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This is a discussion on INFP and INTP within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; INTP's... give me your thoughts on INFP's. Especially if you've dated an INFP. Of course I want it all, the ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    INFP and INTP

    INTP's... give me your thoughts on INFP's. Especially if you've dated an INFP. Of course I want it all, the good and the bad - but, being the emotional F that I am, take it easy on me if you can :)

    You guys are wonderful! Let's bond!

  2. #2
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I will succumb to boosting your ego, because I want to share how much I love my INFP best friend. You want good and bad, so I'll do a list. Hooray for lists!

    - She's kind.
    - She sees the good in everyone.
    - I can't name a single person who dislikes her, nor a reason why anybody might.
    - She's got an amazing sense of humour.
    - She's one of the few people I can tolerate hugging.
    I'll give you a moment to let the magnitude of that last comment sink in before continuing.
    - She never fails to cheer me up on down days.
    - She really cares.
    - She's not fake.
    - She doesn't know how amazing she is, so she's not got an arrogant or selfish bone in her body.
    - She's almost child-like in her enthusiasm and love.

    - Sometimes she's too nice. She can be a pushover.
    - She cares what people think too much. It would hurt her a lot to find out someone doesn't like her. Good think everyone does.
    - She worries a lot.
    - She can be a bit sensitive. Sometimes I have to reassure her that my bad mood wasn't her fault. Things like that.
    - She dates people that aren't deserving of her.
    - She feels responsible for how others feel.
    - She sometimes feels guilty even though she's done nothing wrong.

    Unfortunately, I haven't dated any INFPs, as male INFPs are particularly rare.

    [Disclaimer: I cannot speak for all INTPs or INFPs. I am one, singular INTP talking about a particular INFP. The rest of you could be arseholes for all I know ]

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality

    Infps are nice, too bad that theyre so rare!
    Brainfreeze_237, L, JenovaProject and 2 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by sly View Post
    Infps are nice, too bad that theyre so rare!
    Same goes for INFJ's.....

  5. #5
    INTP - The Thinkers

    My...uhh.. sort of ex is an INFP. He and I are still involved.

    Anyway, I love him very much. But I sometimes wish he were more logical and rational and could understand explanations of feelings. Sometimes he doesn't know when I'm trying to have a deep/emotional conversation, because I present it in a matter-of-fact, objective manner. I wish he were more objective sometimes, and sometimes he glosses over my feelings because I think he sometimes thinks I'm devoid of emotion. I'm not very neurotic, so I think he sometimes think I get over everything in about two seconds (which is the case more often than not, but it is not uncommon for me to feel upset for a good hour or so).

    He is an amazing friend, usually. He truly cares about other people even if he tries to play it off like he's all big and bad. He's extremely passionate about what he cares about and can be very driven if need be. He's amazing to be around and just has this...aura, or something, that makes him incredibly fun. He's caring and protective and he will go to the ends of the earth to help you if you're in serious trouble. One time my back door was hanging wide open and even though he was exhausted he stayed on the phone with me until I checked every room in the house for intruders. Another time one of our mutual friends had taken a bad combination of pills and it affected her negatively, and he stayed up with her all night even though he had class.

    He worries so much about everything, and it kills me. He's always under some kind of stress. He needs to learn how to relax and chill out. He's insecure, although he hides it well.

    I don't know any other confirmed INFPs, but I've got two other friends who I suspect may be INFPs. They're both rather similar to my ex that I just described.
    pancaketreehouse thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Well, I'm like half INFP, so my opinion prolly doesn't count. I think they're pretty swell, though. Terribly sensitive. Optimistic. Life is hard, I think, for the INFP. Which is most likely why I turned INTP, somewhere along my timeline. Much, much easier to live life in your head. Much. But I'm slowly reconnecting with her (my INTP self, if you will). She cries a lot about everything---not because everything is sad, but rather, because everything is so thoroughly moving.

    Ugghh. It's exhausting.
    NeonBomb and yitznewton thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I have an INFP friend and my ex was an ENFP.

    Focusing specifically on the INFP ... I love how open he is to love. He's very expressive. He's deep. He's super kindhearted and fluffy to the core. He really draws out my emotional side, but in a good way, where the two of us have conversations about people in meaningful ways - me using the rational side of my brain and slowly coming to an emotional point, him coming from an emotional point and becoming more rational. He is always thinking deeply about something, and it may not be math or science or whatever, but it's still meaningful, and that's what I adore about him.

    The only thing that has concerned me (in the past) is that he does seem to fall in love rather easily and not necessarily know when a relationship is bad for him. From what I can tell, he's in a really good, healthy relationship now though, so it's not a big deal. He also really liked me at one point so that was hard on me!

    With the ENFP... he had a lot of similar traits of being compassionate, caring, openly loving, emotionally honest etc. but everything was BIGGER. Big shows of affection, demanding attention, putting himself in the center of conversation. And naturally, whenever we got in fights, he was very outwardly emotional and I tend to get more withdrawn. We had to really struggle to find balance so that I wouldn't shut him out completely and he wouldn't overwhelm me with emotion.

    Both are dreamers and idealists to the core. I like that about them. I really do think NFPs are awesome, but their emotional states can be a little draining on an INTP. Balance is key - if you're talking emotions, do it in a logical/analytical way. Both enjoy talking about theories and ideas and possibilities, so fill your conversations with them. Annnd of course, do not take it personally if the INTP needs to withdraw. As an introvert, you probably understand that, but as a sensitive introvert, you may wonder "why?" rather than "how long?" Don't even bother with the first question. :)

    Hope that helped.

  8. #8
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by goodgracesbadinfluence View Post
    Sometimes he doesn't know when I'm trying to have a deep/emotional conversation, because I present it in a matter-of-fact, objective manner.
    Ahhh, you just struck a chord on my inner INTP guitar. It bums me out this is hard for others to understand.

    Mr. Roboto:
    I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin,
    My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain IBM,

    I'm not a robot without emotions, I'm not what you see...
    L thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by yitznewton View Post
    Ahhh, you just struck a chord on my inner INTP guitar. It bums me out this is hard for others to understand.
    I don't understand how else I'm supposed to talk about it. On the rare occasions I am actually upset and on the verge of tears, it overwhelms said INFP. I don't really go to anyone else with problems.
    yitznewton thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I dated one for some months. It was a very trying relationship.

    The good:
    -very quick connection, felt deep, like we've known each other forever. I really enjoyed talking to her (at least at first)

    The bad:
    - she was not open enough with her feelings-- um, ok we INTPs are guilty of this, but for us it's because we feel vulnerable. For her it seemed more of she didn't feel the need to repeat things she already told me once? IDK, I didn't really understand because she never explained it (another problem) If the person I'm with isn't expressing feeling, then that triggers the INTP emotional vulnerability and I have trouble expressing mine == death spiral :( BTW -- it seems there's a certain type of INFP that behaves this way, others do not?
    - having conversations about the relationship. If I bring these up, it would upset her greatly! Even innocent ones, she would start feeling blamed. I was never trying to blame, I was just trying to understand, because after all, she wasn't really being open (see 1st point). She would start them, but only after I upset her (usually bc I had become so withdrawn to her actions)
    - I would often get stinging responses from her and not the type of response I was hoping for. Often made me regret bringing up certain topics
    - If I upset here, she would rarely help me understand what I said wrong. She would just talk to me for the rest of the day

    In the beginning, it felt like a great connection, felt like we had a really good understanding of each other. But by the end we were barely able to talk about anything meaningful, it had become apparent how many misunderstandings we had along the way. Apparent to me, anyway. She seemed to have no idea what went wrong or how to fix it. She would bring up that something is wrong, but never put effort into fixing it.

    That is just one INFP.. I have a few other INFP friends. They can be fun to talk to, but I think the thing that bothers me most about them is a gap between their words and actions. They'll tell you how much they like you, and they like spending time with you, but then their actions say something else, like they'll disappear for awhile and not act the way they said they would
    NeonBomb, polaroid sea, Protagoras and 3 others thanked this post.

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