[kinetickyle]

What social rituals do the rest of you introverts hate? I hate the "So, what did you do this weekend?" line of questioning that comes every Monday morning. I don't care what you did this weekend, and I'm pretty sure you don't care what I did. Leave me alone and let me wallow in the misery that being back at work brings. I know it's a minor thing, but it still annoys me. I'm just curious as to what pushes everyone else's buttons.

[DeductiveReasoner]

I hate shaking hands. I'm ambidextrous, so it's not uncommon for me to pay no attention to which hand I'm using. Thus, there have been several occasions where I offered my left hand as opposed to my right. Why which hand I use is even relevant I have no idea, but for some reason this has caused several awkward situations.

The whole dating process.

Keeping jokes appropriate.

I have pretty lengthy rant about holding doors for women. I didn't ask you to hold the door open for me. Yes, it's nice. No, I didn't ask/expect you to. No I'm not impressed, and no I'm not indebted to you.

[Richard]

The pretending to care when you meet/are introduced to someone new. I can’t smile, I can’t think of anything to say, I just eye ball them, say Hi, give the head nod and an attempt to smirk that invariably ends up looking like I’m trying to eat the corner of my mouth.
Also acknowledging people you somewhat know when you randomly end up walking past them. The standard thing is to smile, I’d rather disappear up my own asshole.

I bear no ill will towards anyone, but I really am no good at feigning interest on cue.

[qingdom]

I hate shaking hands. I'm ambidextrous, so it's not uncommon for me to pay no attention to which hand I'm using. Thus, there have been several occasions where I offered my left hand as opposed to my right. Why which hand I use is even relevant I have no idea, but for some reason this has caused several awkward situations.

I probably have a few more that are a bit more relevant to this topic, but I can't think of the right now.

fist bump! problem solved! yippee! works with either hand.

[Diligent Procrastinator]

Greeting people in person...

[2ch]

"What are you going to do this afternoon or evening?"
"Do you have any plans?"
"What are you doing now?"

are some classical questions.

[RogueWave]

The standard thing is to smile, I’d rather disappear up my own asshole.

Theoretically, if you could actually do this, you end up inside out and covered in your own shit. No one would ever want to talk to you ever again. Hell of a defense mechanism.

The one that I hate is being expected to laugh at jokes that aren't funny. The vast majority of people have a lame and predictable sense of humor, but never the less you're supposed to laugh anyway. I refuse to. So in turn I get labeled as having no sense of humor.

[Longdove]

I don't know, for me - I acknowledge that these are normal and common, even needed things, but they always come off forced, phony, or insincere, and I hate being in a situation where one can't be sincere, it feels tremendously awkward. I don't like dis-associating myself from my own knowledge of certain behavior in certain people, if someone fakes a smile and they say "How are yoouuuu....???" It makes me feel uncomfortable to give any reply, because I know they're not asking out of sincerity, but just out of routine habit, and structure.

Under family/relative situations, though technically they're closer to me, it becomes a point that they're asking for kind of gossipy purposes, so they can tell it to their friends or whoever they consider, that to me comes off as intruding upon my privacy, which in my opinion, they don't even have a right to know about those details, but they ask as if I'm obligated to answer them just because they're my relatives, when I ask them nothing personal in return, you'd think that they'd get a clue that "Oh, she's just not someone that talks much..." but instead, they keep asking the same question repeatedly, and it forces me to try to avoid any get togethers with them at all if possible, because the focus of their conversation will always be centered on me, and I'm not there to talk about myself, since I don't talk about such things around people who would criticize me for it anyway.

I don't ask for much, if I see someone I may often run into, as in a store I often have to go to, and they somewhat know me, I'm content with saying a simple hey, and them a hi back, or a hand gesture greeting, and nothing more needs to be asked, it's fine with me.

But dam it, man, be consistent, don't put on this instant smile when you're in the shop, pretend to want to talk to me, and then later pass by that same person under another setting and have them turn their head, look down, or avoid a stare, it becomes insulting after a point, and I can't fake it that they somehow haven't done that.

[Richard]

Theoretically, if you could actually do this, you end up inside out and covered in your own shit. No one would ever want to talk to you ever again. Hell of a defense mechanism.

The one that I hate is being expected to laugh at jokes that aren't funny. The vast majority of people have a lame and predictable sense of humor, but never the less you're supposed to laugh anyway. I refuse to. So in turn I get labeled as having no sense of humor.

I meant it in a magical vanish-y harry potter sense.
But your vision of things would achieve the desired effect too.

The laughing thing bothers me less, I don’t know why, I feel like I have the right to not laugh if I don’t find something funny so I don’t get that feeling of pressure.
When you meet people, especially in a professional capacity, you’re supposed to give the impression you care/are enthusiastic. If I had trouble deciding to get out of bed that morning, I certainly won’t be able to put on a show for the new guy.

[Reicheru]

The pretending to care when you meet/are introduced to someone new. I can’t smile, I can’t think of anything to say, I just eye ball them, say Hi, give the head nod and an attempt to smirk that invariably ends up looking like I’m trying to eat the corner of my mouth.
Also acknowledging people you somewhat know when you randomly end up walking past them. The standard thing is to smile, I’d rather disappear up my own asshole.

I bear no ill will towards anyone, but I really am no good at feigning interest on cue.

^ this.

chit-chat in general just seems superficial. there's nothing more irritating. and on the rare occassion that i do care about somebody enough to interestedly ask in their day's happenings, they automatically reply "yeah fine you?" when it actually isn't. that upsets me. i'm asking you because i care... if something's up, please be honest; we don't have to delve if you don't want to but it's nice to know.

men (& women) who decide they have the hots for me on the 1st or 2nd meeting and then feel conflicted & confused when i tell them to slow the fuck down, i've just met them.

men (and again, women...) who meet me and then attempt to befriend me (read: friendzone themself) to subtly get into my pants through instead of being upfront about their intentions. so i'm stuck, trying to distance myself, feeling guilty, avoidant and frankly annoyed by such perfidiousness.

when people ask if i want to be close / their best friend, as if it's a choice or a job offering. :S

certain aspects of female homosociality. just, ugh. especially the "i love you so much, you're amazing & strong & beautiful and don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise!" then bitching incessantly behind that person's back. i mean what

dating - i just don't get it. srsly. if i like someone enough to admit it, i've presumably already decided that i would like something with them. the pressure of dating "just to see" seems so forced. if i'm really quite so unsure about somebody, i'm hardly likely to feel comfortable with them, and there's no way in hell we'd be intimate despite those sexual expectations people have. it's a waste of time for everybody involved; i don't fall easy...

shaking hands doesn't do well for my social anxiety.

crying women. :/ i'm more one to try to problem-solve or put a hand on your shoulder and say "it'll be OK" than offer false compliments, intrusive hugs and over-the-top gestures of affection. many girls seem to need the latter. i just can't do it. it's... too strange.

drinking being considered a social activity, even if most of the time it ends in arguments or regretful sexual choices. i don't mind having a beer or two with chums at their house and having a silly night in but going to clubs full of strangers and getting paralytic is not my idea of fun.