[Kilgore Trout]

When I'm over depression, I think, "why did I ever feel the way I used to?" but when I'm not feeling manic, it's so hard to think of what it felt like to be thinking that. No matter how happy I get, I always return to this state of hopelessness where all I can think is, "what's the point of going through this? I remember happy moments, but they can't be worth what I'm going through now." I feel whiny when I'm like this. But I also feel like it's not my fault, and I can't do anything about it. Emotions are uncontrollable for me. For me, they have nothing to do with external, controllable things. I see people around me who seem depressed and then all of a sudden they get some money or a boyfriend or something and they're happy. Why can't happiness be that easy for me to achieve?

I'm assuming that you are not depressed but feel depressed occasionally.

I have moments of existential despair too. Whenever I am depressed, I try to discuss and debate with myself, rationally and truthfully and uncensored, to find the core issue, and after a while, I feel more content. Sometimes I need to refresh my mind by walking, driving, meditating, exercising, or escaping by spending time with people. Other times, I search for answers to the difficult questions that I pose myself, from outside sources, of which I might consider honest or respectable.



Perhaps you seek happiness directly and examine your emotions whenever you feel pleasure rather than finding the means to induce happiness. Using myself as an example again, I want to engage in a passion or interest rather than directly seek the emotion of happiness. Maybe your definition of happiness differs from those you see around you, or perhaps, they seem happy but suffer from an inner turmoil.

As an INTP, or as a human being, you question your life, what you could do, how you have failed in the past, why you exist, and what the meaning of your existence is. The dread of self-examination and the compulsion that comes with it drives us into disparaging states. We all suffer from a cruel and absurd world, but we project our mentality to shade the meaning or meaninglessness of it all.

[InevitablyKriss]

Right now, I'm wondering about that whole "Are you okay?" thing when I'm just thinking.

I mean, if people constantly think that when somebody goes silent and has a firm look on their face that there is something the matter, it makes me wonder about the F's.

Cause, really, I know that F's aren't just automatically dumb or anything. You can be an F and very intelligent, I believe! But when they go silent, are they not thinking?

If they are thinking, are they thinking about how depressed they are? Or how somebody said something that bothered them? That's still thinking too, but are they not analyzing it? What are they doing with that upsetting thought?

Does this mean when other people are quiet around me, I should actually snap them out of it because they're not thinking of anything useful?

It feels as if the answer should be right in front of me, like I've been this way myself, but I don't know for certain.


Hm.

I'm also thinking about, since I took that MBTI test, I've been classifying everyone I know in my head- or even characters from books (Margo Roth Spiegelman would be... INTP I think... Or an ENTP, but then you know, the moral of the whole book... Q is definately an ISTJ. ..I think anyway. Maybe an INTJ...) or from Anime (America would be ENFP?), and the likes...

Oh but now I'm thinking about the whole perception of one's self thing. Because there's three of you, you know? The way you view yourself, the way others view you, and the way you really are. I wonder if that effects MBTI? Hm. I wonder how others percieve me?

Now I'm thinking I want to reread Paper Towns.

[Sparktrog]

Cause, really, I know that F's aren't just automatically dumb or anything. You can be an F and very intelligent, I believe! But when they go silent, are they not thinking?

If they are thinking, are they thinking about how depressed they are? Or how somebody said something that bothered them? That's still thinking too, but are they not analyzing it? What are they doing with that upsetting thought?

Now you have raised that curious flag in my head once more. I have always thought that others had to be similar to me, that while I am silent of mouth, my head is a torment of thoughts. A constant voice going over the things said, information gained, ideas being sprouted from thin air. I almost never have a silent moment when my tongue holds still. Yet, I also have noticed that when I ask other what they are thinking, they are taken aback as if I just said something in a foreign language. Their surprise is strange to me, curious as I always want to probe deeper and see if they too hold vast amounts of constantly refreshing data streaming into their conscious mind or if they truly are just blank caverns that merely hold thoughts in suspension...

[InevitablyKriss]

Now you have raised that curious flag in my head once more. I have always thought that others had to be similar to me, that while I am silent of mouth, my head is a torment of thoughts. A constant voice going over the things said, information gained, ideas being sprouted from thin air. I almost never have a silent moment when my tongue holds still. Yet, I also have noticed that when I ask other what they are thinking, they are taken aback as if I just said something in a foreign language. Their surprise is strange to me, curious as I always want to probe deeper and see if they too hold vast amounts of constantly refreshing data streaming into their conscious mind or if they truly are just blank caverns that merely hold thoughts in suspension...

I'm sure that's not the case... I'm sure they are thinking, but maybe they just digest thoughts differently? We're never not thinking right? Or maybe they're just thinking slower. I read somewhere that F's do think like T's, just think slower, that maybe it takes a while longer to process the information. Maybe it's not that they just fly through subjects and ideas, but maybe are just savoring the taste, and....

But if that was the case we wouldn't be asked all the time "are you okay" when we're thinking. *scratches neck* Which brings me back to thinking they're just thinking about their feelings. But it's still thinking...


Oh! Which reminds me!
I've also been thinking, for a while now, but I've been touching upon in my head and then abandoning it for other thoughts because I figure thinking about this will get me nowhere...

For all the rest, I can understand- and I mean that in the sense of Introvert is the opposite of Extrovert. Sensing is the opposite of Intuition. Judgement is the opposite of Perceiving. But is thinking really the opposite of feeling? That's what thought I've been chewing on whenever I come to the idea that maybe MBTI isn't fully accurate.

It's that, it's that right there! Can you not be both at the same time? Be a lot of each? Although decision making you may choose one over the other, can you not be an emotional person who loves to think? Or a cold genius who actually makes decisions based on heart over head?

[Sparktrog]

But if that was the case we wouldn't be asked all the time "are you okay" when we're thinking. *scratches neck* Which brings me back to thinking they're just thinking about their feelings. But it's still thinking...

For all the rest, I can understand- and I mean that in the sense of Introvert is the opposite of Extrovert. Sensing is the opposite of Intuition. Judgement is the opposite of Perceiving. But is thinking really the opposite of feeling? That's what thought I've been chewing on whenever I come to the idea that maybe MBTI isn't fully accurate.

It's that, it's that right there! Can you not be both at the same time? Be a lot of each? Although decision making you may choose one over the other, can you not be an emotional person who loves to think? Or a cold genius who actually makes decisions based on heart over head?

I am quite honestly lost in a torrent of ideas now that I cannot completely respond to this. I do believe that they are thinking but you strike a point in that why would they always ask us other-wise. I don't believe it's so much an opposite, or truly a form of thinking in the sense of MBTI and in our minds. While we consider the analyzing of our feelings to discover how deep they truly are, maybe they don't truly consider it "Thinking" maybe they see it as it says, "feeling" the extent of their emotions. While it makes sense to us to call it a form of thinking, maybe it does not to them. I am lost in this conundrum. If you could follow my thoughts, I applaud you, for I can barely do so.

[InevitablyKriss]

I am quite honestly lost in a torrent of ideas now that I cannot completely respond to this. I do believe that they are thinking but you strike a point in that why would they always ask us other-wise. I don't believe it's so much an opposite, or truly a form of thinking in the sense of MBTI and in our minds. While we consider the analyzation of our feelings to discover how deep they truly are, maybe they don't truly consider it "Thinking" maybe they see it as it say "feeling" the extent of their emotions. While it makes sense to us to call it a form of thinking, maybe it does not to them. I am lost in this conundrum

You might be onto something there! Maybe they're spending that time when they're not speaking and making that look that makes people ask "are you okay?" they're just feeling all that they can feel. Amplifying the feeling for maximum feelage!

I do believe that people who are a lot more emotional tend to be a lot less depressed as a whole, and it might be because of this- that they're just feeling as much as they can feel, and maybe after that, it's done with? They've already felt all that they're going to feel out of it? IDK. Should I ask another board?

[eruceht]

Pointless.

[Sparktrog]

You might be onto something there! Maybe they're spending that time when they're not speaking and making that look that makes people ask "are you okay?" they're just feeling all that they can feel. Amplifying the feeling for maximum feelage!

I do believe that people who are a lot more emotional tend to be a lot less depressed as a whole, and it might be because of this- that they're just feeling as much as they can feel, and maybe after that, it's done with? They've already felt all that they're going to feel out of it? IDK. Should I ask another board?

If you ask, send me the link, for you have stirred my interest. And I don't believe they just "feel out of it" I believe that feeling then most likely morphs into another, slowly or rapidly depending on the situation. Or...or...or...maybe they are like us! Maybe they have torments of, instead of ideas, feelings and emotions based on the environment and people and situations occuring around them. That, instead of searching for meaning they look for a way to help themselves or other become comfortable and enjoy a better feeling like when we try to enjoy a good conversation or debate with the thoughts in our heads! Still, just spouting random ideas.

[InevitablyKriss]

Pointless.

What's pointless?

[eruceht]

What's pointless?

Pointless was my random thought that come to mind while reading this thread.