hope you understand.

Don't worry about it a minute, the fact that you made this thread speaks volumes about your commitment to your friend, from personal experience I'll tell you that the best(and just about only) thing you can do is be there for her, you can propose certain courses of action if she seeks it out from you, but trying to steer her life on your own simply isn't going to work, be there, listen, don't judge, encourage whatever thing she seems to enjoy, even in the slightest, and you'll have accomplished more than you could ever imagine, the point of it all isn't for you to make her life better, but to show her you'll be there no matter what.

**stuff** · 04-07-2012 06:55 AM

I think moving is hell on any INTP. Sure, at first it's fascinating, a new place to explore! But then you realize that you don't know where everything is and more importantly that you miss your friends big time. Why? Because INTP's tend to have only a couple of good friends. And making new friends is so darn difficult. So that can certainly become very frustrating.

As far as the hugging and babying thing goes, I love doing a lot of things for friends that I don't really enjoy being done to me. I love buying them things or just doing a lot of things for them, I'm not a big fan of people doing things for me. I appreciate it when they do but I don't know, I am just not a fan of it. I don't mind things like hugging and kissing when I'm saying hello or goodbye, but if I'm feeling sad then hugging from some people is just awkward.

The best advice I can give is not for her but for you, we are all in charge of our own lives and how we live them. If she is bored with life then that is ultimately her problem and not yours. This is something she needs to deal with. I'm not saying you should ignore her, just keep trying to be the normal friend you've always been. I'm just saying that worrying too much about her and feeling any of it is your fault will not help YOU any. You love her and you are there for her if she needs you, but even if God forbid one day she decided to take her life, that's her decision, not something you can control.

I say this because at one point I was obsessed with trying to help a friend. Now this friend would talk about suicide quite often and that used to worry me so much. I felt like I had to save her from these ideas. I was asking around for advice and I ended up talking to my brother who is an ENTJ. That was his advice to me. At first I thought it was just cold and heartless but then I started thinking about it more and decided that he was indeed right. I continued helping my friend out but I didn't allow myself to get obsessed about it. Today my friend lives happily with her husband and family.

Also keep in mind that INTP's hate having people control them, so if you start giving too many suggestions of things to do they will start ignoring you just because it feels like you are controlling them or trying to. I don't want to speak for all of us but I HATE it when people are like "You should do this". In my mind I'm always like "Well you should STFU!".

**Mark Novbett** · 04-07-2012 11:25 AM

14. That's the issue. Some things just don't come without age. Just give her hope and ambition, be interested in her life, thoughts, future ideas. That's all she needs now.

**The Phantom** · 04-11-2012 09:46 AM

Originally Posted by stuff

I think moving is hell on any INTP. Sure, at first it's fascinating, a new place to explore! But then you realize that you don't know where everything is and more importantly that you miss your friends big time. Why? Because INTP's tend to have only a couple of good friends. And making new friends is so darn difficult. So that can certainly become very frustrating.

As far as the hugging and babying thing goes, I love doing a lot of things for friends that I don't really enjoy being done to me. I love buying them things or just doing a lot of things for them, I'm not a big fan of people doing things for me. I appreciate it when they do but I don't know, I am just not a fan of it. I don't mind things like hugging and kissing when I'm saying hello or goodbye, but if I'm feeling sad then hugging from some people is just awkward.

The best advice I can give is not for her but for you, we are all in charge of our own lives and how we live them. If she is bored with life then that is ultimately her problem and not yours. This is something she needs to deal with. I'm not saying you should ignore her, just keep trying to be the normal friend you've always been. I'm just saying that worrying too much about her and feeling any of it is your fault will not help YOU any. You love her and you are there for her if she needs you, but even if God forbid one day she decided to take her life, that's her decision, not something you can control.

I say this because at one point I was obsessed with trying to help a friend. Now this friend would talk about suicide quite often and that used to worry me so much. I felt like I had to save her from these ideas. I was asking around for advice and I ended up talking to my brother who is an ENTJ. That was his advice to me. At first I thought it was just cold and heartless but then I started thinking about it more and decided that he was indeed right. I continued helping my friend out but I didn't allow myself to get obsessed about it. Today my friend lives happily with her husband and family.

Also keep in mind that INTP's hate having people control them, so if you start giving too many suggestions of things to do they will start ignoring you just because it feels like you are controlling them or trying to. I don't want to speak for all of us but I HATE it when people are like "You should do this". In my mind I'm always like "Well you should STFU!".

http://i844.photobucket.com/albums/a...fuckometer.gif

lul