[LaudaGirl]

So I'm an INTP girl, who by my serious narcissistic leanings or fate, have fallen for an INTP guy I work with. We circle around each other like buzzards but neither of us has been able to make the first move. After a year and half of this nonsense, we find ourselves mutually attracted and repelled by one another, and I have finally given up on the hope of us getting into a relationship and have started seeing other people.

Our office has decided that we should have more morale and have divided us up into group of ten for "team building" exercises. For each team, we were given a color with our own little flag (my team color is purple, his is lime green). In a rare act of solidarity and creativity, I pinned my flag to the wall in my cubicle and forgot all about it. So for 6 weeks or so, he's been ignoring me, but then one day I come in to work and notice that something is different at my desk. An hour later I had to pass by his desk and noticed that he had stolen my flag and pinned it to his wall. I sent him a nasty email calling him a dirty thief but didn't demand it back and for 2 weeks it stayed pinned to his wall. Then, his desk was moved to another location in the building and when I came in to work, my flag was pinned back to my wall and lying next to it on my desk was his flag. So I took my flag down and pinned his to my wall instead.



I'm hoping some INTP guys might give me their theories on what this nonsense all means. Its not as if we're able to talk about our feelings, or behave in a normal adult fashion. It seems to me like 2 INTPs courting one another is always either a game of constant posturing or blunt heavy handed accusations followed by long periods of silence. If any one cares to give their 2 cents, I'd much appreciate it.

[rayk]

Hahaha holy shit. This makes me question if I am an INTP.

[Strider95]

Simplest way? - Talk to him about it..

Really not as problematic as it seems..

[Iamtp]

It sounds like an extraordinarily roundabout way of flirting. I would think "Game on!" if someone stole something from me at work.
Write him back an email that says:
"Why didn't you write me back a nasty email?
-Sexual Tension"

[whytiger]

Yes, doing something like that would be a form of flirtation. I wouldn't do it to somebody I was not interested in. I would be waiting for your move. You could ask him out for a cup of coffee or something.

[TPlume]

Ok, this wasn't addressed to me BUT I should atleast thank you for that post, it's hilarious! What is it? 'capture the flag' at work?? :P ... and buzzards lol.

As for my 2 cents, I think it's a funny way to say "you're mine!" so maybe you should step it up... hmm, pinning his flag to your wall should have done it... so, you should step it up even further :)

[Sleeve Of Wizard]

You should colour your flag onto one of those yellow sticky notes with an invitation for a coffee written on the back of it, then stick it on his computer screen, or somewhere else where he'll end up having to remove it so he can glance at the back of it.

[Jennywocky]

....one day I come in to work and notice that something is different at my desk. An hour later I had to pass by his desk and noticed that he had stolen my flag and pinned it to his wall. I sent him a nasty email calling him a dirty thief but didn't demand it back and for 2 weeks it stayed pinned to his wall. Then, his desk was moved to another location in the building and when I came in to work, my flag was pinned back to my wall and lying next to it on my desk was his flag. So I took my flag down and pinned his to my wall instead.

Oh! So cuuttttte!!!!!!!! j/k

Anyway, it's either flirting or he's just playing around with you as a known "kindred spirit."

But if you're interested, I'd take the flag and run with themes on it as others have suggested, and make a game out of it.

I think the main problem is just that, to have a relationship, sometimes you gotta talk directly. I'm a big proponent of the idea that "the person as they behave now is the person you will have to deal with in the relationship." You can't expect this approach to change; if you don't like how he's relating to you now in lieu of being more direct, you might not want to instigate something more with him.

[NeedsNewNameNow]

I have a successful relationship with an INTP woman.

If you mean what I think you mean by 'repelled' one or both of you get scared and back off, confusing the other about your intentions. And that leads to the other crap.

It worked in my case, because we both avoided doing that. I just didn't give into the temptation, neither did she. So even though neither of us came out and said it, we both knew we liked each other and things just progressed.

My best advice, if you want him, don't give into that fear. Maybe he will stop too

[DeductiveReasoner]

Why didn't you steal something of his? That's what I would've done. Subtle, yet it attracts attention. And not much can be inferred about your motives because it was simply mimicking his original move.

That's hilarious, though.