[username]

Ok, so I like this guy. I am pretty sure he is also an INTP. We have known each other for a few years. I think he likes me also, but I am not sure. He has told me once he liked me in an e-mail but that was last year. We are both really shy. I think we both need others to open us up in order to talk. Sometimes one of us will say a lot about himself/ herself, but if the other person isn't constantly doing the same thing, then we decide to close up again. I know that my feelings for him are not reflected in my behavior. I never give him much to read. I think he does the same thing with me. I think we are confusing each other. I don't want to be direct. Any advice on how to build a relationship with this person, how to show him how much I care without having to be direct?

[NeedsNewNameNow]

Show lots of interest in him? That would help me out of my shell

[Kevinaswell]

You sure you guys are INTP?

INTP's often go ape shit for each other pretty easily >.<

(At least I hear, I've never really met one.)

[BraChime]

You sure you guys are INTP?

INTP's often go ape shit for each other pretty easily >.<

(At least I hear, I've never really met one.)

would that mean most INTPs would hook up with another INTP, assuming one party takes the initiative?

._.

[username]

I think I am an INTP, however, the description of INFP's fits me also. I think I must have multiple personality disorder! LOL

I am not sure he is an INTP, but I know he is really intelligent. He used to be an engineer but gave it up to become a philanthropist. Maybe he's an INFP? I don't think he's an S because our personalities and thinking are very similar.

Do two INFP's have these kinds of problems? Or rather two INTP's with INFP tendencies?

[username]

Oh, and I can't show interest in him. I feel stalkerish and am the female so expect the male to show interest first. Plus, I don't know how to show interest overtly due to INTP-ness.

[Chilln]

would that mean most INTPs would hook up with another INTP, assuming one party takes the initiative?

._.

I'm pretty sure that yes this is true. I've never had the fortune of going out with an INTP ..or an INFP for that matter. Only extroverted types so far....I'll have to fix that sometime.

[AirMarionette]

Gah, I would never want to date someone with my personality type! I suppose it also depends on the extent to which we differed, despite being "functionally identical". Actually, it could make things more comfortable between each type if they sense that they're pretty similar, but, still...

Just try to be direct without coming on too strong? Let it be known that you have feelings for him, I mean I don't see any other backdoor method that would get things done quicker. You're both so alike in the aspect of introversion that you're going to have to overcome something that you wouldn't normally do if you want to be with each other. Just ask him, talk to him, be confident about it, and throw expectations out the window; if you're sure that he reciprocates, it won't really matter. Resist the urge to withdraw! ;)

[NeedsNewNameNow]

Do two INFP's have these kinds of problems? Or rather two INTP's with INFP tendencies?

It wouldn't surprise me if any pairing of INxx's had these problems. I had similar problems when I was with an INFP.. Although she did take initiative to start the relationship! She just went back in her shell later and things got really confusing

[NeedsNewNameNow]

Oh, and I can't show interest in him. I feel stalkerish and am the female so expect the male to show interest first. Plus, I don't know how to show interest overtly due to INTP-ness.

ah well-- as an INTP guy, I look for girls that talk to me, smile at me, feel approachable, etc. If I feel they have something, they are the ones I will pursue since I already can sense there is some interest there. Going after girls that don't give me any signs seems like too much work and risk of failure/rejection too high..

I am not going to think the girl is being stalkerish unless she gets too pushy/demanding, or starts spying on me excessively, etc.

By showing interest, I mean talk to him or be available to talk to him, ask questions about him, smile, laugh at his jokes, etc.

If you find yourself thinking "oh I can't do such and such because he's going to think ______", then you have to fight those thoughts. I've noticed introverts routinely underdo things because they fear being too obvious or whatever, but in reality we aren't obvious at all!!

You want to be on his radar screen, so you need to do things to catch his attention. Especially if he's shy and/or doesn't have alot of experience in dating, they you are going to try even harder.