[Zarathustra]

Has anyone tried to be in a relationship with someone of the same personality type? I am an INTP and was with a girl who was also an INTP and it was awesome. I really felt like I was with someone who could understand me...and I would venture so far as to say I felt like I met my soulmate. Now being the logical thinker, I'm curious to see if this feeling was just a byproduct of being with someone who was the personality type, and that's why they understood me. Unfortunately it ended...she wasn't good at communicating her feelings and even though it took me a while to learn how to do this, I was able to. Relationship books say the same personality types are difficult, but all have a disclaimer saying that if both people try hard, any type can work. Please state your personality type and your experience when making a comment.

[this is my username]

INTP/INTP relationship compatibility

[NeedsNewNameNow]

Has anyone tried to be in a relationship with someone of the same personality type? I am an INTP and was with a girl who was also an INTP and it was awesome. I really felt like I was with someone who could understand me...and I would venture so far as to say I felt like I met my soulmate. Now being the logical thinker, I'm curious to see if this feeling was just a byproduct of being with someone who was the personality type, and that's why they understood me. Unfortunately it ended...she wasn't good at communicating her feelings and even though it took me a while to learn how to do this, I was able to. Relationship books say the same personality types are difficult, but all have a disclaimer saying that if both people try hard, any type can work. Please state your personality type and your experience when making a comment.

There are two things that work against same-type relationships. One is same weaknesses, another is the same functions may not always play nice. Let's say you had two dominant Fi's with different sets of values.. this could conflict alot. There are probably other examples too.

in my case, we get along well. Feelings aren't exactly open, well not wide open. We can express positive feelings easily, anything else we kinda beat around the bush about, but the other is usually perceptive enough to know what we are trying to say, but isn't exactly upfront about acknowledging it. It is a somewhat unsettling way of communicating, but it works overall.

[BUtheBabyUnicorn]

I have a friend who's an INTP. She's bugging me a lot lately.
For one thing, I believe she can be incredibly biased, while she thinks that she's perfectly objective. Then again, I could be biased as well. But anyway, she refuses to believe that she's incredibly subjective sometimes.
She's also an incredible hypocrite.
She doesn't communicate her feelings very well. Mostly she just says that she hates everyone.
She's also very hypocritical. She proclaimed that I could be very girly, or "typical teenage girl-ish" (probably my hopeless romantic persona :P), sometimes, and went on to explain how girly girls annoyed and disappointed her with my other friend. But all she does is gossip and complain about other people, another trait of teenage girls.
And the worst part is, these are all the worst parts of my personality. There's almost no room for personal growth.
I've found being with an ESFJ friend much better for my growth as a person. But having an INTP friend who's younger than you, and therefore going through different stages of stupid teenage hormones at different times than you, is basically hell. Because I have to listen to her talk about how depressed she is, and it's like reliving my depressive months all over again.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes having an INTP close friend can be great, but it also has its downsides.
I would suspect that some of the same downsides apply to romantic relationships as well.

[NeedsNewNameNow]

the one thing that doesn't work well for me in this combination is conflict. it rarely happens, but whenever there is a little bit of friction i can feel her get uncomfortable discussing it, and usually she pulls away for a bit. i sort of understand it, but I'd rather just deal with issues quickly and move on

[TheOwl]

An INTP told me that I was the only one who ever understood him and then chased me for more than a semester despite me saying no every time up until I got a boyfriend.
Part of it was the social awkwardness that turned me off. It took me 4 times of saying "You should leave" for the INTP to actually get out of my house. I also told him not to go in my room, and he did anyway. Wtf.
Then he showed up at my house uninvited the next day.
The clinginess made him seem kind of un-INTPish, but I couldn't think of any other type he could be. MBTI quizzes and cognition function tests both pegged him as an INTP.

[LaudaGirl]

I think INTP/INTP relationships are very possible and in many respects a dual pairing is good for an INTP - much less explaining and/or guess work to do. @NeedsNewNameNow and I are both in relationships with fellow INTPs and we both seem to be doing okay with our respective mates. On one hand, it's blissful to be with another INTP (they understand us, man) but on the other hand, when there is any conflict we scatter away like cockroaches from dealing with feelings.

[Richard]

The clinginess made him seem kind of INTPish, but I couldn't think of any other type he could be.

I wouldn’t peg an INTP as being of the clingy sort, male or female.

[NeedsNewNameNow]

I think INTP/INTP relationships are very possible and in many respects a dual pairing is good for an INTP - much less explaining and/or guess work to do. @NeedsNewNameNow and I are both in relationships with fellow INTPs and we both seem to be doing okay with our respective mates. On one hand, it's blissful to be with another INTP (they understand us, man) but on the other hand, when there is any conflict we scatter away like cockroaches from dealing with feelings.

Does it have to be this way? I have a desire to confront the issue head on to get it over with, and not have it linger, unspoken-- I find that more uncomfortable.

[TheOwl]

I wouldn’t peg an INTP as being of the clingy sort, male or female.

Oops, I meant un-INTPish. That's why I wondered if he was a different type.